How do i get over the depresion, it feels like i don't have time for my kids

9 Comments

View replies by

User - posted on 02/13/2009

15

8

4

I work full-time and have an hour commute each way, so I'm gone from 7 am to 6 pm every day. And I take part-time college classes. With all of this going on, and then having to do things like housework and cooking and everything, I felt like I really didn't spend any time with my daughter.



So that I have more time with my daughter and spend less time doing things like housework, I hired a cleaning person. She cleans my house thoroughly top to bottom every two weeks. I spot vaccuum in between. It saves all that weekend time of having to clean. It is an expense, and I know not everyone can afford it, but to me it was worth it to then have that extra time to spend with my daughter.



Oh, and about the depression - check with your doctor and make sure you don't have clinical depression. I did have post-partum depression, and even tho my daughter is now 19 months old, my doctor doesn't want to take me off of the meds for the depression because there is so much going on in my life she is afraid I could have a relapse. Clinical depression isn't as rare as people would like to make you think, and there is nothing to be ashamed of about it.

Jaimie - posted on 02/13/2009

58

8

7

I feel all of your pain. I am a working mom with two kids. Both my husband & i own our own companies...needless to say, we are very busy sometimes. I don't feel like a bad mom for doing what is best for my family. I try to make the most of the time I have with them, I make sure that I am the one that takes them to and from their activities & I sponge up every moment with them. It is not the time spent with them, but the quality of the time & the memories you make along the way. Foe example, at 7:00 pm last night night, my kids & I started making the valentine cupcakes for each of their classrooms & the admin staff. (72 stinkin cupcakes) because it was already so late we decided to do simple ones with white icing & a foil wrapped chocolate on top. The whole process took about 2 hours, i had to finish them myself with bedtimes & all..anyway, my daughter said, making the cupcakes for the special occasions is one of her favorite things to do with me. To me it was a chore..."darn cupcakes" but as a mom I need to make the kids feel special by doing it for all the "events" so last night was a real eye opener for me, sure I had my best mom face on, I was enthusiastic (dying of exhausion inside), and looking at the floor that needed to be swept, when my daughter said that, My heart was truly touched, here is a memory she will remember, a tradition she will maybe do with her kids and I wasn't even trying. Anyway sorry I am a talker, so the moral of the story is, we don't always know what is special to them and we don't always know what does & does not bug them all I know is that they will remember all of the fun things we do, and all of the effort we put in, I don't think that they will be scarred from spending time at a sitters house, after all the sitter you have chosen is probably making lasting memories as well. Let yourself off the hook, you are doing what you need to do for the betterment & survival of your family. Don't let all those stay at home moms discourage you either many of them may as well be at work as they spend much of their days ignoring kids by cleaning & watching Oprah!

April - posted on 02/12/2009

50

6

6

it just working or life depressed? Working with kids is tough but its almost necessary this day and age. I consider talking to someone or even medicaion if it is more than just a short down time, doesn't mean you a bad mom! The fact that you do feel like a bad mom shows that you care enough and are not!! remember that

[deleted account]

You are not alone.  It's hard to leave, but you have to do what is best for your family.  For my family we need two incomes to make it.  Like the other mom's have said enjoy the time you have with you children and the house work can wait, babys can't.  With my first baby I let myself get VERY depressed.  Now, I accept the fact that I work and I am setting a postive example for my children. Your kids love you regarless of whether you have a job or not.

Maria - posted on 02/12/2009

72

13

4

When it overwhelms me - I take my girls to a fun place like a childrens museum or a kid-friendly restaraunt - when money is tight - I take all of the pillows & blankets from the house - pile them up on the living room floor, put on some fun dance music, and jump off the couches while we have dinner on the floor picnic style. The hardest part for me is forgetting about laundry, dishes, phone calls, etc. and REALLY focussing on the girls.



Don't you just wish "stay at home mom" was a government job that paid?

Amy - posted on 02/12/2009

1,761

18

250

I don't have depression but I feel horible not being able to be home with my son very often.  I work full time and commute (about 1 hour each way) so I"m gone from 6am - 5pm.  I only see my son for about 3 hours a day (and some days he takes a nap when I get home so I just see him for an hour). 



What I've started to do is take a look at things i can do to help decrease that feeling.  My husband does so much to help out with everything it makes me feel like when I get home from work that's my time with my son, and his time to have a break from him (even if it means doing work around the house)



It's so hard to spend as much time with your kids as you really want to, but you just have to look at how they are.  Our son is usiually so happy that I'm not worried anymore.

Evil - posted on 02/12/2009

2

6

0

I know the feeling. I feel the same every day too. But like Michelle said, don't let guilt eat you up. You are doing what you have to do. Just enjoy every moment you have with your girl. With my 3 kids, I like leaving them little love notes around the house ... sort of my way telling them that they are not forgotten and that I love them dearly. They liked it and I too now receive love notes (from them) - its makes my day! Hope that helps.

Michelle - posted on 02/11/2009

3

24

0

My suggestion- don't let guilt eat up your enjoyment of your kids and your life. Just do your best to have quality time with the kids and enjoy every moment you have with them. The most important thing is that they know you love them. It's hard to walk out the door when my two year old is begging me to stay home with her, but I know that she is in good hands and that I'm doing what I have to do to take care of her by going to work. I just try to make the most of every moment I have with her and tell the guilty thoughts to get away! I hope this helps a bit!

Laura - posted on 02/11/2009

6

3

1

I don't think I have depression, but I do feel like a terrible mom because it seems like I never see my daughter.  It's very hard walking out the door to go to work but I just keep telling myself that I'm not a bad mom because I'm leaving - I'm a good mom because I'm doing what my little family needs me to do.  I'm sorry I'm not offering any advice, just commiserating but you're not alone and working while taking care of your kids is really hard!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms