Feeling Guilty

Jennifer - posted on 11/27/2010

I feel your pain....my youngest could only breast feed after a few months! I couldn't pump anything....if I did I would have to pump a couple times a day just to get milk that would feed him for a meal or a night feeding....it was exhausting! Dont feel bad that you are using natural remedies to help with milk production....I did and it helps take the stress of not being able to give your baby what he or she needs. As for working from home I have been doing it for 4 years and in the past year found a company that has supported my belief of working at home and saving money. If your interested in learning about what I do from home, message me and we can talk more about it. I wish you blessing in your search for breasting feeding issues and working from home.
Jennifer

Kelly - posted on 11/27/2010

I breast feed my son for the first two months then it was time for me to go back to work. The first two weeks are the most important because of the collostrum. Have you thought about getting in touch with your local MaryKay rep. you can make a good deal of money selling MaryKay and you can set your own schedule!

Raquel - posted on 11/23/2010

Thank you everyone for your support! I have come to terms with my milk supply going down. I've decided that I will not continue drinking the tea. I want to do things right in my mind. She just started her rice cereal and she enjoys it just as my as breast milk. So I guess I have found a good alternative for her Knowing that she enjoys it so much makes me feel better about my decision.

My mom decided that she will babysit for a while longer. Hopefully long enough so that we can both find better paying jobs.

Again, thank you all so much :)

Tah - posted on 11/20/2010

also i worked and BF, most jobs will understand and allow you to pump at work.

Tah - posted on 11/20/2010

I know that alot of moms want to stay home, but if it isnt possible right now then it just isn't. You have to think about the fact that it is for your child and to help your husband from having to work harder and longer and then he can spend time with the baby also which is crucial as well and i think sometimes some moms,( not saying you) get so wrapped up in their views or dream of staying home, they miss that a little or feel guilty when things aren't perfect. Just pray about it, look for something that will allow the most time with your child while still being able to support her and help out financially.

Non - posted on 11/20/2010

Hi, sorry i don't have any advice on how to make a steady income from home but what i can tell you is that you are working for you baby to have a comfortable life and have all the requirement of life. As you work and the bad feeling gets to you, remember you are doing it for your baby. As for milk supliment, drink alot of fliuds and green vegtables, it works for me.

Anika - posted on 11/19/2010

My daughter is also 5 months old, and I went back to work when she was a little over 2 months. It's hard. I also started a new job just 6 weeks ago that pays a lot more and has a lot longer hours. I'm really torn about it. As for the guilt, I think you just have to acknowledge the guilt and work through it (easier said than done). I learned with my first that I will always feel guilty about something, so I just accepted it and I do the best I can do. I enjoy the time I have with her.

Miranda - posted on 11/19/2010

Don't feel guilty because you had to drink the tea to help promote milk production, I had to do it to. There is nothing bad in the tea, it is all plant based and there is no caffiene in it. I noticed whenever I was stressed out or didn't drink enough fluids that my supply would get low.
I understand that you are stressed out about your income, and wanting to work from home. I work part time out of the home and I would spend every break pumping. I was alone, eating one handed and pumping for a year! It is hard work, but you can do it. I have never supplemented my child, and he still nurses in the mornings for a little bit, he will be 2 in February. If you truly want to continue to breast feed, go for it. It can be done.

Rahseena - posted on 11/19/2010

Stop beating yourself up!! You have ZERO control over how your body operates when it comes to milk production. The fact that you are willing to try it (so many quit after less than 5 feedings) shows you are a great mom. I nursed my twins, and I had to supplement with formula. I wanted to nurse them exclusively, but I was just happy that I had an alternative. So, try to see the glass as half full. Someone told me that underwire bras and not getting enough water impede milk production. Not sure if that applies to you though. I know that once my twins started eating cereal and baby food (around month 5), my milk went down more b/c the demand went down. Hang in there! You're a super mom!

Miranda - posted on 11/19/2010

Don't feel guilty! I went thru the same thing recently & i just weaned my daughter this past week off the boob. I am a full time working mom, my husband works full time and our daughter is in daycare everyday. :( Weaning her broke my heart but she's fine. She has always taken a bottle like a champ (she's 8 months now) and when my milk supply started to drop (last month), I nursed her when I could & pumped what would come out but what I figured out is that it's a totally natural progression in her growing up. My husband & I need to have 2 incomes coming in as well and one of us being a stay at home parent was just not an option.

I know it's hard but your baby will still adore you whether or not you are a stay at home mom or if you have to work full time - formula or breastmilk - she's love you more than anything else in the world. You're doing great!! keep it up momma :)

Judy - posted on 11/19/2010

The first few weeks are the most important for breast feeding. That is when the majority of antibodies and other important nutrients for infants is passes on. If she is 5 months old, you have met the most critical needs. You need to give yourself permission to provide more for your daughter in some areas, (in this case financially) without feeling guilty that it may mean reducing something else in her life, whether it is more breast milk or something else. All of life is a compromise. The old prayer, "Give me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the Strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".... I think that applies to soooo many parenting moments. Give yourself some serenity.

Maggie - posted on 11/19/2010

I was only able to take the 12 weeks FMLA leave each time I had a child. They both turned out GREAT, though with what breast milk I gave them. Don't stop breastfeeding because of guilt! Some is better than none and if it takes tea then that's OK! I ended up pumping for hours for my first son because he wasn't able to latch until about 3 months.
Every person is different and you work with what you've got. I would have LOVED to stay home with my boys but it just wans't possible. We did what we had to do, which was suppliment breastmilk with formula. It's not going to mess your child up or cause them horrible problems. You're doing fine! Having trouble with breastfeeding is nothing to feel guilty about, having to work is nothing to feel guilty about. Think about the positive aspects - you get a break (I always felt refreshed after some adult conversation), the baby gets to be around other people, you have that second income, ...add more! You don't have to be a SAHM to be a GREAT mom!

Heather - posted on 11/17/2010

I had the same problem with lower supply when my son turned 4 months old. I felt guilty as well, however, my mother offered some great advice (echoing the what the other Mothers have already stated) "Some is better than none, give what you can and remember, as a mother, you will always need to be flexible and willing to adapt to the changes in your child, yourself and your life". Once I was able to accept that I'd have to supplement with formula, I was at peace with it and my milk supply increased again.
The stress of the low milk supply was making it worse. Once I let up on myself, I was able to pump more. I also increased the amount of fluids I was taking in and increased the number of times I pumped during the day, even if I had just nursed my son, I would pump for another 10 minutes to get that extra stimulation.

Do what you can for your daughter and yourself and remember that whatever you can do, you are giving her your best.

Gabrielle - posted on 11/17/2010

I had trouble pumping after I went back to work when my daughter was 4 months old. I stopped having milk when she was about 7 months old, and we put her on formula. She's 4 now, and far ahead in mental development, very agile and flexible, and just amazing. I had hoped to provide her with milk longer, but I'm also glad I was able to give her some for as long as I did. I think you've done great by breastfeeding this far and you did great by looking into options to continue being able to do that. Please don't feel bad about using the tea, or needing to use formula to supplement if you need to do that, or for working. You're being a great mom, doing the best you can with the options that are right for you.

Raquel - posted on 11/12/2010

I did think about daycare, but I live in an apartment. All I have is a high school diploma. I am planning on going back to school to get a Bachelor's in Administration and Finance. I just put out a few applications for places that want people that are available to work until 2 AM. I'll get little sleep, but at least I'll be home with her all day until my husband gets home and then nap when she naps. Hopefully I hear back from them soon. My babysitter (my mom) just told me she would watch her anymore. That's a whole different set of drama though...

Natalie - posted on 11/12/2010

Have you thought about trying to work from home? Maybe a home daycare, tax collector, accountant, online teacher, or a hair dresser. There are many different options in that regard depending on your education level and skill set. Good luck!

Raquel - posted on 11/11/2010

Thanks everyone. I know that formula isn't bad, but it was a goal of mine to bf exclusively. I was able to the first 2 months that I was at home with her, but since I have started working, she has one bottle of expressed milk while I'm at work and then I nurse her when I get home. Which is usually once or twice before she goes to bed for the night.... I think I may just need a day to regroup. Working full time and having no help with the little one at home is getting to be a bit much for me lately. We'll see what happens I suppose.

Annette - posted on 11/09/2010

first of all: don't feel guilty!!! you're doing as much as you can. When I had my twins, I tried to bf them exclusively, but I got hospitalized for a few days and even though I was pumping, they had to be given formula in between, and after a few months, I had the impression that the milk was not enough for both - at least for the ever-hungry boy - so, after consulting with the pediatrician and the midwife, we all agreed, a bottle in the night would not hurt. So they got a bottle each every night before I went to bed, and - lucky me - they started to sleep through the nights :o)
The main thing is not to get stressed or to be perfect. Every mom and child find their own best way of cooperating :o) By the way, my twins are in no way less healthy than my firstborn who got only bf-milk during the first 6 months.

JohnCourtney - posted on 11/08/2010

Your milk suppy works on a call demand system. Like you may think if you r breast pumping too you r depleting her of milk when u really aren't . THe more that u take out the more ur body will make. It will take a few days or so to have ur production of milk up but it will work. When i went bk to work my milk felt like it was going down too. So i started reading up on it and i found out that when i would breast pump on the opposite breast my daughter would be eating on during my home time increases the milk making hormon in ur body by double so my milk increased in amount. I was able to pump while she ate( made it so much easier to get milk to drop) and i started to pump once or twice while i was at work . I would used 1/2 or so of my lunch break and go to the bathroom w/ my hand held manual breast pump and pump for about 15-20 mins. 1/2 on one side and 1/2 on the other. I found after a month or so i was able to pull out about 4-6 ounces at work. It def helped w/ making more milk so she could have it dureing evening when i worked. I would also get up in the middle of the night and pump too if i was running low. I then ended up w/ extras i would freeze for back up . If you ahve any other Q's ask me. My little girl is now 1 yr old and we r transitioning to whole milk now. She onlyBF once or twice a day :) GOOD LUCK!

Amanda - posted on 11/08/2010

A little Formula doesn't hurt. When my daughter 15 years ago was only a month old we were hospitalized and I could breast feed as much, so formula was introduced. In the end it worked out that she has one formula bottle to every other feeding and she is a healthy 15 year old now. And she wasn't a sick infant, toddler, child or pre-teen. She has always been healthy.

Raquel - posted on 11/07/2010

Thanks for the support. I have thought of working later shifts. That would help my milk production and I'd be able to watch her all day. The only downer is that I would get very little sleep. She's sleeping all night now, so I'm able to get a decent amount of sleep before I go to work in the mornings.

I have been thinking about ending breastfeeding all together after she turns 6 months.... I'm not sure yet though. We'll see I guess. Hopefully, I'll be able to find something to do from home by then so I don't have to worry about it.

Julie - posted on 11/07/2010

Any mother that is providing for her baby the very best she can with a pure heart and good intentions should not feel guilty. you did not smoke crack or take illegal drugs... please do not stress your body over this...Babies come when your heart is ready..sometimes the wallet isn't..but it will work.. Annnnd if the breast feeding doesn't work out..you have given your five months of the best you had to give! That is better than nothing... You are doing great!!! Your baby is lucky to have you!

Donna - posted on 11/07/2010

i got nothing, i know your daughter is still little and all but have you thought about working an overnight shirt or even late evening shift like 7p-1a something like that

Eliz - posted on 11/07/2010

I don't have any ideas about working from home but want to give you a little support. I was able to breast feed my son for 6 months without introducing formula and from 6 months to 9 months old he had both breast milk and formula, then straight formula til he turned a year old and could have regular milk. I think its great if a baby gets at least a couple months worth of breast milk because the first bit of breast milk is what has all the antibodies that boost imune systems. After that it isn't as neccessary though I would have perfered to have breast fed til he was a year it wasn't in the cards. I don't feel guilty because I gave my son my best despite needing to work away from home. You have so far given your son 5 months of the best milk possible and should be greatful for being able to accomplish that while working. Also the tea is not harmful to your baby. I wouldn't feel guilty for trying an herbal way to increase milk production. I wish you the best.