Bradi - posted on 08/28/2010 ( 85 moms have responded )
I'm exhausted 95% of the time between work and taking care of my kids. When my husband walks in at 8pm I'm ready to collapse more often than not. You too? I love this advice given by member and Psychologist at MyWorkButterfly.com (partners with Circle of Moms)! Works for me... how 'bout you? Any other suggestions?
"Have Check-in Time. Set aside a small amount of time each night where the two of you connect, however briefly that may be.
Focus on What You Get. Think about what your husband does for you on a daily basis to make your life easier and/or more pleasant. It is easier to find the energy to engage with him when you believe that in general the relationship is a two-way street.
Go on Dates. Plan "date" times where it is just the two of you. Decide together how often is feasible and agree not to talk much about the kids. Dates can be romantic living room interludes with wine and dessert after the kids go to bed, but it's even better if you can get out of the house.
Reconnect with Former Shared Interests. Don't forget who you were as a couple in the days B.C. (Before Children). Pull out both yoga mats, critique Stephen King's latest novel together, revisit one of the hobbies or interests that filled your lives back then.
Ask For a Massage. No strings attached, but the physical closeness and the sensations create intimacy and a sense of being taken care of.
Go All the Way. Sometimes you are in the mood and have the energy to follow up. Attend to your own and your partner's sexual needs and ask for what you like.
Just Say No. When it's been a really long, really rough day and you just have nothing left to give, it's okay to say "I'm totally pooped and having a hard time focusing on you. I'll be a much better listener once I've gotten some rest. Can you hold those thoughts until tomorrow?""