Bradi - posted on 04/06/2011 ( 76 moms have responded )
Seems like I'm always putting myself last in the order of things- it's just who I am. Although, after listening to Dr. Robi speak at a Go Red for Women luncheon, I am inspired to! Here's what Dr. Robi (Blogger for MyWorkButterlfy.com in partnership with COM) said- let me know if it works for you?!
Nationally known Psychotherapist and Butterfly Mom, Dr. Robi Ludwig:
"When was the last time you took time out for yourself? Now, when was the last time you took some time out for yourself and didn’t feel guilty?
If you’re like me and a lot of other women, it’s the “guilt factor” that gets even the most sophisticated self-nurturer to forgo their much needed time to replenish themselves.
It’s usually starts as a powerful little voice, from somewhere deep within. It rears its ugly head every now and again to say,
“I shouldn’t be doing this.” “This is so self indulgent.” “I’m so selfish!” “I’m a really bad person.” “I should be cleaning my closets, feeding the poor, flying to Japan to help out the tsunami victims, while substituting at my kid’s school.”
Woman’s lives are filled with more responsibilities and obligations now, than ever before. It’s not uncommon for women to stretch themselves too thin and to push themselves to the breaking point.
Woman now have successful careers and family lives. People count on and rely on us, which can be very flattering, but can also be very overwhelming at times.
Face it, we’re usually far better at taking care of others than we are of ourselves, and it can get pretty darn tiring at times!!
So, what stops us from taking time out for ourselves? Why is this so hard for us as women to do?
In part, it’s because women often define themselves by how well they are able to nurture those around them. On some level we believe the more we nurture others and forget about ourselves, the more virtuous we are. Even if we know on some level, this isn’t really true; this thought pattern is a very hard pattern to break.
The problem is, this stressful pattern can have a very negative impact on us, and get far too many women to neglect their health and happiness in the process. As we know, anything that increases our stress levels can also weaken our immune system.
So what’s the answer? First we need to give up this superwoman myth, which we’re all supposed to balance all the various aspects of our lives to perfection.
Then we need to give ourselves permission to do something nice for ourselves, even if it feels really uncomfortable at first, which it might. But that’s ok!
In fact, there may always be a little part of us that feels permanently guilty when we take much-needed time out for ourselves. But, do it anyway!
Self care is important. People who are able to give this to themselves function much better in life.
Look in the mirror and own what you like about yourself.
Make time to call a girlfriend, go out for lunch, or go to that work out class.
Start small. Start with 5 minutes a day to just be alone with your thoughts.
When we give to ourselves we’re actually helping our loved ones. We become happier, healthier and less resentful of those around us.
Happy fulfilled people are more pleasurable to be around. Realize when you’re giving to yourself you’re actually making it more possible to give to others too.
You’re re-energizing your ability to give back. You’re not taking away from anyone.
Do something nice for yourself. You’ll still be a great wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.
So the next time you find yourself feeling tired or stressed out, put your care giving on hold for a bit and give yourself some of the attention, kindness, compassion, wisdom and acceptance you so easily give others.
You and everyone around you will end up “winning.”"