Do you regret being a working mom?

Amy - posted on 05/08/2012

This is a difficult question to answer. It seemed when I stayed home with my son everyone made me feel like I should be working. Now that I work everyone says I should enjoy my time at home. Personally, I think whichever you do you will feel a little twinge towards the other side. I know with my next one (my son is 7 now) I will only be able to stay home the sick leave I have built up, and wish it could be longer. I think finding the right balance for yourself is key. For me personally I think I would need a some of both. Ideal would be a part time job and part time staying at home - but alas since money doesn't grown on trees I suppose full time will have to do. On a side note- three is a good preschool age (at least here in the states I'm not sure where your post is from) to teach them socialization, ease into a routine that is somewhat like school, and how to be away from home during those hours (not to mention early learning skills). Just do what you think is right for you and your family. Good luck whichever you decide.

Danielle - posted on 08/22/2011

No I don't regret working. I work at home and get to spend time with my baby!

Lucy - posted on 08/15/2010

No Way! I love my job.
I totally feel for anyone who has to work & would rather be home but for me my job is a big part of my life, I work with a really small team & when I took 2 years out when the kids were born I missed my working life. I took a year's leave with my son & found out I was pg with #2 when he was 6 months old, I went back to work for 2 weeks to qualify for maternity leave & then took another year off, so I went back to work when my son was just 2 & my daughter was about 10 months. I did worry when I first went back but I work 21-24 hours a week over 3 or 4 days depending on what work I have on. They have been with the same childminder since I went back to work so it is like a second family to them now 3 years later. Now they are bigger it is a bit easier as they are at school/preschool & I mostly fit my work around that
I love the fact that I have time where I don;t have to worry about them, I can concentrate on something I want to do, When I was off on leave I think I did lose my marbles a little so for me working is important for me to stay sane!

Rae - posted on 08/14/2010

The social interaction is something to consider as well. It is good for my kids to spend time with other kids at daycare, and I think it makes me a better mom to have some time away talking with adults and doing other things. Then I come back to my kids excited to see them and they are excited to see me. Balance is key, I think. It depends on how many hours you work, and the quality of the time you spend at home with your kids.

Kimberly - posted on 08/07/2010

I do. I can't stand being a working mom. However, with our financial circumstances, the decision is and was made for me. :( If we could afford it I'd stay home in a heartbeat.



However it is a very personal decision. Do you enjoy your particular career/job/line of work? Do you feel it is worth parting with your child several hours a day to go do that work? Can you afford to stay home in any way shape or form?



Good luck with your decision.



ETA- Do you like the job you're at? When I originally typed this response I had just gotten out of a very bad working experience with a psycho boss. I have very recently given birth to our second child and was at a nice job with an awesome company and awesome boss. If I can get back with that one I won't mind going back. :) HTH!

Fern - posted on 08/07/2010

No way, it's the best thing for both myself and my daughter!!

Stephanie - posted on 08/06/2010

Nope, I'm thrilled to be back to work. We worked it out so I'm only working 4 days a week (approx 32-34 hours) and my daughter's in daycare for 2 full days a week. She loves daycare and didn't even cry on the first day and I think she'd be completely bored being at home with me everyday. I'm happy that we both get that change of scenery and social interaction.

Marjorie - posted on 08/06/2010

My youngest is only 1 month old, I had to return to work two weeks after she was born. I couldnt afford to stay at home longer than that, and yes I def have guilt. I some times feel like I dont have that special bond everyone talks about with her. I feel like she's more attached to my mother, who cares for her while Im at work. Hopefully this will change with the years, after all, I work to give them a better way of life. But it sure does suck!

Lenka - posted on 08/05/2010

I have moments of regret. If she has a bad day (or worse, a bad week), I used to feel like it was becuase I was not available for her, and that the change had unsettled her. Now I don't feel that so much, and have more confidence in her resiliency. But I do miss when I come home and hear about her day, and get those pangs of wanting to have been there, wanting to have seen all that happened.

On the other hand, I know she is getting positive role modelling of mum taking responsibility, supporting the family, not having fixed traditional gender roles. She is getting more quality time with her dad than most children. And we have loads of great times - cuddles in bed in the morning, stories at night, lunch time visits to my work occassionally, great fun weekends. So when I get to the point of regret, I remind myself how lucky we really are.

E - posted on 08/05/2010

I work 35 hours a week. In my case, if I had to work any more than that I would not be happy. The 5 hours makes a huge difference believe it or not. I felt guilty for a while for working after I had my first child, but I began to see how great it was for her socially, the activities she participated in, and the things she was learning there.

Jennifer - posted on 08/05/2010

Due to being single mom I must work. My children are 4 and 7 now so its a little easier becuse I work while they attend school but i always wish i was able to do more with them and school. I get weekends off so i try to spend as much time with them on the weekends.

Varda - posted on 07/26/2010

there's no one right answer to moms doubts.
I've been working always and felt I am not enough with the kids, but as they grew up I've learned from them that they appreciate me for being a working mom. I always made it very clear though that when I am with them work is out and kept our time 100% with their needs.
I hope you'll find the right way that works for u

Krystal - posted on 05/02/2010

I would love to stay at home, and i feel so guilty that i can't. My advice is if you can afford to stay home, DO IT for your kids and for you.

Kytama - posted on 04/28/2010

I love to work, beside being a mom. I feel like it contributes to my own development. My kids go to an excellent daycare and they love it there. I think they have more fun there than 7 days at home with me not always being able to play with them, because I have to clean the house. I believe we give our kids the best by working both, have a housekeeper who cooks and cleans for us and spend the weekends having fun with our kids. And of course every night of the week.

I do have the choise, and I choose to work. But I do understand that some mothers would rather be more at home.

Keisha - posted on 04/28/2010

My sons are 4 and 2 now,and at times i did regret have to work and leave them with strangers. But i think they have adapted pretty well. Better than i thought actually, and now i no longer feel as strongly like i used to. but if we could have afforded it i may have stayed home with them for at least the 1st couple years of their life.

Brandi - posted on 04/27/2010

Yes I do. I have 3 and another on the way. I have always been a goal driven person (gotta get thru college, gotta pass the CPA exam, gotta get the next promotion...it goes on and on). It hit me after my third was born that I was missing so much of my kids life. It might be different if my profession didn't cause me to work 12 hour days 6 mths out of the year, but I finally came to the point where I realized that the promotion could wait. My kids are growing too fast and I don't want to miss out on this time with them. I have started my own business at home and am going down to part time starting on Monday! There is a partner at my firm that is always telling me the job can wait... she had the chance to stay home with her kids (her husband could support them and gave her the option to do so) and she decided to pursue her career. She really regrets it and wishes she could go back and do it all over again. I am not going to regret the time I have lost, but I am going to make up for it going forward : ).

Dusti - posted on 04/27/2010

I think in life you should have no regrets, so if you think you might regret working and you can afford to stay home you should! Soon enough she will be in school and then you could always go back to work1

Jessica - posted on 04/27/2010

My son is only 8 months old, but honestly, I would love to stay home. I definitely have mommy guilt! If I could afford it, I would probably stay out of work the first couple years, or at least cut down to part time. However, at this time that wouldn't be good for our family. I am doing what is best for him by providing for him. I don't know if I'll look back and regret working as much as I do...but I just really don't have a choice. So, in that sense, guilt is a useless emotion for me. (I tell myself this, but I still feel guilty all the time!) If my husband were to get a substantial raise and we could suddenly swing it....in a heartbeat I'd stay home w/my son!