Going back to work. Putting my 10 month old in daycare. Anyone have any advice?

Mandy - posted on 10/18/2009

I understand how u feel there. Im going back to work on the 2nd of November to a new job working full time. My son is 21 months but i worried about this too so i can only imagine how u feel with your little one only being 10 months. Id advise taking her for a trial period before u start work....it might make u feel at ease being there to see how she gets on etc. I did this and my little boy LOVED it so now im not so worried about taking him there when the time comes. He has another 2 trials before he actually starts which is good. Hopefully you get on. Let us know how it goes x

Alison - posted on 10/18/2009

Oh babe i feel for you so much because Reece went into nursery when i went back to work at 10 months old and i'm not going to lie it's horrible for you, but good for them because they learn to interact and learn with other children and honestly your doing the best thing letting them go in at this age. We all want to be at home with our babies but in todays climate we can't can we but just remember your little angel belongs to you and no-one else and she's always going to want you even if you have left her for a few hours a day. Your her special person and that was how i thought and it's like having a birthday present every time you leave her them at nursery because it's something you have to look forward too during the day and that's picking them up and having them back in your arms again. Keep thinking that hun and it'll get you through this horrible time bless u xxxx good luck

Lizzy - posted on 10/18/2009

i was the same the thought of not being with her all day scared me, but its just something you have to do to give your family a better life. I went back part time i was affraid to leave her the whole day, she doesn't seem to mind tho it just makes the time we have together more precious! Dont worry to much about it after a couple of weeks you will think what was i worry about! Good luck!

Angela - posted on 10/17/2009

Try not to worry too much, every Mom does, but so long as you know that the day care is safe and you trust them then your child will be perfectly happy, if she feels that you are worried then that will pass onto her and she will not settle. Believe me, I even cried when I took my grandson to nursery, but only after I had left.

Veronica - posted on 10/16/2009

i put both of my kids in daycare.they learn so much.

Dione - posted on 10/16/2009

Relax...Its the best thing u can do for your baby. Nerves are natural for your first time, but once you get use to it, you'll be fine. Be prepared for some crying on the first day, on both ends..lol..and also a few colds and sniffles. germs are everywhere, but its best for your child to build up immunity to school germs at an early age. ofcourse no one will replace mommy, but in my experience, they do a pretty good job. Make sure u ask as many questions as u need to, and don't be afraid to seem overprotective...they are the most valuable things in our lives....Dione P.

Lou - posted on 10/16/2009

I had to put my first in at 7 months and it was only 2 half days a week. It was awful and she didn't seem to enjoy it. Then I started her on full week and she loved it! The routine of going every day was better for her and I tell you she has blossomed there! She turns 2 next week and is potty trained (day only) and speaks so well (and so MUCH!!) and that is all thanks to being around other kids. I know it is hard but if you have a good daycare then she will only grow. What I did to ease my conscience was to go to the school one day and spend time there and see what the deal was. Good luck and don't give yourself a hard time, it truly is good for their growth and development .

Lori - posted on 10/16/2009

My advice is going to be a little different angle since everyone has covered the safety and security issues. My oldest is a momma's girl as well and a master at making mom feel guilty. She has been in daycare since she was 7 weeks now 4 yrs and has grown up with the ladies that take care of her but she still would have "fits" at drop off- screaming, crying, grabbing leg, etc. I knew she loved her teachers and her daycare and I also knew they were taking good care of her--communication and gut feelings were key. She just didn't want to be away from me but would be fine within 5 minutes of my leaving. Communication and gut feelings will help get your thru those bad drop offs- but definitely don't ignore signs that something isn't quite right no matter how small.

Pat - posted on 10/15/2009

Hi. I am a licensed Home Day Care Provider and certified Early Childhood Teacher. I felt the same way that you do when my own two children went off to Preschool many many years ago, before I started working with children. First of all, Home Day Cares should be licensed. You should be allowed to visit by yourself first, and then with your child by appointment. Get permission to talk to other parents of children there, if possible. The provider should have a written philosophy about child care, and bring lots of questions to ask her. Always check with the licensing agency to look for any violations. Look for cleanliness and tone of voice of the Provider, as well as reading up on what to expect in a good home. The library has lots of good books on the subject. Call her insurance company to make sure she's covered, and check on her credentials. Do the same for Preschools. Always go to an Early Childhood Accredited Center, as well. If the toddler room is small and noisy, think again about a day care home, which is usually easier on a baby who doesn't transition well, after awhile. If you could work part-time at first, and let her go part-time to transition the both of you, it would be easier. Relatives are great resources, also, during transition time when you first return to work. Good luck! :) oh, remember that children in all-day day care get really really tired and need a quiet and consistant rest of the day.

Karissa - posted on 10/15/2009

I felt the exact same way... I went back to work full time when she was 5 months, I was working maybe 15 hr. a week since she was 4 weeks, and I was so scared she wouldnt like it/ forget what mommy does with her. My daughter is now 11 months and I cant tell you how much my daughter enjoys daycare. The woman who is with her in the morning is greeted with a smile everyday by my daughter with her hands reaching out to her. As others have said, check the daycare. I went by two or three times and popped in on my lunch break one day to "check" up on it before I put my daughter in.

As long as your positive about it, your child should be too!

Zakeana - posted on 10/15/2009

My son started "visiting" daycare once a week at 10 months and loved it...barely looks up from his friends when i get there to pick him up in the afternoon and his "teachers" say he doesn't cry. I was very nervous at first but needed a few hours a week to get some chores done. Now that i'm getting ready to head back to work full time, i know that he has a place where he is comfortable. I'm pretty lucky - hope you are too!!

Kristin - posted on 10/15/2009

I worked as a head infant teacher for several years and have two children of my own who started at 6 weeks and 10 weeks in child care. My best advice is to go with your gut. When you walk in to visit, you are probably going to be a bundle of nerves. If no one there gives you warm and fuzzies, it may not be the place for your family. Of course, the teachers will be busy, so not eveyone will be able to drop what they are doing to welcome you right away, but at least one person should be giving you and your baby attention. Even if it is the director and the infant staff are busy, at least you know you can go to that person if you are having a hard time, whether emotionally or with something going on in the room. At 10 months, your baby most likely will have separation anxiety and it will break your heart. You want at least one staff member to build a relationship with you. Don't feel bad if it is an assistant as opposed to the head teacher. Whoever makes you most comfortable is who you should feel free to talk to. Don't hold concerns in assuming they are mommy guilt or because you feel bad confronting the staff. Even if it is something you see as a small issue, as long as you approach the staff with respect, it is better to get it out than to build resentment over little preferences that could have been easily cleared up early on.

If the day care has a good infant staff, they will do their best to make the transition smooth for everyone, but won't lie and tell you everything was great if your baby cried all day. Honesty and open communication are key from both ends for the benefit of your child. I wish you and your baby the best. Hopefully,entering day care will bring more loving people into her life in the form of her new teachers!

Megan - posted on 10/14/2009

I had the same feelings when I placed my daughter in daycare. Unfortunately, the first daycare was a disaster! However, I asked my friends and people around the community to help me find one for her. I found the perfect place where she got a lot of attention with a wonderful family! It was very good for her socially. She was 5 months old when she went to daycare. It's just important to find the right place!

Laura - posted on 10/14/2009

I would also ask about their employee turnover. A high turnover rate means the child may need to get used to a new teacher every few months.

Ask if they are accredited? The federal Health & Human Services dept has a list of accreditation programs on their website - http://nccic.acf.hhs.gov/poptopics/natio... This helps reassure parents of the level of care given.

Helen - posted on 10/14/2009

I work in Early Years and my best advice is go with what your gut is telling you however if you live in England ask if the Daycare setting is being led by a Graduate - settings which are graduate led tend to have better outcomes for children, also ask about the key person - its really important for your child to be handed over to the same person every day so they are able to develop positive attachments when they aren't with you, your relationship with this key person is also really important and you need to like them and feel able to communicate with them. As a final note Daycare settings are great but so are Childminders and very young children often thrive more with more personalised care. Hope this helps.

April - posted on 10/14/2009

I agree! Daycare is good because they can interact with other kids and they get to learn. Make sure you interview the daycare center to see what there day to day looks like.

April Anaya
www.april56.fourpointmoms.com

Marcy - posted on 10/14/2009

its so good for them to learn how to interact with other kiddos and also to learn how to function as part of a group. My son has been going to daycare since he was 3 months old (I had to go back to work) and now he is in nursery school (just over 3). The first few days I dropped him off I was a train wreck but I only dropped him off for a few hours. I highly reccomend doing this. It makes the transition to full days much easier. I don't think anyone is going tot ake care of your child the way that you take care of them but know that when you find/go to the right place that your child will be happy (most days) but there are still going to be rough days as well.

You will do just fine. I felt horrible when I dropped him off and I so badly wanted to stay home with him for another few months. You do the best you can and just make all the time you spend together during the week before and after work count.

Jenise - posted on 10/14/2009

Make sure you ask three major questions everyday...what they ate, how long they sleep, and what was found in the diaper? Find out a little about what activities they do with the children, what time do they have set aside for cognitive and physical growth, and most importantly always go with your gut feeling....if something tells you there is something wrong always go with it, cause most likely your child is feeling the same way...good luck!!!

Iysha - posted on 10/14/2009

Some questions that will be good to ask are: Are they certified to watch over young children? What is the Child:adult ratio? Can you stop by whenever you like? What activities do they do with the children?



Look around to see if it clean and if they are attentive to the children there and meet their needs. Don't be afraid to snoop. lol. Ask Questions...lots and lots of questions!

Rebecca - posted on 10/14/2009

Might be a good idea to bring her with you once or twice when you look around at the daycare, so she can get to know the other babes she'll be seeing during the day...if you can spare the time. Our daycare was really open to that, especially since in the end it makes their job easier if she's comfortable.

Olivia - posted on 10/14/2009

She usually plays with my niece, she is 3 years old. Other than that, no.

Rebecca - posted on 10/14/2009

Has she spent a lot of time playing with other little ones her age? My daughter is only 6 mos, but we switched daycares last week (just around the time she developed stranger anxiety) and I found it helped her to meet and see the other babies. Once she started interacting with them she forgot to be afraid of the new adults in the room!

Olivia - posted on 10/14/2009

It does! Thank you sooo much. I'm actually going in on friday to take a look around and have a meeting with all of them. She starts in about 2 weeks. Shes such a mommys girl. But I'm sure she'll have fun with other kids her age. She just loves to be interacted with.

April - posted on 10/14/2009

Make sure to walk through the daycare meet with the teachers and dont be afraid to ask any questions at all. I even used the bathroom and looked under the sinks and stuff just to test how clean everything was. Be sure to let them know your prefrences when it comes to care for your baby, everyone is different. I took my time and talked to the director and all the teachers and now have a great relationship with all of them. (to the point that we text and stuff). Just be sure and take your time and take into account the location and distance from your home and your work for emergencies. Plus the proximety of daycare to doctors and hospitals. Most of the time you can get online and check on daycares if they have been in violation for anything, daycares are held to some standards as far as state laws and stuff, so do the research. Hope this helps!