how many moms out there pay child support?

Judy - posted on 07/08/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

2

2

0

I can't find a support group for mothers who pay child support, It would comfort me to know that I'm not the only one out here struggling to support my ex- husband, I mean my kids. No, I really mean my ex- husband and his wife and son.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Dwane - posted on 11/20/2013

1

0

0

lol everyone is calling their ex husbands abusers. If they were really abusers and you had them charged with domestic violence no judge would ever give them custody. If you are too stupid to report abuse then you don't deserve to raise a child anyway, and its good that your money is going to someone who does.

Erin - posted on 09/02/2013

1

0

0

Hi I'm glad I found this! I'm getting sued for child support and am in contempt of court right now because they wanted me to pay $150 a week when I was not employed. I owe my abusive millionaire ex 5k in child support. I have court in 2 weeks and I just got a job but they will probably garnish my whole check and revoke my license. My ex won custody because he had $$$$$. I do not have a criminal record and I'm a great mom. The system is for $$$$ so if you don't have money to pay an attorney you're screwed. And it seems more abusive fathers are winning custody of their children. I don't understand but it's an unfair system.

CHASSITY - posted on 11/20/2012

4

0

1

I AM A SINGLE MOTHER PAYING CHILD SUPPORT ,,,,,,AND ITS HARD TRYING TO SUPPORT MY HOUSEHOLD WITH EVERY PAYCHECK GETTING GARNISHED....TRUST ME ITS NOT EASY.

I'm - posted on 03/18/2014

1

0

0

I am being sued for child support. I have not delt with my home state on it because I only have my ID there and do not live there right now and because I no longer have my PO BOX, they can't do anything because there is no order. I don't keep an address and won't let them find me because my son was taken from me by one state, the father left, and is in another state, and I live in a commonwealth state. So... It's messy. The problem is he gets WELFARE. He also has another child he pays welfare child support for. I make over 70k not including my business SCorp tax. I will not be settling anything in court. Bottom line. Under NO circumstances. So I don't know what he's going to do but welfare won't get a dime from me because right now, they have no address.

Gisele - posted on 11/18/2013

1

0

0

well, I pay child support to the child's dad and I am raising the child on my own! We went for 50/50 custody and me paying support b/c I make more money and now I have the child 90% of the time (he doesn't like being with his dad) and I still pay support! what a scam!!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

24 Comments

View replies by

Kristina - posted on 05/21/2014

1

0

0

I can completely relate so what some of you are saying. I lost both my daughters to my ex in 2000 because he was so mentally (and physically) abusive that I went through a bad post partum depression at the time of our divorce. I couldn't take care of myself very well, much less two kids, one a baby, so he got custody. There's no way I can afford an attorney to get the 14 year old back and legal aid isn't for someone like me who isn't a criminal. I keep up with child support best I can, but get behind because of some unfortunate luck with jobs. I AM going to school full time to get a degree, make better money, and hopefully get my daughter back. Good luck to each of you moms, I know its tough being a mother and having an awful man take care of your kids.

Angelique - posted on 05/09/2014

1

0

0

i pay child support because I tried to get help for the child we adopted. he molest the child, so we left the state, He got court order to give the child to him. When we adopted the cedar rapids courts did no background on him, he was not clear of 5yrs of domestic violence on someone else. I am ordered to pay him child support more than I make. He gets away with he does not even let me see the child and the human service refuse to do an assessment to see who molest the child, since he blames my brother.Now I am homeless because I refuse to pay him to have sexual relations with that child. Next year I might have to die because I will freeze in the cold if I do not have my car to sleep in

Sharon - posted on 04/12/2014

1

0

0

I left my abusive ex husband in 2004. I was 20 and already had 3 kids. He came and got them one day and me thinking i was getting a little break didnt know that he wasnt going to give them back. Fast forward to 2005, i get served with child support papers and his mothers name is on there. I didnt see my ex name no wher on this paper. I was ordered to pay $230 a month. My ex caused me to lose the good job that i had a year earlier and i was still unemployed.
Through the years, i paid what i could but that never satisfied what i owed. I also have been buying school, Christmas, birthday, and just because. There is no courts involved, just this child support. I have been going to the grandparents home (who i pay support to) to see them. Over a year or so ago, i found out later that my kids dont live with her. They live with my ex now. Ive tried numerous times to get a decrease and let CS know the situation but im not getting any answers.
Now i have a 7 yr old and a 9 yr old that i have to take care of. In Dec.2013 , i got hired at a job! Finally, my whole situation was about to change. So i thought. January 2014 my money started getting missing. They were taking 80% of my paycheck. So now im begging the landlord to let us stay and im on my last extention for lights this year.
Im stressed, depressed, and just dont know what to do. My sons are now 12, 14, 15. This has been going on so long that im at my wits end. I dont see them unless i go over there and then i have to wait for them to come. I get no phone calls, cant take them anywhere...im just ready to give up my rights, keep my money so i can properly raise the two i do have. I dont want to do that, but what else is there to do? I have no money for lawyers. Im at my wits end with this. Can SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME?

FQ - posted on 03/28/2014

1

0

0

I am a single dad. I feel dad with custody of my 3 children. I feel bad for anyone who pays child support for people who don't deserv it. I also feel that the system still has a long way to go. I make more money than my ex, but that does not mean that she has lost all responsibility to help with the expense of raising a child or children. I asked the court to step in 8 months ago and so far there is no progress. I hear you guys complaint, but if I didn't get custody of my kids, I would be the one paying child support while the kid's mos is out spending it with her new significant other mean while the kids go without clothes and many other necesities. She is a good mom, but she is really bad with money and whith what I make, if I had to pay her child support, I would be supporting her whole family to include her BF.

Judy - posted on 11/24/2013

2

2

0

to Dwane Johnson, do you understand what it's like to be the mother of young defenseless children? Not only is the abuser intimidating the children, he/she is also intimidating the mother of the children. These abusers will NOT show their bad behavior in front of a judge or case worker! I know this because my ex-husband's wife mentally abused my two children for years! She was evaluated by a court psychiatrist, and a court counselor, and managed to charm her way through to helping my ex get school year custody of my children. My children are adults now, and they tell me of the horrible time they had growing up in that house with her! She was ALWAYS yelling at them.
I was tempted many times to call social services, but I knew, I KNEW that she would cake them over with lies and eventually hurt MY children as a punishment for my interference. Which she did mentally whenever I tried to intervene in her parenting atrocities.
Dwane, THINK before you post a negative comment on such an emotional subject with women!

Amy - posted on 11/23/2013

5

0

0

I'm in the same predicament, except her dad watches her while I work. But I have to pay $73 a month and am behind $174 because they took forever taking it out of my check. So now they are taking out $88, and he does not support and never has supported her financially, he has just watched her because I have always worked full time and he has no job. System is a HUGE SCAM.

Amber - posted on 11/22/2013

1

0

0

Omg wow all these comments I can relate to. In 2005 I was involved in domestic violence with my x the children were taken away by the children's Aid Society here in Canada Ontario. The children were back in my full custody in 2006 C.A.S forced me to give the father visitation which I did not like. After visitation started my two children became violent with me slap,punch spit and call names. When I mentioned this to Children's Aid they said I was making up lies to get at the father. :/ I was so puzzled I became very depressed lost a lot of weight and began taking sleeping pills with an anti depression mixed. I was battling C.A.S and my x. I was with him for 7 years my children are 10 and 8 now and he still stalks me. I make a police report when he threatens me and calls my work. I try to get a restraining order but the courts say my life is not at risk. Now he's on social assistance defrauding the system by having a room mate pay him $400 for rent and having his new fiancée live with him splinting everything in half while living in housing and paying $85 dollars for a 5 bedroom home. His family support worker is taking me to court and ordering me to pay $500 a month to him while he sits on welfare living large as he posts drugs on his Facebook and a stack of money. I bring these pictures to the police and they do nothing! NOTHING! I can't believe the system and how they are and how they don't care. I will scream to the media if I must!

Beverly - posted on 07/12/2013

1

0

0

My ex husband won custody of our son in 2005 due to him contesting pretty much everything in our divorce decree as well as having the most money at the time we went to court. It also didn't help that my attorney quit on me about 2 weeks before our court date and decided go from family law to personal injury.I pretty much didn't have a leg to stand on because if my ex husband ran out of money, there was always his family to back him up and offer him more money by taking out a second mortgage on their home and what not.
I have been paying child support ever since and my ex hhusband has made my life a living hell. He also changed in our divorce decree my visitation rights which are not every other weekend. They are the two days I am off from work with 48 hour notice which he continuously denies unless of course it is convenient for him.
He also tells my son that I do absolutely nothing for him. He brags to his co-workers that I pay child support. The way I know is because we work for the same company and news travels fast. He has his friends and family believing as well that I do nothing for my son so they of course feel sorry for him and down grade me in front of my son. It is so messed up because there is so much more to tell and I have often been told that I should write a book about it.
I often get asked by others why I don't custody of my son. People often think that if a mother doesn't have her children, it is due to her having a criminal record or a drug addiction. Well in my case, that is highly untrue. I have absolutely nothing on my record, not even a speeding ticket. I have been on my same job for nearly 20 years now and I am an AWESOME mother!
Beverly

Faye - posted on 02/12/2013

483

43

135

My cousin's ex is supposed to pay him each month BUT because she works under the table, he gets nothing.

Kathryn - posted on 02/09/2013

2

0

0

Women are paying child support because there was federal legislation signed to expand non-custodial timeshare in 2009.

Kristene - posted on 11/23/2012

1

2

0

I was just looking up this topic online and found this post, even though it's 3 years old. I pay child support to my ex, and my son is high-functioning autistic, so I may never get the relief of support payments stopping. He allows me very little contact with my son and when I question him, he blames it on his "disability", which when he is with me, no one can even tell he is on the spectrum. My son is about as normal as any other kid his age and has the ability, IMO, to lead a normal life. His father, on the other hand, wants to see him live his life as a vegetable so he can milk the government for as much assistance as he can, and cash my checks,too. He lawyered up with the county legal aid when we broke up, so I did not even have the option of getting help when I was served papers. He got everything he wanted, including awarding me no visitation, and if I ever want court-ordered visits, I have to hire a parenting time expeditor, which is a fancy title for specialty lawyer($$$$$$$$$) Dad will dangle the carrot and be generous with visits when he doesn't want to deal with him, or when he wants me to buy him something, but when he has "plans" or doesn't need his hand in my pocket to fish for money, I get denied. I have had my license revoked, my checks garnished, and lost at least 4 years of income tax returns. His father does not seem to care how this affects me, or care if I have a relationship with my son, so long as he gets his check every month. I doubt anyone will read this, and this is long, but you are not alone, but we are few and far between.

CHASSITY - posted on 11/20/2012

4

0

1

HERE IN VIRGINIA ITS A PROGRAM I BELIEVE JUST STARTED CALL PAWS..... DON'T HAVE MUCH INFO ON IT BUT I DO KNOW IT HELP FATHERS THAT HAVING A HARD TIME GETTING JOBS AND PAYING THERE CHILD SUPPORT..IT ALSO PUTS A FREEZE ON ANY PAYMENTS THAT NEED TO BE PAID OR ANY BACK PAY THAT'S DUE........I JUST WANNA KNOW IF THE SAME PROGRAMS SUPPORT THE MOTHERS THAT'S PAYING AND BEHIND AS WELL? IT WAS TOLD TO ME BY ONE OF MY KIDS FATHER...IT WAS HELP AND IV BEEN SEARCHING LADIES FOR AND AS SOON AS I COME CROSS THE CORRECT INFO ILL SHARE IT.

Carolyn - posted on 08/31/2012

46

11

7

Judy, I do! I've been paying it since june 2012 - 60% of my paycheck goes to my abuser because he won custody of all our children. I'm glad im not the only one either!!!!!

Edie - posted on 07/06/2012

1

0

0

Would love to chat with the moms here who pay child support.
I have my 3 yrs old daughter 60% of the time, and pay ex a little each month.
He is unemployed and a recent graduate from a master's program here in FL.
Hope to chat with someone out there!

Carolina - posted on 02/23/2011

1

3

0

I am a mom who pays child support and I'm having a hard time finding a support group as well.

Melissa - posted on 07/08/2009

268

18

41

it's not often you here of a woman paying child support well at least not where im from....good luck and all the best.....

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms