day care bullies

Michelle - posted on 05/17/2010

My son didn't get bullied in daycare but he did get bullied at school when he was in grade 1 and like you we told our son it was not ok to hit to use his words and the school would never do anything about it and eventually we did have to tell to go ahead and hit the kid unfortunately for him that was the only way to deal with it. Very passive children unfortunately get bullied because they are an easy target. Bullies want to feel powerful and in control and a passive child will continually give them that satisfaction....at age 3 I wouldn't reccommend telling him to fight back but definitely to use his words the more he sticks up for himself with words the less the bullies are going to pick on him. And in the end he will feel better about being able defend himself

Melissa - posted on 05/17/2010

Sorry to hear about your son. This is not acceptable and incomprehensible that the child care provider is almost encouraging this behaviour in young children.

I don't think 3 year olds have a full grasp of the concept of bullying. For example I doubt the other children are targeting your son just because he is still in diapers and sucks his thumb. Their behaviour at this age is more out of frustration or seeing someone else act like this and thinking it is acceptable behaviour. They will continue to do it if your child care provider isn't handing out appropriate consequences for them.

Explain again to your child care provider that you are not happy how they have dealt with the situation and maybe say what behaviour policies you would like to be enforced. Also ask for the policy, read it thoroughly and I bet you anything this carer did not follow the nursery procedures in this case!

The parent/carer of the child who bit your child should also be informed and made fully aware as to what their child has done to your son.

All children have a right to grow and learn at their own pace, and be respected as individuals. Above anyone else day care settings should know this and embrace this. Make your voice heard over this incident!

Valerie - posted on 05/16/2010

i would remove your child from that day care and report them to licensing for encouraging hitting...did you have your baby checked by a doctor after being bitten? human bites can be dangerous...that child care provider is totally off the mark and if your child is not fitting in it is not a good fit...trust me and get your child out and report this provider...

Dr. Norman E. Hoffman, highly regarded psychotherapist, board-certified mental health counselor, and author of Bad Children Can Happen to Good Parents, provides a sound explanation for the reasons children bite:



“Young children may bite due to frustration, anger, or in an attempt to gain control over another child. The young child may also be feeling powerless or frightened, or he/she may just be overtired”.



Dr. Hoffman also says that in some cases, the child may be making an inappropriate bid for attention from the child care provider, the parents, or from another child.



If the skin is broken, though, it's a different story. The human mouth is full of bacteria, and the risk of infection is 10 to 15 percent. Serious bites to the face, hands, or genitals can be especially dangerous.



If your toddler has been bitten and the skin isn't broken, simply wash the area with mild soap and water.



If the skin is broken, wash — but don't scrub — the wound with mild soap and running water for three to five minutes, then cover it with a clean bandage. If the wound is bleeding, apply pressure with a clean, dry cloth and elevate the area if possible.



If the skin is broken, you'll need to take your toddler to see his doctor, who will clean and examine the wound. She'll also give you directions for keeping the wound clean.



find a day cafre that shares your philosophies and where your child fits in...all the best