how to be a very successful mother
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Gina - posted on 06/26/2012
I have been a single mother of my first for 8 years and now my son 2 years of that...there is NO secret but you just do what you need to do NO matter what...i raise my kids to be totally indepentent! my daugher now is 13 and my son is 3 very good well balanced children. They both know the importance of LOVE and FAMILY. do what you can for your children they will appreciate you for doing your best!!!! Be strong and loving is my advice...Good luck and prosper! give god a lot of glory and count ALL your blessings for he will guide you if you let him!
Evi - posted on 06/24/2012
I too want to thank you for the comments for I am a single mom too and after a nine year failed mariage, new mom and fulltime management job I'm quite busy. Like the comments below, I agree that there's not just one way. But I do take a moment after her bed time to reflect on my day and how I could have managed better. Everyday I'm learning. But one thing I learned quick is that its easy to give into ur stress and snap at your kid when they make a mess or are not listening. But its harder and WAY worth it if you take a moment first to take a breath, then get down to their level and calmly explain what they did wrong etc.
Just focus on your childer first. Everything else can be fixed or taken care of later.
There is no one way to do it, you just have to try different ways of managing things until you figure out what works for you.
For me, I compartmentalize. When J was young, I tried combining work and family by hiring a live in nanny and working from home so that I could be with J and at work at the same time, but that totally did not work.
From that, I learned to compartmentalize my life--when i am at work, I am at work, and I am 100% focused on work. When I am at home, I am at home, and 100% focused on home, but home is divided into 3 compartments. I know it is often difficult to leave work at work, but it's an important skill to learn--you kid will notice if you are more interested in the email on your phone than the drawings she is trying to show you or the little show she is putting on for you.
My home compartments: Me, J, Home.
Me is the time I give myself--it is the part of my day dedicated to making sure I don't loose who I am by submerging myself too deeply into my roles at work and as J's mom. I listen to music, read books, socialize with friends, exercise, and engage in my own hobbies, such as hiking, rafting, etc. Some days i don't have time for Me, but some days are dedicated entirely to the Me compartment--like if I know I'm going to go away all day Saturday on a day hike, I will spend extra time on J during the week to make up for it.
J is the time I spend with J, my son. I ALWAYS, without fail, make at least an hour a day for this, and most days I go for at least 2. I like to split the time in half. The first half, I let J decide what we do, what we talk about--he is in complete control. I learn a lot about him during that time. Then the second half, I spend on educational activities, like reading, practicing TKD, or playing a game. During my J time, all phones and computers are turned OFF. No exceptions unless someone I love is deathly ill.
Home time is for household chores. During the winter, when I work full time, I hire a housekeeper to handle most of that, but I still have to deal with J's homework (while homework is directly linked to J, I do not consider it part of the J time because it is a task and not a relationship builder), cooking dinner, that cleanup, laundry, shopping and other errands. Generally, I look at the week ahead and fit the errands and cleaning in on less busy days. That way, if Monday is crazy, my hampers are full, and my house looks haunted from all the dust, I don't have to stress about not getting it all done on Monday, the laundry and dust will wait until Tuesday without killing us.
HTH, good luck!
Amy - posted on 06/21/2012
By doing the best that you can! I don't think there is any one thing that makes someone a great mom. Being a parent is about making sacrifices whether you work or stay home, it's about doing what you have to in order to provide for your kids, sometimes you have to say no. It's about raising your kids to become independent adults who are able to take care of themselves. And obviously it's about learning from your own mistakes and being able to use them as teachable moments for your kids.
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