How do you handle a one year old that whines constantly for just about any reason???

Krystal - posted on 04/05/2010 ( 23 moms have responded )

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My one year old whines about not getting his way, getting his diaper changed, if I don't help him because he fell down, when a toy doesn't work the way he wants it too, pretty much all the time I hear whinning and it's drivign me nuts! Anyone have any suggestions?

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Dawn - posted on 04/09/2010

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ignore the whines and tell him to ask nicely otherwise you won't help, you do have to be cruel to be kind

Julia - posted on 04/11/2010

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Do you give in to him or try to console him? I agree with the ignoring it replies. I have 5 kids and no whiners. Never give in. Whenever they tried that I told them "Sorry, I no speaka do Wineese." They didn't get to have my attention untill they spoke in a normal voice.

Lisa - posted on 04/08/2010

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Have you looked into food and chemical allergies? My son is allergic to Flouride and Xylitol (which is in the multivitamin and toothpaste we used). The whining has reduced to a managable level.

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If you want it to stop, you need to make sure you don't reward the behavior. You can ignore the whining and not do what he's asking for until he stops. While that's ok to do, it doesn't really communicate to him what you really want to say. You should say to him "when you stop whining I will give you your cup" and only give him the cup when he stops. Be sure to give lots of praise when he's not whining too. Good luck! It will get better : )

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Jessica - posted on 02/19/2013

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I see this post is very old, but I am having the same problem, I have tried everything.. I try to ignore him and he gets so mad that he will start crying, ill ignore it(not long at all) and he will start getting so up set that he acts like he can't breathe so of course I try to make it better and as soon as I pick him up its as nothing ever happened.
Driving me crazy.
He used to be so good about everything but the older he gets the worse he gets Iike the whining and now just out if no where he won't sleep through the night.
I've taken him to the doctor to get checked in case something was wrong but she said he is perfectly fine.
Any ideas?!

Bridget - posted on 04/10/2010

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I have three kids, I tell them I don't understand whinning words. If you want to talk to me you need to use your big boy voice. I say nothing after that, I do not say anything until they use the big voice. Even if they are whinning my name I do not respond until they use their voice. It works, but you need to be ready to take the noise!

Fredricka - posted on 04/09/2010

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show more luv, attention n paly time mom,ur child will get better.:)))

Mileidy - posted on 04/09/2010

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I have tried whining back and it has actually worked as well. He still whines but I just ignore it. My husband punishes him for whining and that works for him. Everyone has their way...in my house we have used a lot of them at a time and it really works

Jennifer - posted on 04/09/2010

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LOL! I threw myself on the floor and whined just like my daughter and hence it never happend again. She thought I was nuts! I hear you on the whining...we have a no-whining household. It's actually a rule. No one will listen if the person whines instead of talks it. I guess I am lucky b/c it worked. Good luck to you!!!!!

Diana - posted on 04/09/2010

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I used to tell my son (and still sometimes do at 4 years old!) that I don't understand him when he whines so I can't help with whatever he was asking for. He quickly asked in a normal tone after that.

JUDI - posted on 04/08/2010

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I agree with the ignore theory. My 11 month old is getting terrible at the whining. I don't feel it is a medical issue. It's an issue that she has discovered if I whine alot mommy will give me what I want. Now I have to repair that damage and ignore her until she isn't whining.

Diane - posted on 04/08/2010

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Let him whine....don't give to much attention to it or it'll never stop. I have four kids and one is 11 months old. I hate whining but if I give any attention to it, it continues, if I ignore it, it's better. The diaper changing is hard just learn to do it quit and let the baby know we HAVE to do this. He is old enough to understand "no", trust me, mine does. So when he whines, try a strict "no", we have to change your diaper...almost done...almost done, keep telling him that. But the attention seeking whining, try and ignore....try it for a week and see if he tends to go off and get distracted.

Michelle - posted on 04/07/2010

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When he whines....dont react to him. Thats what he wants you to do. Ignore him. Simple. He will eventually get the point. He will learn that whining doesnt get mommy's attention. Be consistent.

Herna - posted on 04/07/2010

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I believe one-year-olds whining means they are just right on time with their development! haha...my 15 month old has also discovered how to whine...LOUDLY. I asked our doctor about it and she mentioned that the best you can do is just remain patient and start modeling for them how to ask for something they want without whining. Get down to their level and ask what they want in a calm voice instead of picking them up right away. It does take some time..but the idea is that they will hopefully start modeling what you are showing them how to ask for things. We're trying this now, so it's definitely something new that we're trying. We'll see how it works!

For diaper changes, I think distraction is still the best tool for us. I give her something to hold that I'm holding (like a diaper) and ask her to help me change her diaper. She probably thinks it's special because she's become more involved in her diaper changing as supposed to just laying there and waiting...even though she's not actually changing her own diaper..she's mimicking us. Hope that helps!! :)

Michelle - posted on 04/06/2010

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I agree with some of the other comments in ignoring it. Say it cause a toy won't work wait till whining has stopped and then say mommy show u how to do it and show them. just an example. The more attention u give to it the worse it will get. My 5yr old whines alot but she can talk!!! She also knows she won't get anything or a reply untill she speaks to me properly. Good luck x

Louise - posted on 04/06/2010

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My 4 year old still has whiny moments. I have to say that the form that i find works most is to ignore it. If he whines or throws tantrums i just act like hes not there but ten if he asks in a normal voice i immediately help.
I don't agree with time outs for less than the most serious of bad behaviour as they lose their effectiveness the more often they're used. If i put my son in timeout everytime he whined he'd never be out of the corner

Ashley - posted on 04/06/2010

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Whenever there is bad behavior put him in time out all alone with no noise, may sound like torture but sometimes kids don't learn self-soothing within the first few months this tends to happen. If he's mad about a toy or he fell down you have to bite your lip and let him learn on his own, I fully understand wanting to do everything for your child, but have learned if they don't figure out the everyday stuff on their own problems arise later such as simple things like asking you for all the answers to horrible situations like never being able to separate himself into an individual and be self sufficient. As far as the diaper, start potty training, get pullups and "make" him change his own pee diapers and come to you for poop. I did this with my daughter and it was the greatest thing, she had to tell me everytime she did it and I watched but she learned to take care of her self and was potty trained very early because of it. Now every kid is different so you'll have to find "incentives" to begin the process, we used potty partys but there are plenty of ways to help him find his own way. If he has issues with it then you'll have to make a decision on how to punish. When my daughter acted up I swatted her on her thigh, diapers have so much padding she didn't care, and just enough to slightly sting but be gone in a sec. She realized mommy means business and no messing with me or else. To this day I have to say I brag about it but I am so happy I made the decision to force her to do things on her own, she has truly blossomed into a wonderful little girl, she even wants clean the floors and bathroom on her own LOL

Alison - posted on 04/06/2010

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My daughter has always been a whiner, but I don't remember what it was like at one! When she was about two I started modeling correct behavior. She would whine and I would say "Mommy, could I have..." with a happy tone of voice and she had to repeat after me to get whatever she wanted. It has been a long process and she still has a tendency to whine, but she has the tools to communicate effectively and appropriately when she chooses to (especially when I remind her).

Meryl - posted on 04/06/2010

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PS. The diaper issue- how about trying 'first diaper, then....' so he has a 'carrot' and something to think about while getting changed, and then the treat when he is changed? you can fade this out when diaper changing is no longer a problem by reducing the size of the treat until he doesn't need any treat or the treat is replaced naturally by a positive, interactive and fun time with you!

Meryl - posted on 04/06/2010

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This is a tricky one! I wonder how you are feeling towards him? If, being driven nuts you are feeling negative, this can be a downward spiral and you may see negativity reflected back (whining). Is it difficult to be there when he falls down or when his toy is not working, with perhaps a sense of humour to help him laugh not whine? (this is a genuine question, not sarcasm). He may be pushing the boundaries to see how far he can go and although they need boundaries, they need your attention too. How about sitting with him when he whines and wait calmly, without talking or looking at him and the moment he stops give him LOADS of attention (hugs, tickles or simply do what he has been asking, like help with the toy) but do this when he stops whining so he learns that there is another way he can get your attention. He may not be able to communicate effectively through words and has learnt this whining as a form of communication. make sure you respond to all his verbal attempts to ask for help/ attention so he learns that speaking is worthwhile. He may be crying out for your attention. Then again, I may be completely on the wrong track!!

Samantha - posted on 04/05/2010

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I just wanted to let you know that I totally relate to your situation. My one year old is constantly whining; he doesn't cry...he whines...I have found that just ignoring him and finding something else to do in another room, such as housework, usually does the trick. He will find something else to preoccupy himself.

Leslie - posted on 04/05/2010

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just a suggestion.. leave the room for a minute and then peek in and see how he handles it. some kids need to handle things on their own. and does he have croup? hope i spelled that right.

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