Does working make you a better mom?

Bradi - posted on 01/02/2010 ( 236 moms have responded )

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We've interviewed many moms at MyWorkButterfly.com who admit that working makes them a better mother and a better wife at the end of the day. Do you agree?

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Diana - posted on 01/04/2010

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I believe going to work gives me balance. Working gives me a sense of self-accomplishment and allows me to keep in touch with the real world, as well as providing great social and professional aspects. It does help that I like the people I work with, and I like the work that I do. I put my son in a well-respected daycare and preschool and I trust the teachers take very good care of him. He's also in a good learning environment with other babies his age. Of course, I miss him very much during the day, but I try to spend as much time with him as I can when I'm not work. My mom did the same for me, so she provided a perfect example for me to look up to. You will do the same for your children.

Denise - posted on 05/03/2010

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Not always sometimes work can get in the way of raising your kids it's better to have kids and be a stay at home mom for a while till the kids are old enough to be in school, then finding work would be better... in the first years of a child's life they need you to grow at learn.

Naza - posted on 01/04/2010

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I honestly think that you do not necessarily have to be a working mom in order to be a good mom/wife. It depends on how well you manage/organize your time/priorities.
As for me, I'm a balance sort of mom...being pretty good at multitasking.
And so far I did well, able to juggle up between house chores, study ( a part time student), and a good employee and the most important is the best mom to my grown up kids.yeah..sort of trying to be the role model for them as well.

Alicia - posted on 01/04/2010

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I have been on both ends and I don't really feel that if you are working you are better. It boils down to how you care for your children. What lessons you teach them as well as the ones you learn yourself.

Haley - posted on 01/03/2010

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it honestly depends on the person. on days when i am short fused irritible and the baby is giving me a hard time, yes work does help. in that its gives me a chance to miss my daughter and my husband. on the other hand on those easy days where we are all having fun and good manored, its hard to go to work and be away from them.

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Stella - posted on 04/20/2013

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It is helpful to be independent and have more choices to stay in the relationship or not, but I am not sure it makes us a better mom. In my own experience, it doesn't make me a better mom, because my husband disrespects me in front of the kids regardless my profession. My kids do not understand their mom works for their future, to help them with savings for college, etc. So, it depends how the spouse treats us.
It does give me an option, if I have to leave the relationship, to ensure my children live in a respectful environment. I don't have to depend on child support or his generosity to support my self and the kids. Preparing to be a single mom is harder without a job, and not being there for the kids during the day as a working single mom is also hard. That's my dilemma.

Ania - posted on 12/14/2011

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It doesn't make me a better mom. I've worked and I stayed home and I can say that working full time does not make me a better mom I am too stressed when I work and after work. I come home and I'm exhausted therefore I can't give enough to my child. There is always something that is not done and it frustrates me. I'm better when i work only few hours a week more for fun than money, because you can't get much working few hours a week, but I'm definately more happier, rested and less stressed

Paula - posted on 12/11/2011

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Yes I agree!!Being a working Mom and having a life outside the house helps in keeping in priority what needs to be done at home too..When I was out of work and hubby would return from office I would be grumpy and hard to get along..and he begged me to go back to work because I was better company when he came home!!Go figure...:) My children went to school with me as I am a teacher so I was never far away from them..so we do what works..

Ayesha - posted on 12/10/2011

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Hi Bradi. No i disagree. I believe that a working mom just makes a more 'affordable' and independent mom. Meaning she's financially apt. Now, when she begins working, the child eventually begins to get left behind because depending on the nature of the job, the demands increase. Then u have the mothers that begin to appreciate themselves more and want more and greed settles in. You'r now buying your child(ren)'s love because you're no longer there for them. No a working mom is not a good idea unless its a job that includes bring the child with you. Like a daycare center or opening one in your home.

Now as far as a better wife, I disagree with that also. Why, because women start to take that 'I don't need you', develop this 'I have my own life to live now' attitude, once they start making their own money, which in turns starts the picking, bickering, and unresolved issues because the husband is feeling left out because the wife is now full of herself because she's getting her life back and being neglectful towards her family. Do you agree with both paragraphs, Bradi?

Traci - posted on 12/05/2011

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As a working mom, I truly believe that I am a more sane person and mother when I work. I work at a hospital on their Neuro Unit and we have plenty of "bad days" at my job. However, no matter what I go thru at work, it makes me appreciate my family so much more. I work full time 12 hour straight nights. So at the end of my stretch I am tired, exhausted, but I work 3 days every week every third weekend. I get stretches off that me and my kids have so much fun together we play we sing we dance we live. I have learned to care less about what my house looks like and more about my family being happy. When I am gone at work, I miss my kids and hubby. So when I get home, no matter how tired I am, I make the best of the time I have with them. And I am fortunate enough to have family (my parents and my grandmother) who watch my kids while I am working and the hubby is working. My kids love their quality time with their grandparents but it also makes them appreciate their time with mom more too. :) I think if you have a good system it can be beneficial. If you don't, it can be detrimental.

Varda - posted on 07/15/2010

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being a mother for 3 and working all that time I can say very clear that for me it works, I feel better mom and most of it is because I am a working women and an example for my kids for how to run my life and family

Zeenat - posted on 07/10/2010

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no doubt working makes us feel better as a woman as an individual so definitely we'll be a better mum .

Ohoud - posted on 07/10/2010

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I agree with you completely GADAH SABRI

"I think working is allowing you 2 B with yourself, doing things 4 u,

but actually it overloads you and you'll be stressed and loosing your temper faster at home and with your kids, so working has an opposite actions, but it didn't make me a better mom. "

Jecinter - posted on 06/17/2010

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Yes it does.....coz you are able to make independent decisions for your baby and even family. It also makes you a better a wife coz you get to have a life outside of the house and so you do not feel closed in the same environment.

Jackie - posted on 06/16/2010

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Thats true. it gives me the feeling that I have given something to my family as well as given something to myself.

Lily - posted on 06/12/2010

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I don't know that working makes me a better mom, God knows I would love to spend more time with my daughter. However, if I had the option of staying home, I would probably work even if it was part time, for the sake of a social life, and also my sanity. After all, the best hugs and kisses from my daughter, I get when she hasn't seen my in a couple of hours!

Mattisha - posted on 06/12/2010

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yes. After a long day at work whether good or bad, I cannot wait to come home to my family. I have this sudden "new" type of energy to for my family. I love it!

Christiana - posted on 06/11/2010

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yes i also agree as working mums give price to QUALITY TIME...and at the end of the day its quality nor quantity that counts...although it is very hard when you works 24 h/7 but the point is to get to know ur child.,,its needs and work through growing up together......i find that through time my child and i ( now 2 1/2 ) grow together .....quality is my magic word!

Elizabeth - posted on 06/11/2010

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when your a working mum you have a purpose you look after yourself as well as your family come on can you imsgine vegitating at home.

Jennifer - posted on 06/10/2010

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I think that working helps both you and your child grow. Your child will grow stronger bonds with whomever is taking care of them, whether it be your childs father, or a relative, or a daycare worker. Your child will learn how to cope with seperation, sharing (if in a center), and even making friends.
As for being a better wife, I would say yes also. Otherwise your husband may feel like he is having to do all the work and having to be the 'slave laborer'. Guys just don't really get how challenging it is being a mother. hehe.

Ehvah - posted on 06/10/2010

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YES.. very much! because you have proven your worth. Especially if you're excelling on your field.

Monique - posted on 06/03/2010

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I dont think it makes you a better mother, going to work and leaving your children in the care of someone else doesnt make you a better mother I think it just makes you feel better about yourself it leaves a good example for children but it also leaves less time for them. I think having a job is a good for the sanity of mums because it gives balance in life, but I dont think it makes us better, spending as much time with the children is what makes us better.

Bethanie - posted on 06/03/2010

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I don't think I do. I work, mainly because I'm a single mom and have no choice. While I do feel good about providing for us, at the end of the day I'm tired, have less patience and little time to actually spend doing anything fun with my daughter. Usually, I get home, make dinner, eat dinner with her, give her a bath, read her a story and get to snuggle her for a while after to help her fall asleep. I would love to be able to spend more quality time with her instead, be able to volunteer at her school, pick her up and drop her off, or even just meet her at a bus stop after school, but I can't because I'm always at work.

Maureen - posted on 06/03/2010

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i have to work but i also enjoy doing the job i do.......i also think its good that my children see at least one of their parents is working.. so that they dont grow up relying on benifits or state handouts... i think it sets an example for my children to see at least one person working.........

Meagan - posted on 06/03/2010

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Yes, I believe that I set a good example for both of my children by working. It also makes me appreciate the time I have with them when I am home because I know about how much time I am sacrificing by being at work.
I work to provide for my family and allow us to do things we enjoy together. It brings meaning to my life to both do something that I love as well as come home to people that I love. I believe it is also going to instill a solid work ethic in my children..that you are entitled nothing in this life, the things worth doing are worth giving your all and the things you will treasure most in your life are usually not "things" at all. They will be the things you work the hardest to get and are the hardest to keep. They are, by far, worth the most effort!

Kimberly - posted on 06/01/2010

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i agree because you need to have time for urself even tough u r working us mothers need to be away from r kids for a bit. But once we see r babies we r so happy to see them. also u r not stuck at the house cause i get frustrated being home all the time.

Jolyn - posted on 05/31/2010

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I don't know if it makes us better moms just better at juggling time! I wish I could be a stay home mom! :(

Yasmine - posted on 05/31/2010

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i work a full time job and also a mom but i think the best case would be a part time job that will give the women time to take care and have sometime with her children and not going back home tiered and fall asleep

Shayla - posted on 05/31/2010

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I agree. I'm an active duty member of the Air Force and i know that when I come home at the end of the day after working my butt off that my daughter will have somebody to look up to and admire. Also my husband has more appreciation for me bcause I work so hard to support our family where as before I dont feel I was as appreciated. I love being a working mom and having dual purposes in life. Sure it may be nice being a stay at home mom and spending every waking moment with your child, but as a working mother you are able to appreciate time with your family more and they are able to appreciate you more.

Krystin - posted on 05/21/2010

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I think I am a better wife and mother because I work, but i would hate to generalize on this issue. I am sure there are many mothers who are at their best being home with their kids. In fact i don't know why i am posting I hate this argument. i think a women needs to choose what is best for their situation, their family and themselves. neither better then the other.

Joyce - posted on 05/13/2010

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yes, definitely working is making you a better mom, because you work not only for self but it is because for your children... while working you can also realize things that may be applicable to your daily life.. because while working you are learning..

Mandy - posted on 05/12/2010

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Im not sure if it makes you a "better" mum but having a good role model and someone with ambition guiding you through life is obviously a good thing for any child to have.

Lorna - posted on 05/12/2010

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I am a single mum of a 3yr yr old boy and feel so so guilty for going to work but i do feel it gives us routine in life and will help when its time for school and show him we can have alife when we work as he gets older xxxxxx so as hard as it his to leave my little man i feel its a good thing xx

Zita - posted on 05/11/2010

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Personal experience, I would say it makes me function better than not working during my spare time :-). Having some other thing to do besides home, makes me so "independent", I was thinking also to completely stop working when me and my husband decided to have a child, and I did but after a year, my husband noticed that I am "losing" my identity, so we decided that I work again, and yes it give me a sense of freedom and brought myself again, and honestly my husband told me that he found peace when I started working again, plus my son loves to ask me every day (when I get home) how's my work :-)...I feel like everyone has peace about it, and it gives less stress at home :-)

Jennifer - posted on 05/06/2010

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i personally think it does not make u a better mom verse those who dont work...i believe that if u have children u should work part time til your kids are in school cuz that one on one time is important for ur lil ones and some moms who leave there toddlers or even infants in daycare for 8-15hrs a day and then go get babysitters on the weekends so they can go out and do stuff it is so horrible to see i think if u are a workaholic then maybe u shouldnt have kids if ur just going to let the daycare lady raise them...sorry if i offending any one i know some one that does this and it just irratates me...I understand it say if u cant afford to stay home cuz in this day most of the time both husband and wife have to work to get by but for those who can stay home or work part time and instead go get full time jobs...Y dont u want to be with ur kids as much as u can i mean specially when they are young cuz before u know it they will be graduating high school and moving out...will u regret not spending time with them then when its to late???

Lisa - posted on 05/05/2010

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Of course, without work, I think I would be insane, cooking, driving them to activities, cleaning, laudary, bathing, and having screaming matches. Not ideal for anybody if I am a full time stay-at-home. I support those moms who stay at home but working makes me a better person. Not to mention fiancial stability and freedom. And to connect with the rest of the world. And a piece of mind, that my kids are enjoying my company when I be with them. Oh yeah, work satisfaction and adult communication is where you don't get at home.

Latasha - posted on 05/03/2010

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no because you are away from your kid numerous hours a day and may come home to your LO all slum and just because you provide for them doesn't not make you a mom! motherhood is much more than that children need sto be lover played with and supported to show you care.

Denise - posted on 05/03/2010

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I haven't worked for almost 6 years now i had my first daughter in 2005, before i got pregnant i had an amazing job i paid good money, then came motherhood.. being a mom was the best thing i ever did, now i have 3.. 2 girls and a boy and it's the best job i could ever ask for. I wake up to my kids every morning knowing i did the right thing by staying home and not working (I'm not saying if you do go to work your a bad mom i'm just saying that is the best thing i could have done for myself and my sanity)

Shelly - posted on 05/02/2010

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I believe it depends on the person. I have a very good friend who stays at home with her kids and has built a great group of other "non-working" friends with same age children. However, I need to be at work to do a good job being a mom. It gives me adult time so that when I am done working, I can be the mother that both of my children deserve.

Nicole - posted on 05/02/2010

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yes. it gives me a time out from the demands of home life and i am so much more patient when i get home, and i have much more fun with the kids.

Kellye - posted on 05/01/2010

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ok i have a question. what about moms who work 2nd or 3rd shifts? i work from 2:30pm to 10:30pm. i love to work and i would go crazy if i couldnt. during the mornings i spend time with my kids but thats bc they arent in school yet. i used to stay at home all the time i felt frustrated and wearing and caught myself snapping at everyone. so i agree with working makes u a better mom. working first shift at my job is not an option. i would be put in a completely different department. then i would have to work 12 hours a day instead of 8.

Christina - posted on 04/28/2010

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I am a full-time working mum and it was a choice i had made even before having my son. I definitely agree that it has made me a better mum (i hope so!!)...even with the usual challenges which come with desperately trying to balance, the home, kid, husband and work! All in all, i think it's setting a good example for my child. I want my son to grow up knowing that women have choices in life and should be free to make that choice.

Jessica - posted on 04/28/2010

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I completely agree...Its makes you value the time you get with your family more and its great to collaborate with other adults on ideas and stuff that comes up throughout life. It also shows work ethic to your children. It makes you a better wife as well because you are both contribution to the household overall as opposed to just the housework. Also ,for me atleast, work gives me the energy I need to keep up with my lil one and all the housework...Maternity leave was hell for me...I was bored outta my mind and would just sit there for hours...Work is the way to go :)

Shruti - posted on 04/28/2010

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Yes definately.. I think being a working mom makes me a much better mum. I make sure i spend quality time with my son and my family. My job is an extension of me so makes me a more independent person. The independence and the social skills naturally flow to my son. Also stepping out in to the world keeps me up to date with the best things for my son.

Jennifer - posted on 04/27/2010

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For me personally, working did not make me a better mom. For all of the early years of my kids' life I wasn't around much, the job demanded too much of my time. On the other hand I could hardly stand staying home the 6 weeks after giving birth. So now I am at home while job searching, my kids are older and out quality time is so much better.
So, working or not, we are better moms when we are being moms, not the person who is still working after they get home.....leave work at work! Children understand when parents need/like to work....as long as they aren't made to feel that work comes first....which was my mistake all those years.

Grace - posted on 04/27/2010

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I think its relative to the personality of the person concerned- it boils down to one's take, management skills and aims. Some mothers are very content in staying at home, managing the home and all the economics and affairs of their family that they feel this in effect is a full-time rewarding job from which they get joy out of. Some mothers aim for a non-domestic professional lifestyle from which they feel balanced and get great joy. At the end of the day, to me, it all boils down to one's ability to know who they are and what they want out of their lives. I have been a working mom out of necessity predominantly but have been blessed in the sense that I enjoy the work that I do and have a very supportive network of work colleagues. I do not feel however it has left me enough time to spend with my children at certain times of their lives. In effect I feel I have not given them the emotional/relationship support, albeit I've given them professional aspirations (if not anxieties!) on attaining similar if not higher goals in their own professional lives.

Clothes For - posted on 04/25/2010

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Thank you for your comment. I agree with you that once you work after staying home you realize that you stay more organized and on track when you work outside the home.
Best Regards

Tina - posted on 04/25/2010

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absolutley! I've been on both ends working and not working. when i get outa the house my life and family life is way better!

Clothes For - posted on 04/25/2010

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For sure! A woman doesn't waste as much time and will get more housework done when she does work because you just can't put things off. Housework will just keep piling up.



A woman takes better care of herself when she works, finding time to keep up with hair style and nails appointments and keep the body in better shape. When a woman doesn't work she tends to stop taking care of herself. Not getting dressed up during the day and being in a more relaxed mode tends towards wearing old clothes and and not combing the hair or putting on make-up. Even if you only work part-time it will get you out of the house and make you feel more like a more well rounded person which will allow you to be a better wife, mother, and person.



There are many wonder women out there that are able to stay home, play tennis, go to the gym while the maid cleans their houses and starts the family dinner and for them not working makes them a better mom for sure.

Eileen - posted on 04/23/2010

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YES! woking outside the house relieves stress and make some money at same time. I 'm lucky to work partime and be able to be part of my child development

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