HOW CAN I BE MORE PATIENT WITH MY KIDS?

SOPHIA - posted on 10/07/2012 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I HAVE A 7 YR OLD AND A 3 YR OLD AND THEY ARE FIGHTING ALL DAY LONG, AND THEY ARE TESTING MY PATIENCE. PLEASE, I LISTEN TO ANY SUGGESTIONS.

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Kristen - posted on 10/17/2012

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1. Recognize when you are being impatient/raising your voice/getting frustrated whatever. This may take practice.

2. Breathe deep.

3. If you need to give YOURSELF a time-out, do so. And tell your kids what you're doing. "Mommy's getting very frustrated with your fighting, and I am losing my patience. I need a time-out." Go in another room for 5 seconds, or whatever it takes to be calm. Remind yourself they are children, and you love them. It may help to remember them as newborns. :)

4. Go help the kids solve their problem, if they still need it.



Yes, it sounds goofy, but I do this. I've been telling my 5yo (& 2 yo) the only things that bring back my patience is a time-out or hugs from them. This approach serves two purposes. 1- They see their actions affect other people, and learn to be aware & care about other people's feelings. 2 - They see, not just hear, how to handle their emotions properly. Everyone gets angry, frustrated, disappointed, impatient, etc, but not everyone knows how to handle it. Use these moments (and others like it) for what kids do best - learn by example.

Now if my 5yo sees I'm starting to get frustrated, he will ask if I need some patience and gives me a hug.

Sarah - posted on 11/02/2012

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I have four boys but my older two are 11 and 7. They are always trying to get each other in trouble and trying to annoy each other. The last time I told them if they did not stop I was going to tie there arms and legs together and make them work as a team until they got along. Silly I know but they stopped. The time before that they kept trying to get each other in trouble and telling on each other so the entire week everytime One got introuble so did the other. They learned not to tattle so much and to watch each others back. We still have probalems but thye know what I will do if it gets to out of hand.

Vanessa - posted on 10/08/2012

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I have a 6 year old and a 1 year old so my IMPATIENT moments are different from yours, but in times of my IMPATIENTNESS I have had to walk away and PRAY!!!! Asking GOD to settle the atmosphere around me, to give me a CALMER SPIRIT and to forgive me for resulting in YELLING or ATTITUDE. There are days when it just feels so CAOTIC that I can't even think and I just want to SNAP, but PRAYING has helped me. Thanking him for blessing me with CHILDREN who will test my Patience, for children that I can get frustrated with and reminding myself HOW BLESSED I AM to even have children; especially after loosing one I am blessed GOD gave me another chance to have another child because there are so many women who can't have children. If you can even take a walk with them getting them out of the house and walking as a family has helped my husband and I as well, or if it's a really bad day my husband has taken my girls for a walk alone to give me a chance to finish up dinner or just to give me a break. ASK FOR HELP!!! a lot of times MOMMIES don't ASK for help because we feel it's our responsibility to DO IT ALL and we don't TRUST OUR HUSBANDS to take over cause lets face it our techniques are WAY DIFFERENT from thiers but HEY YOUR GETTING A BREAK. I don't have fighting children YET but I've learned just changing the ATMOSPHERE helps DEEPLY. I hope this helped you. GOD BLESS!!!

Nicki - posted on 10/09/2012

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My boys are 10 and12. I used to send them to their rooms when I couldn't stand the bickering any longer, but then I started putting them in the SAME room until they decided they could get along together ! It was AMAZING how quickly they decided they could and it seemed to last longer too ! Good Luck XX

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GET MORE INVOLVED. not saying you arent, but when kids are fighting all the time, they need you to spend time with them directly, and SHOW them how to play nice, or colour nicely.

Julie - posted on 11/14/2012

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WORKOUT...If I do not release my tension and stress with a good cardio kickboxing or bag class, if I do not run a few miles and sweat it out..... I LET IT OUT and patience's run EXTREMELY thin.

3-4X a week for 45-90 minutes. You will have more energy, sleep better and be a happier, healthier, more PATIENT mother, I promise!

We mom's feel you. Patience's is a virtue for Mother Theresa & Gandhi. The rest of us have to WORK at it.

Tracy - posted on 11/14/2012

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remember the time u impregnated them, the patience u had to bring them. continue the patience and dont turn to a monster for them. continue the love and teach them same, it will surely come to past trust me. its nature and will take its cause.

may God give u strength to handle them, sit them down whenever they fight and take your bible to advice them how Jesus Christ thought us about LOVE and how to be our brothers keeper. they will change little by little when u tell them that they wont go to heaven by so doing. give it a try.

Becky - posted on 11/08/2012

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I love your approach Sarah!! I have three step kids and the oldest (12 year old boy) and youngest (7 year old girl) just can't seem to get along no matter what! Everything the other one does or says annoys the other one! We once made them stand in the corner hugging each other for time out. It's very hard to be patient. The middle child will chime in too sometimes and then it's really hectic! My husband gets very impatient and I try to tell him siblings will fight but man I hope they grow out of this fast!!!

Bonnie - posted on 11/02/2012

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I find the thing that helps my patients the best is time off. Having the kids (1yo and 3yo) go to the grandparents for the evening (or even overnight sometimes) to have a date night with my hubby allows me to keep a straighter head when my kids are testing me. I do notice I lose my cool quicker if it has been a long time since I've had time off from my kids. I apologize if I've yelled at them unnecessarily.

Mommy - posted on 10/23/2012

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I offered to have my step daughter stay with us for the week since I am on leave right now, even though my husband had to work, so she could spend time with her sister. Well she is 7 and my daughter is 2. They fought constantly! I almost went out of my mind, but what I ended up doing was letting them work it out on their own to a point, and when that did not work I separated them for a bit until they could get alone better. I also had lots of structured activities, because the free play time was when we had the most trouble. So we would bake, paint, play on the swings, go swimming, take a walk, go shopping.....because I knew once they went upstairs to play with their toys all hell was going to break loose after about 10 minutes lol. Oh, and this may be wrong, BUT when I was younger there was a 5 and 6 year gap between me and my brother and sister, and I was the oldest. My dad told me if they cried or screamed I was the one who was going to get in trouble. So I always tried my best not to let our arguments reach my dad's ears lol

Molly - posted on 10/17/2012

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@Kristen thanks for the advice l will put it in practice l alway have the same problem. For my 6yrs and 3yrs boys

Kelly - posted on 10/09/2012

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I find teh best thing with kids being disruptive, silly, etc is to distract them. Search online for some fun/different activities and play with them - sometimes kids fight because they are bored or frustrated doing the same ole things. If my son (who is 2) is getting on my wick and being a pain in the bum :) I'll pull out his puzzles or take him out on the swing - a change of activity or some fresh air is great for him and re-energises the atmosphere with good vibes instead of continually telling him off. :) good luck

Vanessa - posted on 10/08/2012

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I feel you... It's HARD wearing so many HATS!!!! And I understand your FRUSTRATIONS. Sometimes I ask GOD to make it available for me to be a Stay at home mom but then I think CAN I REALLY HANDLE THAT LOL, I've been working since I was 14 it's all I really know and really it's my TIME AWAY cause like you I don't get much of that anymore, EXERCISE is NON EXISITANT and every time I tell myself OKAY this week; well it NEVER HAPPENS. making time for yourself is VERY HARD and makes you feel GUILTY but thank GOD for family that will take the kids for the WEEKEND and give me and my HUBBY some much needed ALONE time and to play SLEEP CATCH UP. But PRAY ABOVE ALL ElSE, sometimes I will walk through my home and pray for GODs annointing to fall upon it cause let's face it we can't do nothing without his HELP. Just ask GOD to cover your home and your family and if you loose it APPOLOGISE to your kids when you know you were out of LINE cause i know when I loose it I FEEL HORRIBLE!!!! GOOD LUCK SOPHIA if you ever need to talk send me an email.

SOPHIA - posted on 10/08/2012

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VANESSA,



WHAT BEAUTIFUL SPIRTUAL WORDS YOU HAVE WRITTEN. YOU ARE RIGHT I HAVE TO PRAY MORE, AND FIND MORE TIME FOR MYSELF BY MAYBE TAKING A WALK, OR DOING SOME KIND OF EXERCISE, THAT I HAVE NOT DONE SINCE I HAVE MY KIDS. THANK YOU FOR YOU SUPPORT, BECAUSE THEY ARE SOME DAYS THAT I AM SO STRESSED WITH WORK AND HOME THAT I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING OR JUST RUNNING. I WILL FIND TIME TO RELAX MYSELF, BECAUSE IF I DON'T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, I CANNOT TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY. LIKE THEY SAY HERE IN COLOMBIA, GRACIAS Y UN ABRAZO

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