How can i deal with my sister in law when it comes to my daughter?

Beth - posted on 07/28/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My sister in law has a baby 2 weeks younger then mine and she has the tendcy to rub in what her son is doing compared to my daughter and its getting on my nerves what shell i do about it?

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Dora - posted on 08/08/2010

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Ignore her! Treat her as though she were a child because she is acting like one. Remember the more attention you give a child the more they tend to act out.

[deleted account]

Have a child 1 month older than my brother's child. (She's grown now) Don't sweat it. Sister-in-law is just jealous of you! Be the better mom, and don't stoop to her level. Let her have her thunder too. Smiles

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Boys develop at a completely different rate to girls, i have two young sons and my best friend has two young daughters and although we tried to compare our kids developments you just cant, some are faster at things than others. And if your sister inlaw still continues just tell her to 'get back in her box!' (you may of course want to be slightly more polite but speaking your mind can do wonders!)

Alison - posted on 08/09/2010

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Bring it up with her briefly. She may or may not change. If not, just leave the room every time she starts. She'll get the message.

Kristen - posted on 07/31/2010

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my daughter is one month older than my husbands nephew my sister in law is determianed to make me look like a baby mom just because i do things different the thing is when anyone does that it means they are insucure so talk to her and take a deep breath my sister in law has one child who just turned one in may and her youngest is just about four months so maybe your sister in law is just feeling what mine is over whelmed most moms get that way when thier babies are so close in age to another in the family they feel like maybe they are doing something wrong why is my baby doing this why and what and who and where dont worry as your kids get older it will most likely die off

Vianna - posted on 07/31/2010

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let her no how u feel.just tell her that her babyz & ur baby r 2 different kids so dont judge ur baby with what her dose.just tell her st8 out.

Julie - posted on 07/30/2010

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I feel you!! my niece is 9 hours older than my daughter!!! My uppity Brother and sister inlaw always pulled Which kid is more advanced game who is doing what thing. one day the two were drawing in the driveway with chalk my niece drew a beautiful tree and house and bird fabulous for a three year old mine drew a scribble mess my brother in his prideful goading way said "that's great girls Raigin what did you draw sweeeeeetie" his kid said "it is a our happy house and tree that shades us" he said" I can see that soooooo clearly and and Maggie? what do you have?" she looked at him like he was a fool and said " It is an abstract in the style of Kandinsky of course" It was the last time he played the lets compare game .
Just ignore her it will will play out...

Sue - posted on 07/29/2010

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a curt "Of course he is/does" when she compares how much better her son is. Smile and nod works too. Years from now you will be able to hold your head high at whatever your daughter does, while she will still be comparing how her son fits in with everyone around him. Sadly I see this (I work at a High School) and the students that have parents always pushing them and comparing them to everyone else are the most insecure, and seem to be the ones using/abusing drugs and doing whatever their influential peers do.
Your Sister in Law seems very insecure herself.

Amy - posted on 07/29/2010

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All babies develop differently. My sister in law had a little girl a year younger than Jonathan, it was fun and interesting comparing how they both did. My son crawled several months before she did, however she started talking before our son did (Even with a year difference at 1 she's talking more than my son does now at 2). My son hated being held and had to be on the floor moving around, yet his little cuz loves to be held and cuddle. Each child has different personalities and will develop there skills at different times. Try not to get too upset about it at the moment, and if it really bothers you just explain to her that you know they aren't developing each skill at exactly the same time and that it frustrates you when she rubs it in. Although I would say to let her know you'r still interested in how her little boy is doing, just with out the my kid is doing better than your kid tone.

Becky - posted on 07/29/2010

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All babies develop differently in different ways, it means nothing really. My cousin & I had girls 4 months apart - my daughter started crawling and walking before her daughter. They started talking about the same time, but her daughter was up to full sentences long before my daughter. They hit different mile stones at different times, but her daughter is no better or worse then my daughter (and vis versa). They each have things now (they are 9 now) that they are better than the other girl. My cousin daughter can read better, my daughter is more sensitive to other peoples emotions.

Children shouldn't be compared to each other . . . . it just sets them up for failure. Tell your sister in law that. It won't ever matter whose kid started sitting up first or crawling first. Each kid will hit their mile stones at times, but they will all get there, when they are ready.

Esme - posted on 07/28/2010

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Ask her why she is so insecure in her child and herself that she has to compare her baby with yours?
Does she do this with everyone or just you, because she will lose friends and family that way.
Let your brother know that she is being terribly rude and that she is also being disrespectful to his niece when she does it, maybe she'll listen to him.

She may stop then and realize she's being petty and you and she have to get along for many years to come.

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