Did going back to work help you feel better?

Sara - posted on 07/05/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am a FTM to a 10 week old baby and will be on maternity leave for another 3 weeks. I have come to realize that I don't have what it takes to be a SAHM and counting the days till I go back to work. I feel terrible for feeling this way - like I'm inadequate for not wanting to be home with my baby. I feel like I have classic PPD symptoms when I'm stuck at home all day with her. I used to have a professional full time career and now I find my self at home all day long either nursing, changing diapers, or trying to put a fussy baby to sleep. On the days that I do get out of the house for a little bit, I tend to feel a lot better which has led me to believe that things will get better once I return to work. I am wondering if any of you felt this way while you were on maternity leave and how you felt after you went back to work.

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Julie - posted on 07/09/2012

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I have a 2.5 and 4 year old and I work part-time 20- 30 hours per week. I am blessed to have every Monday and Friday off, but I look forward to going to work on Tuesday (ha). No one is there telling me, “I do it.” Or “I don’t wanna –insert anything here.” I know when my kids are in school full time I will want to work more hours, and with my current schedule this allows me to have both feet in the work world. Also, I think me working benefits my kids. They have a lot more activities at school then I could provide at home. Personally, I don’t want to do finger paints in my house. (ha) At the age of 2.5 and 3 both my kids recognized letters of the alphabet, would I have been spending that much time teaching them? I don’t know. Plus they are learning social skills that will benefit them in Kindergarten.

With my first child I asked if I could work 9 hour days and have every other Friday off. With my second child I asked if I could work 8 hours and have every Friday off. (Then budget cuts reduced my hours more….but I still had job.) With both requests the answer was yes. Maybe your boss will accommodate you too.

I think American’s place guilt on mothers who work. I’ve been reading the book ‘Bringing up Bebe’. It’s an American mother/author who, with her British husband, are raising their two children in France. In that culture, SHM are considered an outcast. Working mothers often go back to work within three months of birth. The children are in daycare, which fortunately, the government pays for. It’s very different from here. It’s an interesting comparison between the two cultures. I suggest checking out from the library.

I know I’m a great mother, but I know that I am a better mother because I go to work. Whatever you choose, it will be the best decision for you.

(ps….at this age it’s the best time to be at home. But if you doubt you have what it takes….wait two years until your kid can talk and test independence. Those are the days you’ll want to be at work! ha)

Susan - posted on 07/08/2012

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My mother was a SAHM and I always thought that's what moms did and what I wanted to do. When I was on maternity leave with my first, I realized I wasn't cut out for that either. I was bored and needed to get out of the house. I'm not really career driven, but I needed to feel like I accomplished something during the day. We just had our second child two weeks ago and already I'm going a little stir crazy. Some women are meant to be SAHMs and some aren't. I know clearly that I'm not. I work four days a week and stay home with my daughter (and now son) on Fridays. Even just that one day, I know it was the right decision for me to go back to work. I wouldn't be as happy if I stayed home every day and if I'm happier, my family is happier. Financially staying home isn't an option, but if it were, I wouldn't do it. You need to do what's right for you. Each person is different and you shouldn't feel guilty for how you feel.

Sue - posted on 07/06/2012

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I felt the same way!!! My sister also feels this way and has two children. I don't feel like I'm a bad parent at all. Fact is, I couldn't stay home if I wanted too. We just can't afford it. My sisters family is the same. I was getting bored at home and spending money going out to lunch & shopping just to get out of the house with my son. I think you can be a great mom weather you stay at home or go back to work. I don't feel guilty for our nanny either because I look forward to coming home and seeing my son and spending quality time with him instead of quantity time.

Natalie - posted on 07/05/2012

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you hit it on the nail when you said you felt better when you got out of the house...either with or without the baby, try to get out at least once a day, even just to go pick up a 2$ bottle of shampoo at walmart. I stayed home w/ my 2 kids until they started school, and I remember having to get out of the house everyday, or the days would just draaaaaaaaag by...I walked a lot too, went to the park, fed the ducks, joined a mommy's group. It's definitly not easy, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Now I work until they get home from school, and I miss them...but don't feel bad about wanting to go back to work early, it's different for everyone. It certainly doesn't mean you're a bad mom...many moms say working out of the home makes them better moms! But just make sure to enjoy your time w/ the baby now..I read that you are still nursing, and I would give anything to go back to that time. So sweet! Feel better, and remember that you are not alone! Now head to walmart! lol

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