How do I get my 2 1/2 yr old son to listen to me?

Randi - posted on 01/27/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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He listens to dad just fine but when it comes to me...nothing works. He hits and kicks and throws things at me. I dont know what to do any more. I have tried timeout Spankings talking...nothing seems to work ...PLEASE HELP!!!

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Danielle - posted on 01/27/2009

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No offense but "Stop talking", you cannot rationalize with a 2 year old or even sometimes a 12 year old! What is dad doing that works?

Some general tips: Give choices, limit it to two at this point, when you can. (Do you want to wear this shirt or that shirt holding up choices) When he DOES NOT have a choice like "clean up your toys" DO NOT give choices state clearly simply "Put your toys away." don't say something like "are you ready to clean up now?" b/c it implies a choice. If he begins to hit or throw things do not put him in a time out because he is getting out of cleaning up toys which is what he wants :) ! If you can, without talking walk over and "help him pick up the toys" by putting your hands on top of his hands and having him pick up a toy and putting it into a box. He will probably not like this and begin to do it on his own so that you don't do it again. if you cannot do that chunk up the "big chore" of pick up the toys into VERY SMALL chores such as "Pick up that block and put it in this tub" give him verbal praise at each step. Also, 5 minutes before cleanup time give him a "warning" by saying we will clean up in 5 minutes when the timer goes off, SET a Timer for 5 minutes, when it goes off start singing BARNEY "Clean-up, clean-up everybody everywhere..." and begin cleaning up with him. Or Have him "race the timer" say "do you think you can get this all done in 5 minutes let's see?"

Time outs work only if you want him to "stop" doing something like teasing sibling, asking repeatedly for an item, or anything else in the "annoying" category. If you have just told him to do something or "start" something a time out will not work because they are getting out of doing whatever you just told them to do even if only for a short amount of time.

Good News you are ahead of the game! I ran into the same problem around 3-4 years old with my son, but I did not have a husband that was being successful, and you do. Also, with a few tweaks you should be able to get your son listening to you, too in a short amount of time. Do it now because you don't want to try to get him listen to you when he is 14 and is doing something MUCH worse. Good luck!

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Randi - posted on 01/27/2009

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Thank you Danielle everything you said makes sence!! I try this and see how it turns out!! Thank you so much. This is the best help anyones has given me! 

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