Guilt of returning to work

Felicity - posted on 01/16/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi, this is my first time posting on here. My son is now 3 months old and I am returning to work this April. I found a great childminder this week but since finding her I have found myself tearful and apprehensive of giving her the nod in looking after Lewis. I feel so jealous that she will be having all the fun with my son Monday to Friday! Work will not let me go back part time as the job does not warrant it but I can apply for flexible hours! I was lucky with my first son I had 3 years off with him but now as a single mum I need and have to go back this early. I understand Lewis will love it and for me to be able to afford the best things for my boys I have to go back to work but i want the time with my son!!! I have been dreading going back since I had him and now its creeping up really fast! I keep telling myself to enjoy the time I have now and worry later but I cant its on my mind every day, counting down the weeks etc. How on earth do I start to accept the fact that this happends because I do not want to turn up and work every day blurry eyed from crying after dropping him off!! I thought I was stronger than this!! Help and advice please x

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Felicity - posted on 01/17/2011

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Hi Amanda, your so right, and I was thinking that only yesterday! Instead of doing the chores round them while they watch TV or play with their toys they will be interacting with other children, on trips out, baking and having so much fun. Thats not to say that I leave him to it all day but you know what I mean and yes those hours at the weekend of fun with me will be so much more special. Would be great to keep in touch with you as you are exactly in the same boat. Hope you enjoy your time too, thanks so much for your post, very helpful. I just need to keep all this in mind when I am feeling low about it all. x

Amanda - posted on 01/16/2011

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Hi Felicity,
I know exactly what you are going through, I too am back in work in April, and have a 3 month old.
He is my fourth child though so I am getting used to it. the only thing I can say to you is that the first 2 weeks are the hardest, after that it becomes normal again. The best thing about working moms I find as opposed to stay at home moms are that it is quality not quantity. they will always remember that hour you spent playing hide and seek with them or chasing them around the house more so than a full day of watching them playing with their toys, and giving out to them when they get on your nerves. may the next 3 months go in very slowly :)

Felicity - posted on 01/16/2011

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Tessah, thank you for your response, the childminder has said about a months settling in period which I can attend too so maybe that will help me too. I guess I want to get to know her too so she is not so much of a stranger to me. I have instantly bonded with Lewis whereas with my first son it took me a long time so its all very different this time. Thanks again. :-)

Tessah - posted on 01/16/2011

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I dreaded returning to work the whole time I was off too and unfortunately it affected my ability to enjoy my time with my son. But about a month before going back, I started bringing him to the sitter for a few hours each week... (first with me there, and then leaving him there for 3-4 hours, and gradually increasing the number of hours) and what I found was that he LOVED it there. My son is very social and loves being around other people, so I realized it was good for him to be there and it made it easier for me to return to work. Good luck to you!

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