first birthday, do you go all out or just go intimate small family thing

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Alavisi - posted on 02/03/2014

20

7

1

Remember who you are trying to impress? Your child or the other adults??? When you think about that you will have a better perspective. I've had expensive large 1st birthday parties, and then I came down to reality and had a smaller, more affordable special 1st birthday party. The best one was the smaller and intimate. I was calm, everything was in order- I was able to enjoy myself,and I took video and picture to remember for years to come. For my oldest 1st birthday, I was running around like a madwoman trying to make sure everyone ELSE was ok. And the worst part of it all was that none of those selfish ____ took photos for me!!! I only got photos at the very end when I realized. Invite the people who are most special to your 1 year old, grandparents, babysitter, etc. People who have actually invested some time with them over the year. That is what makes it special.

Lisa - posted on 05/09/2010

15

20

1

I loved having family over to celebrate birthdays until my children were old enough to appreciate theme parties. A zoo with a picnic area is a great place for toddlers.

[deleted account]

We went all out with just the family. I did invite a few friends that had kids. But most of the people there was related to her. The cake, banner, and such we went all out!

[deleted account]

The best advice I ever received is to invite the number of guests as the age-to-be of the child. So, for your son, one other child. Of course, there will need to be grandma's and grandpa's, but keep it small. Too much is too tiring for the one year old and he'll get cranky and it won't be a fun time at all.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

133 Comments

View replies by

Sally - posted on 02/05/2013

961

14

8

The baby won't care. Just don't have it during nap time or it will be unpleasant for everyone.

Tania - posted on 02/05/2013

9

0

0

My son is now 4. But, for his first birthday, we lived in a condo, so I had it in another city and my in laws house. We just had family and close friends. We had about 12 people there and 3 kids. I made a car cake for him and bought one for the guests. He ended up sleeping in the afternoon, after the cake and it was just the adults sitting and talking. We had a nice time. I don't have a lot of family. My mom lives in Germany. My dad was with us and I only have my sister. My husband is a Polish immigrant with his parents and so everyone else is in Poland on his side, it is just his mom, dad and sister in Canada.
Well, now my daughter will be one in a month and I will still have it smaller. Partly because times have changed and you do what you can. My dad died last year. My friends that came to my son't birthday only had one child and now both families that were there are on there 4th and 5th child. So, for my daughter, it will be my sister, brother in law, nephew and my husband's parents and that is it, 6 adults, 3 kids. I will also make a cake for her. I made a cake for my nephew as well, a guitar cake and planned his 2 birthday just in December as well. So, I will wait until my daughter is 3. Although, I feel a bit guilty because my son has had a small party between 12 and 20 people always. So, even for his 5th birthday, I may just ask one other family and go out somewhere.

Andrea - posted on 06/04/2010

2

9

0

I am having to go out of town next week for three days I have already cried and I know I will be a mess come next week. Words of encoragement from the moms who have to travel and leave their babies. This will be first time for be to be away from my twin babies for a night. TEAR TEAR.......

Celia - posted on 06/04/2010

13

10

0

I had a huge birthday party for my daughter's first birthday. I rented a room at a really nice community center, put up decorations, invited 100+ people, served pizza and cake - it was beautiful! And I HATED IT! It was exactly what I wanted but I couldn't enjoy any of it. I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off and I was exhausted afterward. I wish we would've stayed home.

Catherine - posted on 05/30/2010

1

1

0

It depends on your budget... in my case, we went all out because it was a double celebration (her birthday and christening).

ALEXIA - posted on 05/30/2010

88

11

9

I say something small..i just got done throwing a huge party for my 3 yo and my 1 yo combined. I spent so much money and hardly remember it bc i was so darn busy:(

Angela - posted on 05/29/2010

10

9

0

Yes I go all out! With my daughter she had two cakes and a whole lot of people! It was great and I am going all out for my son's birthday too!

Marie - posted on 05/27/2010

2

9

0

I wanna thank everyone too for the advice cuz I was curious as to what to do since i'm a first time mom.

Danielle - posted on 05/25/2010

27

14

0

The 1st birthday isnt for the child as much as it is for the parents. so either way it doesn't really matter. we did it big, but i also only invited close friends and family. no one the child didn't already know.

Stephanie - posted on 05/25/2010

3

7

1

i, personally, wont spend hundres of dollars or anything, but it is a big deal, chance of sids is pretty much gone by the end of the first year

Shiena - posted on 05/25/2010

3

9

0

We hardly did any for my girl, but we had afternoon tea with family. Good thing was My mum was there from overseas, too. I baked chocolate muffins, and decolated with yoghurt and tin fruits especially for her. (Normally, I don't give her any chocolate, though.) No BD present, except her half sister bought her pretty stretch&grow.

Brittany - posted on 05/24/2010

2

44

0

I personally believe in going all out! Its a celebration for you knowing you've made it past all the scary things that can take your child from you as an infant that is no longer a threat or far less of a threat. That's the only party I've thrown for my daughter and she's 3.

Eka - posted on 05/23/2010

5

9

0

In our country we do not selebrate first birthday, It's some kind of supersticous. Anyway it's not baby party.

Adrienne - posted on 05/22/2010

23

14

2

We didn't have a big celebration for our son. At 1 year old, a child is just too young to remember the experience anyway. Plus, they don't really have any established friends, so it's really just easier to do a small family thing.

Melody - posted on 05/21/2010

1

3

0

for my daughters first birthday we just stayed at home and invited family and friends over. it was a good day but she was a little overwhelmed by everything and got really cranky because she was sleepy. all in all for the first one at home was great. she did love her first taste of her very own little chocolate cake. she plowed right into it and i got alot of cute pictures and videos. she is now 9 and sometimes we have bday parties at home and sometimes other places. last year we went to space center of texas.

Erika - posted on 05/21/2010

10

33

2

We had a pretty big party for my son. It was great! He knew everyone that was at his party as my friends and I are close. They also brought their kids and we all had a great time. It was a Mickey Mouse theme birthday. Even though I know he didn't really know what was going on it was still great to see his face light up when he saw his Mickey Mouse stuff and seeing all his friends! Then the next day I had another party for him with the family. He loved this too, and yes even this party was Mickey Mouse. Everyone thought I was crazy to do it big, but that's just me!

Audrey - posted on 05/21/2010

4

10

0

I agree with the below posts that you should do what feels right for you and your family. I went all out for my daughters first birthdday and invited friends and family from all over but i now kind of wish it would have been a little more intimate and a little less expensive.. that however was nine years ago lol.. My son will be a year next february i think i may do the smaller more cost efficiant party

Amy - posted on 05/21/2010

50

22

2

For either of my kid's first birthday, we had a gathering of close family. Since we were living in an appartment, we went to a pizza parlor for my daughter. For my son, we were in a house, so they came over. For my daughter, she got her own little cake and we got some great pictures of her eating it with her hands. For my son, we got cupcakes, with equally great pictures.

I think that for the first birthday, the basics are all that is needed. The kids enjoy the cake and presents, no matter where they are. Besides, for the first year or two, the parties are more for the parents and family than the kids.

Tanja - posted on 05/21/2010

3

3

0

It depends on your budget.. With our older daughter we invited more family than usual and only close friends. How many real friends does a 1 year old really have?

Jyl - posted on 05/21/2010

4

18

0

Yes I think you should. Even though the child may not remember the party you will. To me it is celebrating one year of that childs life and it is worth every penny and time I put into the party!

Nicole - posted on 05/21/2010

27

22

4

We decided on a family party for our first daughter... which turned into a party almost the size of our wedding! My husband only has one brother... but has a huge, pushy, loud, Italian family... I on the other hand am the oldest of 5 and have a moderate sized equally as loud and pushy German family. So what was supposed to be small and intimate turned into this huge thing that we could barely afford because everyone was demanding that they be allowed to come too. With our second daughter we were able to do just a small cake and ice cream thing for her because she was born in early December and there was thankfully a snow storm the day of her party... which I prayed for so that I had to cancel the huge family thing. (I only bought a small cake anyways.) It was much less expensive and less overwhelming for her. Sometimes too many people can make their day not so fun for them, especially if they don't know everyone there that wants to hold and poke at them. I am definately saving the huge parties for their sweet sixteen!

Tawny Lee - posted on 05/20/2010

9

3

0

I would just warn you not to set YOURSELF up for disappointment. The fact is, he's one, and could be having a bad mood day or be tired or have a cold or whatever that day. If you have a lot of family and friends that you would like included, then by all means have an event, but don't let it disrupt HIS life (i.e., make sure you have somewhere for him to nap if he needs to). Personally, we went with a quiet cake event at my folks' house which was great because #1 had a really rough day that day and was tired and cranky. #2 went much better, but it was still fun that way and no stress.

I did do something I loved for both boys though; I had a photo cake made at my local grocery store (they almost all do this now) with a collage picture of newborn, ~6 months, and recent (1 yr) picture. Came out SOOOO CUTE, and kept those pictures with the birthday pix. Plus, big brother really got a kick out of little brother's pix.

Jaclyn - posted on 05/20/2010

4

11

0

I went intimate small thing. You never wanna make it big for a little kid like that it'll just overwhelm them I think. I had it elmo themed but not too many decorations. I didn't want to freak Ryan out. lol! But it was just his grandparents, aunt dawn 3 of my friends and my sis' mom. It was small but it was nice.

Ayenne - posted on 05/20/2010

2

13

0

hi samantha
i prefer having a party,. personally im very excited fot my daughters 1st birthday party next month. its the baby's first birthday so why shouldnt we invite people to celebrate with us. even if the baby will not remember it, she'll be able to see pictures and videos of her birthday when she grows up, right? and i'm sure she'll be happy..:). but just remember, you can give a party that can only fit your budget ok..:).

Kylie - posted on 05/20/2010

5

40

0

For my eldest I held hi snaming day as his first birthday and am doing the same for my second son in July...saves feeding people twice lol

Kendall - posted on 05/20/2010

99

55

5

for my daughters first we had a themed party at home. the theme was "1st Birthday" and we invited our closest friends and family. we ended up with about 20 people. did it on saturday at 2pm so no formal lunch or dinner, just snacks, drinks, and cake/icecream. it turned out great. not that she is almost 2 we plan for her 2nd bday to be grandparents with cake and icecream nothing major. hope this helps.

Anna Pei - posted on 05/20/2010

1

13

0

The FIRST birthday isn't for the child, it's for the parents! I look at it as it's their FIRST birthday and will never have another FIRST! My husband & I went all out for my daughter's 1st bday...our guests felt like they were on the red carpet going to a wedding. =) It's totally up to you.

Vette - posted on 05/20/2010

18

72

0

We went all out and continue to do so for each birthday. 1st year was Princess, 2nd was Dora, 3rd was Strawberry shortcake. Since she was 2 she has picked her theme. I keep a small plastic shoebox with all the cards, the candle, and a few decorations in for each year. They are stored in her closet, along with her birth box. I only put in what the box will hold. Your baby will only be 1 once. Celebrate, let everyone know how much she means to you!! I don't regret a penny spent.

Sasha - posted on 05/20/2010

8

18

0

It really is your call but @ the same time the first party is really for the mom-not the dad- but mom because me being a first time mom its an accomplishment to have taken care of another life for a whole year.. Im excited her dad doesn't want to do anything but I will have a party and a compromise is something small. This actually helped me too thanks guys

[deleted account]

I know the experts recommend not going all out for the first birthday, but we did. In fact, we got teased all weekend about how are we going to top this one in the future :) However, we had just adopted our son 3 months earlier, so his first birthday was also a celebration of our new family. It was also easy to go all out because my husband works at a zoo and we were able to have the party there with all the benefits at almost no cost...

Dashawn - posted on 05/20/2010

10

18

1

Its really up to you. My family goes all out for the first birthday. They always have. It depends on how you are feeling. Know that big 1st birthdays are a lot of work and can become exhausting if you have to do it alone. Do what you think is best.

Melissa - posted on 05/20/2010

18

7

1

I personally go all out...Both my kids 1st bday's were big events for me and my family...you only get the first time once! This year my oldest was two and it was MUCH smaller.

Catrina - posted on 05/20/2010

1

30

0

I just stayed home and had a couple of friends over with children and did the regular traditional : having a cake, singing Happy birthday, and a couple of toys along with clothes. You will have a lot more years ahead to splurge (spend a lot of money).

Titilayo - posted on 05/20/2010

20

1

2

In Nigeria where i coem from, its really abig celebration where you invite family, friends and well wishers to actually show off what you have been nursing in the last 12 months but it all depends on availabilty of funds though..have fun with wateva u want to do...

Shelly - posted on 05/19/2010

17

38

0

We go all out and are especially doing so this time as it is our last time we get to do the big 1st birthday. Li'l one has her birthday in August and we have already picked out our theme.

Chiquettae - posted on 05/19/2010

1

12

0

I would say a small party would be just fine for a one yr old but make sure you get him his own cake to himself because it is the cutest thing to see him get all the icing everywhere and he get to do it without getting into trouble take lots of pics but don't go all out because he will not remember it I would recomend video taping it and showing it to him when he gets older he will get a kick out of it

Stacey - posted on 05/19/2010

1

0

0

We are have a big party for our little guy's 1st B-day. 2010 just happens to be a big milestone year...our son's 1st, my 30th and my mom's 50th. I already have a big family so what the heck. We decided to make it more of an End of the Summer party to celebrate all 3 milestones...nothing fancy just good food and company at our home. A bunch of us have tents so we are going to put those up in the backyard, we have a game room in our basement that both the kids and adults enjoy. Should be a blast if weather permits!

Maureen - posted on 05/19/2010

3

23

0

I agree with Alison, you enjoy more a small family gathering and have more time to take the sweetest pics without all the rush...

[deleted account]

I find it hard to believe that people "pass" on the party because they won't remember it!!! It is a huge deal for the first birthday! Everyone made it through the first year- its a big deal. With both my daughter and son, we had a party. Family and friends with their kids. We made all the food and I made a themed cake for each. Elephant for my son and carebears for my daughter. I'm not sure what people mean by "all out"- maybe that we didn't hire anyone to do the food, decorations, etc. it was "smaller". My kids birthdays are 3 weeks apart, with Daedin turning 1 last Nov,and I had a party for each separately. Its totally up to you, but I think it is a family milestone for everyone to survive that tough first year and should be celabrated. No matter how old someone is, they should be made to feel special on their birthday.

Nikki - posted on 05/19/2010

1

15

0

This one is tricky. The first birthday feels so special to the parents, but a one-year-old doesn't even understand the concept of a party, nor will he or she remember anything about it. To that end, I tried to go the middle-road. I wanted to mark this special occasion in our life, but do it in a simple way that felt natural for us. We opted to have it outside (July) in a park near our home. We rented a canopy in case of rain; so that was the biggest expense. I did splurge on some pretty flower-frosted cupcakes, but made the rest of the food myself: guacamole and chips, fruit salad, mini empanadas from my Columbian mother-in-law, sodas and some beers for adults (not too many though). We invited family and close friends (many with kids) and some neighbors. Deocrations were some colored balloons and a few pink hydrangeas picked from the garden. Besides singing Happy Birthday, it was just a day of talking and laughing with friends and family and watching our new little walker toddle around in the grass. I did dress her in a lovely pink dress I bought for the occasion and put a bow in her hair.
I made a point of telling guests no gifts -- which meant that some still brought them, but nothing grand. A book, a cute bib, simple and sweet -- no one felt they had to spend a lot of money, nor did we feel the need to be encumbered by more stuff.

I think our party was just about perfect; we didn't spend a ton of money, but all the right elements were there: sunshine, laughter, friends, family, good food. It's a day I will always remember fondly -- and one in which the planning didn't interfere with me having fun and enjoying the day!

Sarah - posted on 05/19/2010

1

8

0

Family is fine I think, they have no recollection of it so really you're just having the day for you. I guess you'd get a lot more presents if you had a full on party but really at that age all they are interested in is the wrapping paper...I found that parties have become more important when my son started school it helped him build his social network and make new friends. This is only what I have experienced but they again I am a lone parent and did not have a big support network of friends or family to invite to a big party.....when my son was at nursery I used to back a cake and take it in, the staff would light the candles and they'd all sit round and sing happy birthday and that was ok because he was surrounded by his friends and I don't feel he has ever missed out. He had his first proper party when he was 5 and think it was the right time....he had a fantastic day and he was old enough to appreciate what was going on. Have a great time whatever you decide.

Donna - posted on 05/19/2010

18

1

0

For my older son we had a big family party for his 1st. A bbq in the garden big cake the works. The sun was boiling he was grumpy and upset, didn't like all the people passing him round! Everyone else had lots to drink/eat I ended up inside with him on my own! One of the worse days I ever had! With my daughter we just did us and it was great didnt mind the cake getting everywhere I even had a piece!

Jodii - posted on 05/19/2010

4

42

0

It really is your call, but a one year old can get rather distressed with all the noise and craziness that an all-out party entales. As was It's typically easier on mom, dad and the birthday boy to have something small. We didn't do parties until our son was three.

Felicia - posted on 05/19/2010

1

13

0

First birthdays they don't really enjoy as much or remember and it is mostly for the adults besides them diving into the cake and ice cream for fun. I just did cake and ice cream, let both my kids and niece play in the pool and a cookout for just the family nothing big.

Rachel - posted on 05/18/2010

1

15

0

I went all out for both of my daughters, which is more of a celebration for you and your family. It's a HUGE milestone and should be celebrated in fine style, with a few choice close friends that are involved in your child's life. And weird tradition that I have but ever since their first birthday's, I pick out a "birthday" outfit and then save them. Don't ask me what I'll do with them, hopefully pass them on to the girls one day when they have children of their own and appreciate it. Have fun!

Kerry - posted on 05/18/2010

17

11

1

Hi Happy Birthday to your son. IT really is up too if you want to do a big thing. Just think about all the future parties, cost and he won't remember this one. I personally had just family parties until my daughter was 5or 6. Most of all have fun and enjoy because they only turn 1 once. Don't stress out about a party or doing a whole lot. Good Luck!

Colleen - posted on 05/18/2010

2

29

0

All out!! They're only gonna have one first birthday!

Everyone thought I went over-the-top planning my first daughters birthday, but it ended up being an awesome day & she had so much fun!!

As for the lady who commented about one friend per year of age - if your child becomes cranky by being surrounded by friends, maybe they are socially inept! That's the craziest thing I've ever heard!!

Happy birthday to your little man!

Denise - posted on 05/18/2010

27

86

0

have a nice party and don't go all out but make it memorable....my daughter was born on the 4th of july almost 15 yrs ago and that was an all out thing cuz everyone celebrates her birthday...but definately make it memorable!!! good luck....(kids love sticking their fingers in the cake..lol)

Annette - posted on 05/18/2010

1

21

0

u will do what u think is best. each birthday will b different.and at this age they dont know what all the fuse is about but as they get older they will understand more.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms