For every mom who actually cares for their child(ren)

Elizabeth - posted on 09/14/2012

Is your sister on Circle of Moms? I would really like to talk to her actually. It is kind of something I would like to do for a living, encourage young women and talk them out their bad habits... be a distant positive influence to help change someone's life.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/14/2012

Sounds like your sister needs a taste of what it's like to be on her own. I understand she is very young but, like my mom tells me all the time "You made a grown up decision, now you need to live like an adult and raise your child on your own." I am still in college, I work full time, and I support my daughter all on my own (I don't even receive child support). It is 100% possible to do ANYTHING. Sitting around the house is only making her condition worse, "what condition?" You might ask, she is obviously very deeply depressed. No one can go through life the way she right now without being depressed. Sounds like she needs some family intervention and encouragement.

Lisa - posted on 09/14/2012

hiya my daughter is still livin wid me 4 nw anyway :/ she is 16 mnths old n i called her abigail :)n she is a Lvly happy lively lil girl i live in a one bedroom flat in a council estate wid my bf ste also her dad hu wrks full tym there is a big age gap between me n ste he is 42 n i am only 19 :/ we av bin 2getha 4 2 yrs nw i found out i was preg

nant at 17 n i wanted a bb ive always wanted 2 b a mum since i was a lil girl i was afraid at 1st in case my daughter gt taken off me straight frm birth as i av been in care myself frm aged 15~17 plus i had taken an overdose n den da nurse announced i was pregnant da nxt day ! my bf ste wanted 2 finish me afta i had taken tht overdose bt he den felt trapped cz i was pregnant n neither of us agreed wid abortion he also 4t i had bin takin da contraceptive pill which i hadnt i had missed loads cz Lyk i sed b4 i had always wanted a bb so much n i had a paranoia i was infertile i drank heavily thruout my pregnancy i also smkd n at 1 tym smkd marujana at a party which i still feel really guilty bwt bt mydaughter was born perfectly heallthy n weighed 5Lb 14oz she was born at 38 wks :) i was shocked hw much stress n harm i had pt her thru n she still came out perfectly healthy she was placed on a child protection register which said i was 2 b Left no mre thn an hr alone wid my daughter untill a risk assesment had bin completed which still sticks in my head as it hurt tht any1 4t i was tht dangerous afta 6 mnths of doin da ryt fing she was moved dwn 2 a child in need plan which only went on 4 a mnth n every1 were really plzd wid myn n stes progress n i was taken off their books alltogether i was so happy no1 has eva pt tht much trust in2 me b4 it was jst as da new yr started which made it mre special 4 da 3 of us......... me n ste split up L8er in da yr due 2 my drinkin issues my auntie n a neighbour reported us 2 da social services hu den had serious concerns i completley ruined everythin !!!!!! we r bk 2getha nw bt im still nt copin very well im so scared my lil girl is gunna gt taken off me it overpowers all my 4ts i dnt feel i am a gd mum n alltho every1 even da ss keep tranna say i am i dnt feel Lyk me n my daughter bond i fink she wud b betta off widout me bt im 2 scared 2 nt av her in my Lyf dk hw i wud cope if she werent ere everyday my youngest brotha is 8 nw n he is in care full term(we av jst had a desision frm da court) n as me n my otha brOTHA ALSO HAD A SPELL in care a few yrs bk its gunna scare me everyday cz ik hw often it happens as my bf is always out at wrk i struggle 2 cope bein overcrowded n tranna keep on top of housewrk n makin sure abigails needs r met :( i am feelin so dwn n low tht i av started drinkin n smkin majuana n tried a couple of legal highs as well (black mamba n doob) `i av also suddenly stppd takin my sertraline antideprressent tablets n its bin nearly 2 wks since i had 1 i feel Lyk im goin mad my mum is a manic depressant n she had her kids taken in2 care n nw i feel Lyk im reliving it bt im nw da 1 causin da harm Lyk my mum did all dem yrs ago im worried hw i will cope if abigail gts taken in2 care same as me n my brothas did bt ik its gunna end up happenin at sum piont does any1 knw y i feel Lyk dis ??? i jst crnt pt it in2 words bt ere u go i av tried

regards lisa xxxxxx

Barbara - posted on 04/05/2010

This appears to be a great problem for you and your family,, the first thing I would do , is report her to social services , and desperately ask your mum for support,,

your sister needs to wake up to herself big time ,, move out , leave the baby with others,, and have her life,,

oh i am frustrated by this,, I was 14 when i had my firstborn, and today she is 23yrs old , living independatley and is preparing for her wedding next month,,, never did i disown her or leave her to fend for self,, I worked from when she was 6mths old, and taught her independance,,and love

your parents may need to be spoken harshly for how they are doing what they are doing for your sister and make a stand,, eventually one day this will all be looked upon as something from the past, it is what you do now that will make the difference,, and fight for what you stand for,,

oh darl i wish you lots of luck in this ordeal that will hear cruel words,, and place stress upon you , but chin up you are a great mother and that is all that matters

take caree

SarahJane - posted on 03/21/2010

I can understand; however, with the way the economy is going even if you make 50+ a year with two incomes (combined) with expenses from a morgage, car payment, insurance, and other things... it is really hard to make ends meet. I have always had food for my child; yet, there are times when I think what would it be like as a single parent. I cannot image the struggle that people go through. At the same time, being a teen mother explains A LOT! Teenagers are not as able to make appropriate decisions as someone who as matured. Your mother needs a vacation, and let her daughter your sister, go a few days alone. Then she will see what changes she needs to make.

IDA - posted on 03/15/2010

The first thing your parents need to do is back up and make her be responsible. She is only doing what your parents allow her to do. I'd buy pampers and clothes for the baby because, she is not responsible but, after that that would be it. The car situation would stop as well again, as long as her parents allow this they can expect NO More from her. They HAVE to put their fot down. PEROID!.

THERESA - posted on 03/13/2010

Maybe you can see if she will go down to the Social Services to see if they can help her or something because she needs help and her mother needs to be getting help too because thats not her child. Her mother needs to put her foot down and stop letting your sister take advantage of her.

Evelyn - posted on 03/13/2010

it is a wonderful life when i meet mums that are totally comitted to their children,being married single or no family back up,the thing is not everyone is the same,some cant cope...some can,thank god their are people out there for the ones that dont cope as well as others...sadly we arent all built with that natural motherly love...it takes time for some...sometimes even years..and then there is lots of regrets on their part....i have four sons which i have raised on my own..my sister has three sons and still lives with my parents(she is 34,her oldest son 15) im not angry..my sons are healthy and wonderful...but i do realise she needs that help...her strength isnt their yet..aslong as her sons remain safe then thats all that matters,i would never be bitter because it would make me an angry person...wether we get angry or not people can only learn from their own mistakes and that is their responsiblity when they realise what mistakes or selfish life they have lived...let it go..take care of yourself and your own children...you cant change a person if they are not ready to or wont

Sam - posted on 03/12/2010

I so understand where you are coming from,my husband's sister is 18 almost 19 and she has been a mooch for a long time. Her parents are divorced and she has always played the game were if one parent corrects her she runs to the other and tells so many lies it is a bunch off bulls~~~~! she had been with this guy for almost two years and he was a deadbet, they both could not keep a job long enofe to save thier souls and bumed off of anyone they could, she treats her parents very badly and does not show them no respect! she never has money even if she had a job( who knows what she spent her money on but her parents always have to give her gas money, or cirgerates, and she has no many saved up! when she turned 18 she got $6,000 dollars from a heritance and she blew it faster than she got it and has nothing to show for it. she gets her collage free from the person her dad works for, they agreed to pay for whatever she wanted to go for we had to force her to go, and i am stuck with a $13,000 student loan! she gets everything handed to her and does not appriate anything! !!!!!! it makes me so made i have had to pay for everything i have ever accieved! And have worked so hard for it.
She is now pregnant and tells everyone that she lives with her mom but her mom has informed us that she doesnt and shes not sure where she is staying, she has 7 mths to make a good life for herself and her child but i see the same thing happening to my mother-n-law, she will end up raising this child and if she doesnt i will pray for that child every day.
I do not now what i should do! should i shed the pi~~y attitude, just such it up and go with the flow or should i speech my mind to this child and tell her what i really think?

Deanna - posted on 03/11/2010

I was a teen mom (17) and it was really hard to handle on my own. No parents (on either side) would help out. I worked also. My daughter was really sick to and in and out of hospitals for the first 3 years of her life. It is so hard to be a mom let alone a teenage mom. Please seek some support groups. Depending on where your sister lives with your mom is a factor in seeking help. The baby is the one who will pay the ultimate price if your sister doesn't get the helps she needs. Just because I did it on my own doesn't mean everyone else can, and it sounds like your sister is just plain immature. Not caring about herself either (which I did this to since I didn't know what to do without help, I just did it...) Give your sister my contact info. I will be more then willing to help her out even if only over the internet. Life happens. Life is hard. But, it is do-able. I appreciate your love for your family as far as writing (first step) to ask of other's opinions. It helps to keep the communication doors open not just for your sister, but also for you since this involves you and your family. Hats off to your mom for all she does.. I wish I could keep writing here because I have lots to say but, space is limited so keep up your shoulders cause eventually your sister will need at least one to lean on. And, keep on talking to other moms and such cause in return this will help you as well. Time is not always on our sides, but, in this circumstance Time is what is needed as long as your sister's baby is cared for by someone in the family then Time is what she may need. (I hope for her that she can realize very fast/soon that life doesn't just revolve around her but, around one of the most precious gifts from God, her child) Growing up is so hard to do. Keep on talking. We will listen. Wish you the best of luck (and your family). Take Care Dee

Kristi - posted on 03/11/2010

I work in a Pediatrics office and see this a lot. It seems to be the norm these days that more and more young women having babies and expecting everything to be handed to them. Not all, but a lot. The only thing that can change this, is your mom putting her foot down. Tough love works for adults too. I was a step mom and 19 and had my own son at 20. I never relied on anyone to raise my children. Yes, I did need my mom to help me out when I divorced my son's father when my son was only 8 mo old. But I have never left my children for someone else to raise.
I agree with what ashlee said about not being ready, but your sister is expecting everyone else to do the job for her. Tough love, or adoption. Your mom needs to make your sister grow up.
My children are now 11 and 16. I tell them they have to earn things in life, nothing is ever handed to you. Your sister does not seem to know the meaning of that. With all due respect to you, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and a very responsible person. Good luck and get mom to put her foot down. She's not doing your sister any favors by being a softy.

Rena - posted on 03/11/2010

I understand how frustrating this is for you and how it must break your heart to see your sister treat her own child and your mother that way. I would suggest that she may be depressed- the lack of motivation makes me wonder. Also, she is very young and may be feeling like she's missing out on all the stuff her friends are getting to do. I hope this helps you see it from her point of view and perhaps gives you more patience for her. Because like someone else said, she will need the example of you and other good mom's to show her the way when she's ready to make a change.

Angela - posted on 03/11/2010

My thoughts on this are that she will continue to mooch and get away with it as long as your parents allow her to. She is obviously immature and needs to grow up. As long as your parents allow her to treat them this way, SHE WILL CONTINUE TO DO IT! They need to put an end to it. They don't even have to be mean about it. When your mom comes home from work and your sister wants to go out, just have your mom say "I'm sorry. I'm not available for babysitting this evening. I have plans to go out." Your sister will throw a fit, but your mom needs to put her foot down. Even if it comes to screaming and yelling (hopefully, your mom is good at keeping her temper - it's better if she doesn't get riled and acts like she doesn't care), it's better that she learns NOW before it goes on too much longer. It's time for your sister to grow up. Sometimes you just have to cut them off and let them try on their own. If your sister sees that your mom isn't going to be around to help her out, she will learn that she needs to be responsible. You need to talk this over with your mom and dad. Don't scream, don't yell - don't say things like "it's not fair" or "she's acting like a 2 year old." Just express your concern that your mom works too hard and she shouldn't have to raise any more children when she's already raised hers. Believe me - even if it comes to screaming and yelling with your sister, it needs to happen. BUT, you need to make sure that it comes from YOUR MOM AND DAD - not you. If she suspects you had anything to do with it, it will cause tension. I have had similar experience with this - I am raising my younger sister's child. Your sister will grow up and be responsible, but she has to have a reason to. Your mom and dad have to put an end to it.

Good luck!

Cynthia - posted on 03/11/2010

Natasha- that is so sad :( It pains me to hear about those children, especially the story of the one who can't understand you and your siblings having one dad. It's too bad she keeps having more kids that have to deal with hardships. I'm worried about my sister getting pregnant again with another loser's child (she is not on birth control, despite my mom's and my attempts to talk her into it).

Ellisia- that's a good idea, my mom sitting down with her and going through bills and other expenses, I should mention that one to her!

Ellisia - posted on 03/11/2010

seems like your little "big" sister needs a reality check. I would cut off any support what so ever (except housing) let her fed for herself and see where she be without your mom and your support. No more money or baby sitting for free no more food for free (except the babys). Maybe your mother must sit down with her and explain their financial expenses while she write everything down. It might just work. Good luck

Natasha - posted on 03/11/2010

Oh boy, this sounds like my sister.... she had her first baby just before she turned 16, finished school, and then went and got pregnant at the end of her final year, and had her second baby before she turned 19. The eldest is turning 8 in May, is a year behind in school (only started first grade this year), and the stupid girl went and got herself pregnant a 3rd time, and that baby is now 9 months old. Mind you all 3 kids had different fathers. She is 24 years old, has no sense of loyalty, has had so many jobs (really really good jobs) that she leaves after 3 or 4 months for something better, only to leave that job.. she's been fired a few times, walked out a few times without something else lined up, and for most of the time my mom has been supporting her and her family. She spent a lot of time in between jobs unemployed so obviously the kids weren't in school and my mom had to cover all expenses because all the fathers are losers! The kids are so messed up that my nephew, at the age of 7, cannot grasp the concept that brothers and sisters can have only 1 father. He keeps asking who aunty and uncles "daddies" are, and the more my mom says that we all have the same daddy the more confused he gets.

The last straw was last year and my mom kicked her and her kids out and now refuses to spend another cent. Of course my sister has ANOTHER boyfriend that she is living with, with all the kids, and is planning on getting married, and having a 4th baby next year. Her and my mom do not speak anymore, in fact she has even "disowned" me now because I put my foot down and told her I'm sick of her cr@p (and she's whining that she always thought I was on her side). I was, but her taking advantage of my mom all the time and then having the AUDACITY to say that mom is spiteful and selfish and doesn't love her or the kids just made me so mad, I'd rather not have anything to do with her.

Good luck with your sister... I guess that everyone at some point will decide enough is enough and put their foot down. It took my mom 7 years to do that. It pains her because my sister is keeping the kids away from her to be spiteful, but it's better in the long run because my mom is not being drained anymore.

Jamey - posted on 03/10/2010

Wow how sad. Your mom needs to stop being a doormat! I got pregnant with my first child at 17...I was already out of school and working full time. I turned 18 in Nov..moved out of my parents house in Jan and gave birth in May. I have raised and supported not just her but her sister born 4 years later without help from thier father. My parents have helped with babysitting when I worked but I have always raised and supported my girls on my own. (Thier dad is a piece of crap) Now I have a wonderful husband my kids adore and wish was their dad but I still work fulltime and support them. I would NEVER expect anyone else to raise or support my kids.

Hillary - posted on 03/10/2010

So if it makes you feel any better at all my sister has done even worse than that... she is 23 and has given birth to five boys... my mom has custody of her first four and she gave the fifth up for adoption.. neither her nor the boys father pay child support and they think it is all hunky dory :( i am a single teenage mom myself and i live at home currently, but i am not in the least bit a mooch.. im just doin what i gotta do to go back to school to take care of my little bug ;)

Melissa - posted on 03/10/2010

I think it is hard for grandparents in this situation. You don't want your child to walk all over you, but you don't want your grandchild to suffer because your child won't do what is necessary to give them a good life, so they do it. It is a major catch 22.

Melissa - posted on 03/10/2010

I get where you are coming from. Unfortunately I know a few people like this who are 25! And it is sad! I hate to see what they put their parents through and the lack of respect for them as well as for their child!

Cynthia - posted on 03/10/2010

I know, right? I knew she wasn't gonna be a good mother from the get-go. When we were pregnant, she said, "I hope I have a girl so I can dress her up and stuff." WHAT?!?! Your baby is not a frickin doll!!!

Crystal - posted on 03/09/2010

No offense to all the good young moms out there, its just that the selfish little princessy ones drive me nuts, its like they did it for the attention or something.

Crystal - posted on 03/09/2010

I see this sort of thing all the time, poor little princess got pregnant and now it isn't supposed to be all about them anymore, after all the attention from the baby showers and visitors is over they don't want to play anymore. Someone needs to show her some tough love and either make her handle her own responsibilities or give up her new toy. If she won't take care of her daughter she needs to give her to your mom or another family member to raise. Its a shame that things like this happen to such sweet innocent babies. I hope she gets her act together for her daughter's sake and your mom's. I can't see her changing much, though as long as your mom keeps enabling her.

Brittany - posted on 03/09/2010

Ugh, I'm sorry - but I had my son right before I graduated from high school. I was 17 when I got pregnant & 18 when I had him. I went from being a selfish spoiled KID, to a responsible mother. If I can do it, you're sister can and should do it. She's not ready ... she's not ready to act her age? I mean, she is an adult now isn't she? Idk, I guess it just makes me really angry that I accomplished all this - and others who have children at the same age I did .. don't accomplish these things. I had my baby, graduated from a normal high school (non of this alternative school or online crap), got married to the father (my highschool sweetheart of 6 years), i'm in my second year of college - we live on our own and both work! No one should be making excuses for her. There are girls so much younger than her stepping up and taking care of their children, the only thing holding her back from that is her selfishness.

I commend you for taking care of you're child - and I wouldn't give up on your sister. In the end you're the one she looks up to, and it sounds like she has a pretty good role model right in front of her. One day she'll realize :)

Cynthia - posted on 03/09/2010

I've been trying to talk to my mom about it a lot more lately, and she just keeps defending my sister! Sometimes she complains to me about the way my sister is, but when it comes down to it, she just defends her. UGH it's frustrating.

Ondene - posted on 03/08/2010

Regardless of what age you are when you have a baby, its your responsibility to take care of your child properly. You were old enough to have sex so you are old enough to deal with the consequenses. Cynthia, I think you guys shouls show her a bit of tough love and make her take on her responsibilities. It doesnt matter if she "isnt ready". She given birth to a miracle and she should treat her daughter as such.

She is being spoilt buy being allowed to fob her daughter off on your poor mom.

Toni - posted on 03/07/2010

I haven't read replies to apologise if I repeat them. I fell pregnant at 17 and had my daughter at 18, I was working and learning as a trainee accountant and as soon as i fell pregnant i was determined to pass my driving test and pass my accountancy exams, which i did do which wasn't easy, but I cannot imagine not having done those things and bringing my daughter into this world and having her grow up whilst i did nothing, not only do i want to support her and be happy and proud of her, i want her to be proud of me when shes growing up. I have her at a childminder during the day from 8.30 - 5.30, then home at 5.45 and housework and dinner time lol and it's hard cause i miss out on all the best bits of her growing up but on a weekend i get to appreciate it and see it's definately worth it, not only am i a parent or mommy but I am also worth something in other areas and overall (although i find it difficult) i love my life.

Probably the best way to help her, is by not helping her if you get my drift or talking to your parents and try to convince them into helping you not help her. As a parent, we really need to stand on our own 2 feet. Also the kids will pick up on that.

Valerie - posted on 03/06/2010

I had just turned 19 when i had my son, i was done with a year of college, working full time going to school and living on my own. I was also engaged to the father. My aunt was almost 30 and living off and on with my grandmother when she found out she was pregnant she wasnt sure who the father was. She started mooching off my grandma, she QUIT her job reasoning that Mom will help me.



It doesnt matter the age some people are just not meant to be parents, and i think that your sister is one. My grandma kicked my aunt out and told her to grow up, if her niece can do it so can she. Lucky for her she wised up and became a mother. Maybe telling her to sign over custody to your mom or kicking her out of the house will be the wake up call that she needs, i hope that she gets her act together and becomes a productive member of society.

Elaine - posted on 03/06/2010

The problem is she will continue with this behaviour as long as she can get away with it or possibly grows up and unfortunately by then it could be too late. She could damage her relationship with her child for life. I work with teenagers from backgrounds similar to this and it really affects them. Their confidence can be seriously damaged. All you can do is try to be their for your niece and hope your sister grows up before its too late. She will regret it if she doesn't cop on. I know she is little more than a child herself but she has to realise she is a mum first and everything else second. I wish you luck and all the best for both your little one and your niece.

Nancy - posted on 03/06/2010

First of all why is your mother not demanding the respect she deserves? She is allowing your sister to get her life handed to her not requiring her to earn anything is teaching her to remain a child. She should not give her free handouts and not even her own room there thats free rent free food and free baby care plus necessities for her child. As long as she allows this in her home it will continue. You might say why not me movein too it would make it so much easier on me! Its not your fault. Iknow its hard but what she is allowing is way harder. tough love, read about it james dobson book. and pray. blessings

Michelle - posted on 03/05/2010

I would take the baby away from your sister until she got her act together. I would seek legal help and advice as to how to do this. Your sister sounds like she doesnt deserve to have this baby.

Cynthia - posted on 03/05/2010

Well said Chasity! And I LOVE seeing moms like you who are young and responsible. (It's one thing if she needs help for a while or once in a while.) Most young single moms are doing what you did- working, school, and raising baby... even if they have to have 2 jobs! My sister won't even find something part-time. I know that if it was necessary, I would find another job along with my full-time one. And you're right, she is still a little girl, and I wish so bad that my mom would put her foot down!!!

Chasity - posted on 03/05/2010

I had my daughter 2 weeks after my 18th b-day, so almost the same situation as your sister. While I still lived with my parents for the first 8 months or so of my daughter's life, I was also working a full time job, i had already graduated highschool (early), and was going to college. I now live completely on my own, without her bio-father in the picture, and I took care of my daughter ON MY OWN for a LONG TIME. Now I have a wonderful man in the picture who took us both in and helps me to support my daughter. Point of this is: An 18 year old is completely capable of taking care of a baby IF THEY CHOOSE TO.

I can't stand listening to this crap about "still living their teenage life." Guess what guys and girls, when you decide you're old enough to have sex, unprotected, knowing there's a possibility that you could get pregnant, then you're old enough to take care of a kid. That's the CHOICE that YOU made. That baby can't take care of itself.

As for your Mom, making sure nothing harmful happens to that baby is one thing, but completely allowing your sister to do the things she does is another. Your sister has no job, and has no car. There is no reason that your mom should let her go out or take her car ANYWHERE. If your sister decides to just leave, call the cops and file a report of abandonment for her child. She can't leave the child to take care of itself, that is considered abandonment. Eventually someone is going to have to take charge and make this little girl (and yes, she's obviously a little girl, not a parent or even a responsible adult) take some responsibility for HER child.

People like that make me sick.

Jasmine - posted on 03/05/2010

Wow... Unfortunately, just because someone has a child does not automatically make them a good parent. At 18 I do not know what I would have done with a kid. I saw my mom go through some things as a single parent and did not want that life for myself. I think your sister just has not reached the level of maturity that is needed to care in the manner that she should for your neice's well-being. As much as it is always good to have the support of family it sometimes cripples you as well. It sounds like she is stuck with the mentality that someone will always take of things for her when in fact she should be the one doing it. Either mom needs to start charging her rent (or at least something to help with expenses) or she needs to move out. Most times a reality check like that will help people straighten up real quick.

Ashley - posted on 03/05/2010

i would get your mom to talk to someone about getting guardian ship because as soon your sister finds a boyfriend to pay for shell leave and take your niece and your mom wont be able to do anything and your sis prob wont smarten up so until she does your mom needs guardian ship maby that is what its going to take to get your sis motivated and has she been to a doc maybe shes depressed was she like this before baby any way good luck

Ashley - posted on 03/05/2010

Cynthia - Sorry if you took offense... I am pretty hard on myself when it comes to doing what I did, because it was uncalled for, selfish, and wrong. But, the important thing is, I'm back now... and my son will be 9 this year, and I've got two other children, and I could NEVER imagine being without them... ever!

I don't know what to say about your sister. She seems like she's only doing what the absolutely HAS to, because she absolutely HAS to. It doesn't really seem like (from what you're saying) she's ready to be a mom, or even knows HOW to be a mom, and how important of a role it is. At 18, you're right, she's an adult, and she should step up and take care of responsibilities. Has your mom threatened her with making her sign her rights over or anything? If she's not going to take care of her, she needs to legally let someone else do it. 8 months is too long to push aside your responsibilities.

Cynthia - posted on 03/05/2010

Yeah, my brothers and I have tried to tell my mom to cut her off from certain privelages (such as going out with friends and using her car), but she's a softy. And she has too big of a heart to let the baby suffer, which is good because I would hate to see that happen anyway. I love my niece to death, but kind of wish my sister would've put her up for adoption so that she could have a good life and there are SO many people out there who could provide better for her and actually give a damn.



Ashley- I never said my sister was a piece of shit, I would never say that about her. I'm glad you came back to him after 4 months and stepped up and did what you needed to do. My sister has been doing this for almost 8 months now, and she wasn't as young as you either... She had her daughter 2 weeks before her 18th birthday, so is technically an adult and should start acting like one. 8 months should be long enough for her to realize that she has a responsiblity, a child depending on her, and needs to give up the teenager lifestyle.

Ashley - posted on 03/05/2010

I was 16 when I had my first child, and I left him with my mom, and ran away for 4 months. I guess I was a piece of shit, too. I wasn't ready. And I would have MUCH rather him been with someone that WAS ready, and could handle it, than me do something wrong and him get hurt or something. I came back 4 months later, got a job, and a car, and did what I had to do. I just needed that time "away" to realize that I couldn't be without him, and I really DID want to be a mother. I was still a baby myself. Not defending my actions - it was wrong... but I wasn't ready. Maybe she's not either.

Michelle - posted on 03/04/2010

Wow...It sounds like your sister doesn't HAVE to grow up because she has her mom and dad to do everything for her. So very sad. I can imagine how frustrating that must be. I wish your niece all the very best, and hopefully she will have a positive upbringing by yourself and your mom...

Jennifer - posted on 03/04/2010

Unfortunately, it sounds like your sister has a lot of growing up to do. I can imagine how frustrated I would be in your position, but thankfully your niece does have your mom to help her. She will need those positive female role models in her life, should her mother choose to not be one.

Cynthia - posted on 03/04/2010

Oh and might I add that my niece is almost 8 months old and my sister has failed to get her a social security number, so my mom just found out about that and is doing it for her. If my mom doesn't do something for that baby, it just doesn't get done at all.