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Help! My 8-month-old only wants to be held at daycare. Any suggestions?

Kimberly - posted on 02/22/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

2

0

My 8-month old daughter has been in an in-home daycare part-time for over a month now and she will not let either of daycare providers set her down. She does great doing things on her own at home but at daycare she will not crawl, play by herself, sit in a highchair, etc. They have to be holding her or have her in their lap at all times otherwise she screams/cries. But as soon as my husband or I show up to pick her up and she sees us, she is fine and acts normal. She crawls and plays happily as long as she knows we're there. We've tried bringing in her own toys, letting her cry for a few min :(, distracting with toys, other kids, etc. Nothing seems to be working! Anyone experience this? I am thinking we are going to have to try a different daycare, but I am worried it will not help since it's our absence that seems to be the problem. They have been so great about being understanding and holding her pretty much all the time, but I know it has been hard on them and can't go on forever.

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Jaime - posted on 02/22/2012

2,233

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i have a feeling this has to do with the daycare providers perpetuating your daughter's need to be held when you're not there. she's at the age where there is separation anxiety, yes, but this is ridiculous. it has become her routine that she goes to daycare, mommy leaves, and daycare person holds her all day. when that routine is broken, of course she's going to get upset. i have a feeling that at the beginning of all this the caregivers held her all day, only put her down a few times, and then scooped her back up as soon as she started fussing because they didn't want her to cry.



babies are geniuses about this sort of thing, and they will do whatever it takes to get what they want. my daughter is a perfect example, haha. she's fine at home and doesn't fuss much when we take things from her, but when she's at grandma's she knows she can make a face and she'll get to keep it because they don't want to make her cry. that's what this sounds like to me. she's fine with you because that's part of the routine. but it's routine to be fussy with other people because she can get away with it.

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