how to go out on a date without...feeling gulity my child is at home?

Cynthia - posted on 08/28/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I had a planned date...I explained to my 3 yr old that, i would be going out and would come home soon. My niece 17 yrs would watch her in my home..But when it came tme for me to leave, my daughter started crying and began to vomit ...this was the 1st time ever! I couldn't get myself to walk out...so I decide to stay with her...I gave her a bath, read her a story and we went to sleep...Best Date Ever!

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Anita - posted on 09/02/2009

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My DH and I only go on dates when his parents are visiting (from a different country). We don't feel guilty at all about it because happy parents mean happy home and happy family. I know how easy it is to feel guilty, but it's not like your going on dates every night.

Once a month or so, I also have a girls night out with some friends. I tend to think of those times as times when DD and DH can bond without me and I get to enjoy my girlfriend time.

FYI-My DD is 19 months old.

Terrie - posted on 09/02/2009

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You need time for yourself just as you need time with your child but if you do something for you once in awhile you will so much more appreciate the time you do have with your child and I would also suggest leaving them with a TRUSTED family member while you did a simple errand and they will start to realize you ARE coming back!

Stacey - posted on 09/01/2009

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So I know that I am a very lucky woman being able to have my mom watch my 6 1/2 mo. old when I go to work- but I also can leave my Sugie with her Grammy when me and her daddy go on a date. Ive found that the consistency is very helpful especially because structure is what babies strive on. In your case- I would keep using your neice as your sitter so that your little one will have someone to attach to and eventually, there will be a time when your daughter will look forward to hanging out with her cousin.

Cynthia - posted on 08/31/2009

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Thanks Amber...



this was truly the best date...my daughter is my world and i would never put anyone before her. we share an amazing bound... But i also know that as parents we need time for ourselves. I managed to plan it a little different and I had better results, I prepared her hours ahead of time that mommy would be going out and that again my niece would watch her...to my surprice it worked! She was fine when it came time for me to leave, I reminded her that i would be back soon and that I love her...WOW!  too my surprice it was me that couldn't wait to come and see my baby....has this happend to you?



 



~Cynthia~



 



Quoting Amber:

aww, i'm so sorry you and your daughter had to experience an episode like that. i found it easier to go when my son was napping. though i did start leaving him w/family at an earlier age he still whinned but no where near to this point. my suggestion would be to make your date a late night movie for the first few times out. keep your evening routine with your daughter so she doesn't feel like you are leaving her. its still awkward for me at times when my bf and i take time to ourselves even now that my son is 4; we've been dating for 2 yrs now and its gotten easier. my bf and i do things with my son but thats because it's a more serious relationship now. once you get to that point of introducing them to each other things get a little easier so you dont feel as guilty about leaving one for the other. ALTHOUGH...at times I still feel that way, I've learned that it's okay to make time for others just as long as you keep your priorities in line, your child will always know where they stand and how much you love them. Good luck with your parenting and dating adventure! :)





 

Danielle - posted on 08/28/2009

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I have a six and a half month old.... I haven't yet gone out on a real date since I had her so I definitely can relate :) I feel bad even when I have to leave her at daycare in the morning ( I am gone from her for 12 hours a day for work) and it is hard so I can definitely relate. I am sorry you weren't able to enjoy your date! It can be hard but you sound like a great Mom! Keep up the great work!

Amber - posted on 08/28/2009

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aww, i'm so sorry you and your daughter had to experience an episode like that. i found it easier to go when my son was napping. though i did start leaving him w/family at an earlier age he still whinned but no where near to this point. my suggestion would be to make your date a late night movie for the first few times out. keep your evening routine with your daughter so she doesn't feel like you are leaving her. its still awkward for me at times when my bf and i take time to ourselves even now that my son is 4; we've been dating for 2 yrs now and its gotten easier. my bf and i do things with my son but thats because it's a more serious relationship now. once you get to that point of introducing them to each other things get a little easier so you dont feel as guilty about leaving one for the other. ALTHOUGH...at times I still feel that way, I've learned that it's okay to make time for others just as long as you keep your priorities in line, your child will always know where they stand and how much you love them. Good luck with your dating adventure! :)

Amber - posted on 08/28/2009

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aww, i'm so sorry you and your daughter had to experience an episode like that. i found it easier to go when my son was napping. though i did start leaving him w/family at an earlier age he still whinned but no where near to this point. my suggestion would be to make your date a late night movie for the first few times out. keep your evening routine with your daughter so she doesn't feel like you are leaving her. its still awkward for me at times when my bf and i take time to ourselves even now that my son is 4; we've been dating for 2 yrs now and its gotten easier. my bf and i do things with my son but thats because it's a more serious relationship now. once you get to that point of introducing them to each other things get a little easier so you dont feel as guilty about leaving one for the other. ALTHOUGH...at times I still feel that way, I've learned that it's okay to make time for others just as long as you keep your priorities in line, your child will always know where they stand and how much you love them. Good luck with your parenting and dating adventure! :)

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