Louise - posted on 06/16/2010
You ask how we cope with it all and to be honest to me that's all it is coping. I have a 14 month old and a 4 and a half Tera old. My husband works odd hours meaning he's not there in the evenings most evenings and sometimes works night shift.
Oh and I work fulltime. Up at 6:30 out of house by 7:30 drop kids to Creche. Work then at 8:30. Cut lunch to half an hour so I can finish at 5. Collect kids home by 6:15. Feed boys snack. Then bed by 7. After all this I then get my own dinner get stuff ready for next day for us all to take. Do washing or sort clothes etc. Hubby normally is home by half 10 by which time I'm normally dead to the world. Tried staying up but couldn't manage with lack of sleep. Normally up once or twce a week with baby. Not for long but enough to count.
Weekends then we do the shopping. The 4 year old has sports all on saturday. Sunday then is family time. We just relax at home.
All this has resulted in me being totally run down and becoming I'll. I can't afford to give up work though so I'm muddling through but I have to say that I know that as they get older things in some regard will get easier like not being up at night and stuff but for now I'm "coping"!
Parisa - posted on 01/18/2009
hi a also work full time i get up in the morning gets things ready and the kids ready i drive 20 minutes to go to my mom drive 20 minutes back to work an my husband after work and gets the kids between us we do one hour and 20 minutes driving a day and when i come home we are both tired and we know it but we make time to play with our kids and read to my older daughter. i also have to put up with my mom i undrstand she hep us out 3 times a week but she treats me like a sh...in my day off she comes over or calls me to criticize my life. sorry ladies did not mean to complain
Jennifer - posted on 12/11/2008
What awesome reading! It sounds we are all well rounded in the trying to make things work - between our kids, husbands, work and lives. The me time thing - oohhh that is where my guilt lies. I need to let myself have more and also allow my husband to do the same. I love date nights though they don't happen as often. I love spending time with the kiddies and then if there is any time left over - us time then me time. Thanks for such awesome responses.
Jennifer - posted on 12/10/2008
I work full time out of the house, have my own business on the side, also a leader of a local playgroup. My son is in 'school' all day. So the minute I get him, it's all about him until bed time. We play, read stories, go to the pool, he helps with dinner, and so on. Once he's in bed I run around like a nut cleaning, making lunch and clothes for the next day. After that it's time with the boyfriend. He has his activities a couple of nights a week. Those are the nights that I crash early, read a book, take a bubble bath, or have some girls over. Weekends are errands with fun things in between, 'family time', etc. It seems that the more I have going on, I just have to pass up on sleep.
Kerrie - posted on 12/09/2008
I also work full time, and have 2 children. In my situation, my kids come first then husband then house then myself. Me time is now pretty much none existant. I class me time as doing the grocery shopping as me time., Even for that couple of hours, is just relaxing. The kids will always get the attention first, then if you can get even an hour to sit on the couch with your husband, is great. I am trying not to beat myself up, and neither should you.
I think guilt kicks in the day you get pregnant and it will be with you for the rest of your life. Us as mothers, we are just programmed that way.
Zee - posted on 12/08/2008
Mu husband and I make a good team. We have 2 kids. I take the baby to his nanny's and my husband take our 4 year old to school so neither one of us has to struggle with 2 kids at a time. I cook and my hubby cleans up. While I'm nursing our son my husband will give the 4 year old her bath, then I read to her while he puts the baby to sleep. At the end of the night we chill out and talk, watch tv, or play our Wii......if we can stay awake long enough. It's not always easy, but it's what we do to keep our kids fed, housed, clothed, and healthy. My husband and I have tried to have regular dates at least once a month. For me it all boils down to having a husband who is very involved in the lives of our kids and who still remembers to tell me he loves me. :-)
With both of us working, my husband and I don't find much time to ourselves. We have date night once a month and after the kids go to bed we try to have some time to ourselves, instead of doing dishes, laundry, watching TV etc...having some meaningful talks. No it doesn't always happen like that, but we try!
As for my kids and their attention we have a system that I try to keep, but its life and it doesn't always happen. When we get home, my boys sit at the kitchen table and either do there letter work (pre K) or color (3 yr old) while we talk about there day and what they have learned. We are all in there communicating with one another which I believe instills in them open discussion.
Good luck finding your own nitch
Jennifer - posted on 12/08/2008
I'm lucky in that my job is from 10 to 4 during the week, but I have to work a half day Sat and a whole day on Sundays. It sucks. I didn't start back to work till my kids were in school, but now I work on the weekends when that is my only real time with them. Unfortunately, I think the time for myself is what I am giving up the most, trying to give as much time to the kids and husband as I can. My kids are old enough now though, that they want to spend more time with friends and video games. We make sure to have dinner together at the table though and still sit around for a bit in the evening reading a book together (a habit we developed before they could read and continue to enjoy despite them being able to read quite well). I don't know that any of that qualifies as "coping". :-)
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