do u think that u should let your baby cry to sleep

Elis - posted on 02/27/2010

Kayla, good advice, but that will not always work for all babies.

Elis - posted on 02/27/2010

YES, all of you have great answers/replies! I just gave my opinion based on my experience & I as well stated in my last reply that "ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT" I know that, that's why i said it. No one has to listen to me, but she asked the question & I gave "MY" reply. Just like the doctors say, "a baby cries to let you know when something is wrong b/c they cannot speak" Just like Karen Brett said, it hurts to hear your baby cry, but sometimes you have to do it, and I agree with that, but like i said before, "follow your instinct, you'll know if something is really wrong or if u can afford to let your baby cry. I have 3 children, 2 girls & 1 boy, so I know alittle something myself.. but thanks for your input :)

Karen - posted on 02/22/2010

So you can get sleep,[the first two nights will be hard], but try this.Give the baby pablem at last feeding. When you put the baby down for the night, just rub the back for five minutes.Then leave. Baby will cry,after 15 minutes, rub babies back again. Leave again, let baby cry longer. The worse mistake is rocking or holding the baby, because they have you trained. It hurts to hear your baby cry, but you've got to , or else you will create more problems.

Kayla - posted on 02/15/2010

i let my baby cry herself to sleep. i make sure she is fed changed and everything, after 10 mins she is asleep. but all babies are different crying will make them more tired so they will fall asleep but if it goes on for more than 15 mins pick the baby up lay the baby on the floor play for a bit and try it again.

Cynthia - posted on 02/15/2010

well,i have 4 boys and i love them with all my heart. but i learned a little at a time,it hurt me to let tommy cry cause id cry,but when chad was born i learned to letem cry,but i put a radio in the room,with a lite,really didnt have alot back then back then so i tried just to ease there pain as well as mine.id never turn them off till daylite.but then brandon was born and he taught me well there was nothin that helped him nor me,only holdin an ridin,but thats not thye answer.cameron was born nd was thequiet one which had me scared,cause hes opposite of his brothers.so at im sayin no 1 can tell you the answer its all on you andhow u want.you will live,cherish,feed,provide for your child,o therfore you and only you know how your child reacts,now remeber ur child was livin n u 4 9 months,

Elis - posted on 02/15/2010

do u think that u should let your baby cry to sleep ??
NO, I don't think you should let a baby cry him or herself to sleep!!! Not good for a baby. Letting him/her be fussy or whining isn't the same as crying or screaming; you should always try to see what or why he/she is crying, what are they trying to tell you in their language.? A cry means something is wrong, either they are wet, hungry, cold, hot, uncomfortable, gassy, or even in pain (like an ear ache) ect... So make sure that before ignoring a cry, that all these things have been considered and/or scratched off the possibility list. Plus every mom at least by the 2nd month, knows their baby at this point. So just use your instinct. All babies are different!!
In the 1st stages of life I would not recommend to let a baby cry, but once they are older, like 5-6 months and/or older it might be okay to let them cry for a minute or two (depending on the child) a mother can usually tell by the type of cry if its serious or just whining. Hope this helps.

Ashley - posted on 02/15/2010

yeahh i aee with raelene most nights that what i have to do with my son. it does help them learn to sleep on their own

Nicole - posted on 02/15/2010

Misty, you're in a hard place. I was in that place myself. My daughter is now 2 and we're still having sleep issues. Why, because she would cry when I put her down and I would pick her up and rock her to sleep and we would go through this cycle all night. Now at 2 she's used to being put to sleep by me either holding her or rocking her or patting her. So now me trying to break that, she was not having it! She would cry and cry and cry. But I had to decide and committ to not picking her up. She'll cry and cry and cry, but she will fall asleep.
I've learned that whatever habits you form with your kids, that's what they'll get used to. So as long as he is not hungry, or wet, or hurt; let him cry. He WILL fall asleep.

Carol - posted on 02/15/2010

Hi Misty,
One thing you may want to try is using a little bit of Lavender oil on the bottoms of his feet. Lavender is very soothing and calming. I have used essential oils on my grandchildren for varies things since birth. However, I only use a therapeutic grade as most oils on the market are perfume grade so be careful with that. There is also an oil blend I use that really helps calm. You are welcome to send me a message if you like.

Nisha - posted on 02/15/2010

Misty - I HATE the idea of leaving my baby to cry himself to sleep and I refused to do "controlled crying". My personal feeling is that its not controlled and the baby is cared and needs comforting. There lots of other ways to do it and I had the exact same experience as you. I was still feeding River a 11pm bottle at 10 months and this is how I wened him off and got him to sleep through;

Cut out all milk apart from morning bottle and bedtime bottle (around 7pm/8pm)

Put him down to sleep but gently half wake him 20-30 minutes before his usual waking time. If he is half asleep he should just recognise you are there - stroke his head or pat his back rythmically like your heartbeat and he will feel reassured that you are there and haven't left him. Do this as often as you need to at his usual waking times during the night.

Unfortunately you will have to go cold turkey on the middle of the night bottle. It only takes about 3-5 days but it is hard - there is no easy way aroiund it I'm afraid but the waking trick should help some during this period.

You may also find that if you sleep with a teddy or blankie of his, then when you put it in the cot with him, he will smell it and think it is you whilst he is half asleep.

I would try and pick him up much less - I would sort of hang over the cot and cuddle him in bed - very awkward and uncofortable for you but it worked for me, until he was used to staying in the cot - then justa hand stroking his head or patting his back would work.

I really feel for you - I went through the same and its hard - let me know how you go

Also try "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley - some good stuff in there too

Crystal - posted on 02/15/2010

one thing we got told was there needed to be no lights on in the room ( cover monitor light too) worked really well for us. we did the control crying with both of our kids, it was hard at first but with very time the crying got shorter and less hard for us to hear. Raelene Stchair reply is spot on, you need to do this now as it will be better for you and your child and especally your marrage/relationship. there are plenty of books and dvds about this subject or just google it. good luck you both will do great xxxx

Sarah - posted on 02/15/2010

My Advice On This. It Is Good And Heathly To Let Your Baby Cry. Feeding Him A Bottle At Ten Months Is Still Heathly And I Personally Believe In Doing That Up To A Year At Least. **I Have A Son Of My Own & Eight Sibling, In Which 6 Are Boys And I'm The Oldest, So I've Been Through This A Lot, Lol.** After Feeding Your Baby, Burping, And Rocking To Sleep, Lay The Baby Down. If The Baby Starts Crying, Do Not Pick The Baby Up Right Away. Sing To The Baby, Rub The Baby's Back To Calm The Baby And If The Baby Calms Down,Leave The Room. If The Baby Starts Crying Again, Repeat The Process A Few Times, But Give About 5-7 Mins In Between. You Can Also Try A Warm Bath Too. I Hope This Helps!!! (:

Jenny - posted on 02/14/2010

I agree with the last few posts, if the child is not hungry, not hurt and in a clean diaper, there is no reason she or he should not be able to sleep. The bath, bottle, bed routine did not work for our son... we tried that for over the recommended three nights but found a different routine that works well for him. Now he will usually sleep through the night at 2 1/2 months which is great for him and us! I think routine is the key and having a few nights of crying for no bad reason (wet diaper, hungry, etc) is a small price to pay for months/years of your child being able to put him or herself to sleep without your help!

Casey - posted on 02/14/2010

Let him cry, it will be really hard for you and you might need to shut doors etc but it is worth it. My son never cried for more than 20 minutes but my daughter could go for an hour and a half!!! so be warned it wont be easy. The other thing you could do is send your partner in to him. No communication, check he is ok and then leave him it will be hard but you can do it and won't know yourself once you have had a full nights sleep.

Linda - posted on 02/14/2010

I used to do the same thing, with my first but at about 9 months old, I got fed up with sitting up with her until she fell asleep as she used to start messing around, so one night I just put her down and she cried for about 10 minutes and then went to sleep. I did this from then on and she just cried for 3 nights but only for about 10 to 15 minutes. He will get used to it. I started with bath bottle and bed and once they are in that routine they start associating with bed. If he wakes after an hour of being put down. Pick him up, give him a cuddle and put him straight back down, don't make eye contact and just let him cry for a few minutes and he should get back to sleep soon enough. When my 2nd was born, we started doing that routine at 6 weeks and she has slept brilliant since then as she associates that with bed time and knows what to expect. Hope this works, let me know how you get on, as I know how hard it is

Heather - posted on 02/13/2010

Love him and you do, but at 10 months he is capable of sleeping through the night. Hardest thing ever for a mama is listening to there baby crying. Been there and done that and I still dislike him crying at 19 months. I never let my son cry for more that 10 minutes. I simply could not do it. After 10 minutes, I'd go in and rub his back, let him know I was there. Lots of soothing words. It worked. It took a bit (4 to 5 days) and he was sleeping through the night. I still cuddle him before bed and we rock a bit - 5 to 10 minutes then it is in his crib. It works well for us. Good luck, you will figure out in time how to make it work for you.

Iolanthe - posted on 02/13/2010

sorry to tell you this but they are right, both my boys went thru a stage of this (my daughter has always slept as an angel) as full time working mum there was no way I could carry on with the sleepless night so it was a case of giving them a kiss and rubbing their backs and then walking away. This is something that can be broken in less than a week, honest. Good luck

Liza - posted on 02/13/2010

We tried lettering our son CIO once and it was the most horrible 45 min. for all of us!! Nothing about it felt right to us. Bedtime should be a calming time. We always rock our kids for a bit (and if they fall asleep while we do that, then it's ok). It really bothers me that parents don't want to cuddle their babies too much because they dont' want them to "get used to it". For goodness sakes they are babies!! and need that bonding time and don't you like to snuggle up with your husband!?

We did our bedtime routine and then lay them in their crib and if they wake up in the process we just keep them in there and pat or just stand next to the crib until they fall asleep. We have not had a issue with them getting up in the middle of the night. We did this with out son and he is almost 3 and not a problem.

I think it gets down to parent style and what you think is right in your heart.

Linda - posted on 02/13/2010

keep loving him the way you have been. if he keeps waking up it might be because he didn`t burp enough. my younger son woke up every 3 or 4 hours, i would get up and wrap him snuggly, rock him back to sleep. i didn`t sleep a whole night through till he was at least a year old. he`s 18 now but i remember those times and loved every minute of those first few years, as stressful as they were. it`s a different kind of stress when they are teenagers. but i believe i child who knows he is loved will rarely disappoint you.

Rebecca - posted on 02/12/2010

Another interesting point of sleep is that babies need deep sleep (and lots of it) for their brains to concrete what they've learned during the day. Studies have proven that babies that dont sleep well are at risk of developing slower than babies who do. Its just that babies have sleep cycles of only 30-45 mins (compared to 60 for adults). This means you, as the adult wake up every hour, but you know how to put yourself back to sleep so you dont even remember it. babies need to learn how to do this too (although i wouldnt try until after 3 months).

Jane - posted on 02/12/2010

For me, I rocked my first child (she's 20 years old now) to sleep every night until she was almost 18 months old and then all of a sudden, she told me..."night night now" and off to bed she went and that was it for the rocking her to sleep. I loved it and it worked for me. My second (he's 16 years old now) was never one for the rocking or cuddling...when he was tired...starting literally at 7 weeks old, he would get all squirmy in my arms and I'd lay him down in his crib, and he'd go off to sleep. This is all around the putting them to bed part...I think however you want to get them off to sleep, and if it works for you, then do it.

NOW...with regards to sleeping through the night...at 10 months old, it's time to let him learn how to put himself "back" to sleep. You need to let him cry it out. This does not mean let him scream for hours on end. The best way to handle getting a baby his age to go back to sleep and teach him that it's ok is when he wakes, go in and console him...do NOT pick him up...but pat him on the back, say your mommy kind words in a soft voice and let him know you're there. Then leave and give it 10 minutes...if he's still crying, go back and do the same thing...pat him, console him and leave....and keep extending the time away. It's going to be a rough few nights but if you can manage to do this, you'll have a baby that sleeps through the night within a few days.

Melissa - posted on 02/12/2010

I think they should be able to cry themselves to sleep however I am not one that has the courage to do it ;) my husband and I have found a way around it though. my 2 month old has a routine...during the day he eats then plays then goes to bed. at his last bottle (around 10) he eats and then I sit with him for a few minutes quietly (he like to spit up if we move him to much to soon) then I rock with him until he is almost asleep, then I lay him down in his crib and leave...when we first started to do this he would wake up and cry wanting us to pick him up...we would go in his room (leave the light off) and we gave him his binky and talked softly to him until he calmed down...then we would leave again, for the first few times we went in every 5 or ten minutes...now he usually goes to sleep right away.

the biggest thing with this for it to work is consistancey...same routine if possible, if he is taking a nap and should be down for 2 hours then leave him for the 2 hours...don't pick him up unless he is histarical, just keep letting him know you are there and help him teach himself to go to sleep on his own, keep it dark and quiet when he should be sleeping (even at naptime in his room)

If this sounds like something you'd like to try I would try at nap time first to get him used to it...then work up to night time...I had to go back to work and it has been the best thing I could have done...he sleep through the night now and takes regular naps without much complaint.



good luck!

Danielle - posted on 02/12/2010

I really understand the conflict you are in. I went through a similar thing with my son, I think in some ways I felt I had to overcompensate with love because his father was not there to give him any. Eventually though, you do have to let them learn to soothe themselves. It is really hard to do at first and because your baby is older it tends to take a little longer. I think 30-45mins at first is long enough, then go in, soothe them if they aren't sleeping and let them know you are still there. Being his mom you have intuition of when enough is enough, trust your instincts. For my son it took a few weeks because I waited until he was over a year and it was hell. I remember vividly so many nights sitting in my living room crying and pacing because all I wanted to do was run in there. But then suddenly it stopped. He started going to sleep by himself and usually sleeping through the night and it was SUCH a relief! Now he is 2 1/2 and although sometimes he still wakes up and asks me to lie down with him, I just tuck him in again, give him a hug and kiss and he says goodnight and goes to sleep.

I guess all in all, don't be afraid to love your little boy, but realize that you are raising a person and he does need to learn some independance too, it will be nicer for him in the end.

Alison - posted on 02/12/2010

I was always big on rocking my girls at bedtime (I still do). But I have had much success in letting them cio during the night or if they are difficult at bedtime.
With my youngest (21 months), I will rock her and sing to her, then when she is calm, I put her in her bed. Often, she will stand up and cry. I just give her a kiss and say "I love you, goodnight!" and as soon as I close the door, she lays down in her bed and goes to sleep!
Babies/children really do test the limits.
If you ask me... Love him at bedtime (because you want to!), but he really doesn't need you during the night.
I read this article last week. You might find it interesting:
http://www.todaysparent.com/baby/sleep/a...

Patricia - posted on 02/12/2010

We haven't let her cry to sleep at any point. She is close to 18 months old and we decided that we weren't going to let her cry to sleep until she is old enough to understand what is going on. She has days where she goes to sleep in her bed, days where she doesn't and we are fine with it. I think it is whatever works for your family and your own comfort level.

Diane - posted on 02/12/2010

And when I said Oh stop that, I didn't mean it like I was telling you what to do. I was guilty of it and researched it and then stopped and now he sleep for 10 hours a night! I'm just trying to help...

Diane - posted on 02/12/2010

I have learned the most from other people's experiences and through my own 2 children and my 2 step children. My advice comes from me wanting you and your child to get more sleep. What hard is there in trying??? Sorry if I offended you Allison but I stand behind my opinions. Do your own research. They say to stop bottles way before 9 months or you will continue getting up until you do stop. Your baby is ready to sleep and so are you and then you are both better the next day with more sleep. good luck.

Allison - posted on 02/12/2010

Misty, you need to do what feels right for you and your baby. No one else knows how you feel and what your baby needs more than you.

Diane - posted on 02/12/2010

OH NO STOP THAT!!! My son is 9 months old. I did a lot of research on this. You should NOT be feeding in the night anymore. You should put him to bed early and while he is awake so he can learn to fall asleep on his own. By 9 months for sure. I have a 12 year old and my 9 month old. Try one thing during the night instead of a bottle. Put some pacifiers in the freezer, he is surely teething for one. When he wakes up, get a cold pacifier, lay him back down put it in his mouth, whisper "its alright" and cuddle the blanket around him. Try it for a few nights in a row.

Marcy - posted on 02/11/2010

Sylvia we are in the same boat. Not sure if you belong to the attachment parenting/co sleeping moms circle but its pretty awesome and inspiring.

Sylvia - posted on 02/11/2010

I would never let a baby cry itself to sleep alone. It just seems like a fundamentally bad idea to me -- they're babies. Doesn't seem like a good way to start teaching compassion and empathy. Now, a ten-month-old is different than a newborn, of course ... but ten months is still very, very little. I wouldn't do it. But that's me.

A lot of people have the idea that a baby who's used to nursing to sleep or being rocked or sleeping with mummy and daddy can't transition to daycare or a babysitter. I'm sure that's true sometimes (almost everything is true sometimes!), but it's certainly not always or even usually true. My daughter went to daycare starting at 13 months, when my mat leave ended, having never "cried it out" or slept in a crib; I was worried about how she would cope, but from the first day she was one of their champion nappers. (Until she got older, and quit napping altogether ... but she was almost 5 by then.) The baby they had the most trouble with, to nobody's surprise but the mum's, was the one whose parents insisted that she had to go to sleep on her own, just like at home, and the teachers weren't to rock her or cuddle her or even rub her back. She cried and cried, woke the other babies up, and upset the teachers (who work in the Infant Room because they like babies) and the other kids.

But really, what it comes down to for me is this: I will probably only ever have this one child, and when I'm old and I think back on her early childhood, I would rather remember nursing her to sleep, singing her lullabies, and rubbing her back -- even though it seemed endless -- than listening to her cry by herself behind a closed door "because she needed to learn to go to sleep on her own". I'll remember my daughter at age two, sitting on the floor between two stuffed animals covered in blankets, patting their backs and cooing to them to help them get to sleep. I'll remember her reacting to the sound of a baby crying by looking upset and concerned and making helpful suggestions (or going over to the baby and making funny faces to try to make it laugh), not by putting her hands over her ears and looking annoyed. I'll remember times when she had stomach flu and I sat up all night with her because she felt better sleeping sitting up than lying down, and times when I wasn't feeling well and she brought me her favourite stuffed animal or rubbed my back to help me get to sleep. I'll remember the whole family snuggling up together on cold winter nights, and my daughter saying to me after a lousy day at work, "You know what you need? You need a BIG HUG."

Obviously no one can tell you what the right thing is to do with your baby -- you're his mom, you know him best, and you know yourself and what you can and can't handle. Just trying to offer a different perspective :)

Jessica - posted on 02/11/2010

it's hard to let them cry, but i learned that sometimes you have too. i did it with my son and after a couple of tries he slept through the night. every baby is different,, but i deffintely believe you have formed a pattern with him that he is used and it might be difficult to break. but give it a shot, you can always scoop him up any way if your heart can't handle it. you are his mom and you know best. :)

Rebecca - posted on 02/11/2010

It takes 3 nights of letting them cry, then they sleep through. At 10 months babies dont need food after their dinner and bedtime bottle. You let them cry for about 10 minutes before going into them and re-settling them without food. they say dont pick them up when doing this, but i did, i just stood by the cot holding him until he calmed down and then said goodnight again and put him back. you could be doing this for an hour, but eventually the baby will go to sleep. also, make sure bedtime is the same exact time every night, and everything you do each night is exactly the same. eg dinner, bath, bottle, same bed, wrapped the same (if applicable) same everything. the baby learns the bedtime ritual and sleeps through on night 3 or 4. intervene when crying becomes hysterical. if the baby cries for 5 minutes, stops for 30 seconds and starts again, you are winning, because everytime the baby stops themselves from crying (even when they start again) they are going through a "crying down cycle" - they are winding down. they will start again, and this time cry for less time before stopping and continue like this until they are asleep. we had our baby sleeping through at 3 months - we would wake him for a late feed and resettle and stopped the late feed at 5 months and let him sleep through. If it doesnt work, check that the baby doesnt have reflux etc.

Leanne - posted on 02/11/2010

I agree with the 10 min time limit, usually she's back asleep before the 10 minutes is up, it is hard to listen to but it's better for them, after 10 min or if her cry is different than just i'm not sleepy, then I will go in and rub her back or hum to her while she is still in the crib and that usually works, if you don't let them cry at least a little they will never learn to self soothe and that's very important as they get older. Sometimes she does wake in the middle of the night but I go in and reassure her that everything is fine and it's time to go sleepsleep and she goes right back to sleep, if you are going back to work then you need your rest and should start implementing this the earlier the better, if you can't stand to hear the cry then go outside or to another room it will be okay.

Catherine - posted on 02/11/2010

I would say let him cry about 5 minutes and then love him up cuz normally when a baby falls asleep in ur arms and u lay them down then they wake up not long after laying down..... something i tried is take a shirt u wore that day lay it on his bed and when u put him down see if that helps cuz some times babies are fuss going to bed cuz they feel like mommy is leaving and not coming back but if they have ur scent then they feel like u never left......does that make sense?

Maxine - posted on 02/11/2010

I LOVE THIS SITE TOO!! its so cool to have this amazing support system... I know you have had many answers so far... but just to add my experience: with Alex I was also in the same sleepless marathon as you are until he was almost 8 months and out of desperation I tried the CIO method and although each second was torture, after 3,4 days of applying this 'method', unbelievably, his crying was reduced to 2,3 mins and eventually we'd put him down and he wouldnt cry anymore...nowadays he goes to bed no problem.... so...yes, its hard to live out those 3,4 days of hourly cryings but it does work- which means you'll have more rest and consequently have more tlc to give him and more quality of life for you and your hubby.....good luck!!!!!!!let us know how it all goes....

Misty - posted on 02/10/2010

thanks so much to all the people that resonded to my question its really nice to have so many other oppinons and i wish i new about this site earlyer what to do with my son im going to talk over with his daddy. thanks to all of you really advise seems so little but you have a really helped me

Scooby7520@netzero.net - posted on 02/10/2010

I use to be a daycare provider and I watched 5 infants. I would get them on a regular schedule by laying them down at nap time around 1:00. There was 1 child that would fuss. At first it took about 45 minutes, he cried,screamed and fussed. That lasted about 3-4 days. Once he realized I wasn't going to pick him up he knew that when he was laid down it was nap time. I think you should give it a try, just remember you will will have a harder time with it than he will.

Marcy - posted on 02/10/2010

Misty-It all depends on your parenting style. This is an issue that is brought up over and over again and we can all debate it until we are blue in the face. The truth is, eventually all children learn how to sleep. Some parents opt for the CIO method which based on what I have read is painful for awhile and then they seem to get it, there is the other extreme where parents hold their little ones, rock/nurse them to sleep and often times co-sleep and then there is the middle of the road folks who have their own special way which works for them. Oh did we mention the 8 zillion books you can buy on how to get your child to sleep? Its exhausting, confusing and often time overwhelming.

My friend once told me when you are a working mom you need to do whatever it takes to get sleep. For us, we co-slept (and still do some nights) and often times we were up a bunch during the night. I don't believe in CIO (that is my personal opinion) for any length of time. My son is 3 1/2 years old, he sleeps in his own room most nights and comes to our bed around 3-4 AM for snuggles and to finish sleeping. Its what works for us.

I think its something you need to discuss with your spouse and figure out what works best for you. Also, you may want to try and change up his daytime sleeping pattern a little and you might find that he sleeps better at night. Just a thought...good luck!

Bridget - posted on 02/10/2010

We did a modified version - I lay him down, he cried so I picked him up and he stopped immediately so I placed him back down, he cried, etc, etc. I kept doing this for about 7 times until when I placed him down he sucked his thumb and realised he wasn't going to be rocked to sleep. I only needed to do this once and from then on when I place him in his crib he talks to himself and sucks his thumb or chews on a toy (if he's teething) and after about 15mins he falls asleep. Only on a few rare occassions has he needed to cry (and usually less than 5 mins) because he was overtired and didn't know how to relax - the more I held him the tenser he got.
Some great books to check out are Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, The Sleepeasy solution and The Contented Little Baby Book. I couldn't bring myself to follow a strict "cry it out" method so I modified it so that both my son and I were comfortable and relaxed through the whole sleep training.
We started his sleep training at 5 months and since then he has slept through the night - even when he is teething or has a cold. It can be hard but both you and your little one will be much happier (and rested) in the long run. Good luck!

Melissa - posted on 02/10/2010

I think that you need to let him cry it out. Feed him some fruit and a bottle before it is his bedtime. Change his diaper and make sure that he is comfortable. Then maybe read him a story while he is finishing his bottle. Kis shim good night and put him to bed. He will cry, but nothing is wrong. he just wants you and he has to learn that he doesn't always get his way. And he needs to learn to sooth himself. It will feel likt he will be crying for hours, but really it will only be like 20 minutes. I did this once with my son and I was in the other room crying cause I hated to hear him so upset, but he never fussed. Still to this day (he is 7), he goes to bed like an angel. I never have problems putting him to bed in his own room and in his own bed. I do do one thing that I will never give up though. I lay with him for about 5 minutes or so and have our special time. he can tell me anything he wants whether it be good or bad and still feel comfortable telling me. I want him to know that he can tell me anything and will not get in trouble. But anyways, I would just let him cry it out. It may take a few times for him to understand that it is bed time and not time to play. But he will get it and you will be able to get more sleep. And if he wakes up in an hour, just peek in to make sure he is okay but do not let him see you. If he does it will be harder for him to fall back asleep cause he will want you more. But don't go in there and engage him, he will fall back asleep on his own. I hope this helps. Best of luck!!

Melissa - posted on 02/10/2010

We do 10 minutes. And he has a cry, and an "I can't take this anymore Scream". Depending on the cry we may go in right away, if he is just crying and fussing we go in after 10 minutes, but he is usually asleep again before that. If he is screaming we will go in and his pacifier will usually calm him down enough to fall back asleep. We have only had to pick him up to calm him twice since about 4 months.

Laura - posted on 02/10/2010

I wouldn't let him cry for very long, maybe 5 min. at a time. When mine cries I feel like he's feeling he's not important enough for someone to come pick him up.

Jessica - posted on 02/10/2010

I'm a big fan of the book Baby Wise. It's not for everyone but you may like to check it out.

Gloria - posted on 02/10/2010

I def understand giving it 10mins but not all children are the same. I did not sleep with my son. nor did i cuddle him as much as my daughter and he still stirs in the night calling for me. No matter what you do some children will just need to see you. and thats not a bad thing. babies toddlers and children need us they will depend on us no matter what , for safety and comfort. like i said though use caution of how much lovey you give though because they will want you to hold them allll the time lol and a year is a good time to start lessening the picking up and all that jazz. But always cuddle your children. Our world is cold enough . but the important thing to know is all children are different. Your child may need you more then her child or her child. its just like adults we are all different . do what your mothering heart tells you. if it is what your body tells you to do with your baby you should do it. confidence in your ability will build confidence in your child. They will learn to love And respect you properly

Gloria - posted on 02/10/2010

I think all babies need love and food. Dont spoil them but give them what they need. once your child hits a year and begins into the toddler stage That is when the getting used to doing things on their own should slowly begin to surface, Its sooooo important for baby to be cuddled ^_^ its good for baby and mommy . no baby should cry itself to sleep they need comfort and good reinforcement. Its so hard to be a mom and make the right descision but no child under 3 in my opinion should have to cry them selves to sleep unless they were absolutley Wrong!! cause they do act up after 1 !!! aaahh i have a 2 and 3 year old and they really know how to make you...smile lol. i hope i helped a little . Love dat baby!!!

Raelene - posted on 02/10/2010

I understand the love him up...but you need him to sleep through the night. I am a true believer in letting your kids cry themselves to sleep. I think that if you continue doing what you are doing when he's a toddler you are going to have issues with him wanting to get up and sleep with you because he needs you there in order for him to feel safe enough and comfortable enough to sleep. Its hard, to listen to your kid cry, trust me i know!!! but you have to do it. He'll be fine and he'll be better off for doing it. you need your kids to be able to calm them selves down and not rely on you to do it for them.



from day one i've let my son cry himself to sleep, i figure, if he's eaten, fresh diaper, burped, and everything is checked off the list and he's just crying because he doesn't want to sleep, then he's fine. I gave myself a time limit to let him cry before i checked on him, 10 minutes. I'd look at the clock and go do something else so i wouldn't get anxiety. and usually he was done crying and starting to sleep before the 10 minutes were up. Now he's 20 months and is a great sleeper!



also, if he's waking up an hour after you put him to bed, don't immediately rush in there, again let him cry for 10 minutes and if he doesn't calm down them maybe go in there to check on him, but if you rock him to sleep you're just going to keep having the same issue. As yourself this, if you have to get up in the morning to go to work, do you want to be getting up every night or saying up late every night fighting your son to sleep?



I have another suggestion so that you still get your cuddle lovins in, he's 10 months now so start reading to him. cuddle up in the chair and get some books, let him have a bottle while you read. that way your still "getting ready for bed", but you're not rocking him to sleep and you still get your cuddle time in.