how to tell my children that there nonna is dieing and they wont see her again?

Stephanie - posted on 11/06/2009

thankyou everyone for your suggestions i will keep all these in mind when i explain it to my 5 year old. it is a hard thing to share your stories and ty very much. all this help is much appreciated once again ty all.

Lyn - posted on 11/06/2009

Im so sorry this must be so hard for you! my nanna died when I was very young also and I remember my mum telling me that she had become a star. We picked out what star she was in the sky and they told me alough I couldnt see or hear her she could hear me and I could talk to her whenever I wanted. Although I was sad because I wouldnt see her it helped me understand a little better. Also how bout making a memory box filled with pictures and drawings that reminds them of her when they are feeling sad. I hope this helps. x

Michele - posted on 11/05/2009

I'm sorry to hear about your coming lose...I have 2 kids, 13 and 15 and their grandma died 2 years ago, suddenly...we never saw it coming...she was only 54. It was very difficult to tell my children she had passed, they were very upset and didn't understand what happened. Your kids are much younger and I think it is difficult for little ones to understand death, that they will never see the person again...If you believe, I agree with what someone else replied to you..you should tell them the angels are coming to take nonna to a great place to be with all the other people you have lost. If it is the case that she lived a long happy life and is now sick, you should tell them the angels are going to make nonna not be sick anymore or in pain anymore. If you have the chance you should take them to say "goodbye", that's somthing my kids regretted not being able to do. In time your kids will understand the concept of death better and hopefully they will see it's not such a bad thing if it comes at the end of a long happy life.

Suzanne - posted on 11/05/2009

gosh i'm sorry to hear this, i went throught his last year with their great papa, my boys where 3 and 4 at the time and i explained to them that papa wasn't well and had a very sore tummy as he had stomach cancer and was very ill, i told them that soon one day that papa would have to go up to heaven.. i explaine that when someone close you know becomes very very sick and very tired they have to go for a big long sleep and the become magical and when they become magical they turn themselves into the biggest brightest star in the sky at night, they sit in gods house drinkin tea all day and at night they cme out nice and bright to look down on us all, we went to the grave side only 2 weeks ago and said we would leave flowers to send up to gods house for papa when we put the flowers down my wee boy asked why he was in the ground and not up in the sky i explaine that remember we have to put them in a special magical box that takes them up to heaven. I told them he no longer has a sore tummy anymore and he will be looking after more magical people in the sky and thats his job now and thats why he can't come back down. I will be thinking of you at this very sad time, god bless and take care just remeber it iwll be hard but stay strong for your little one hun :)

Kristal - posted on 11/02/2009

The truth seems to be the best answer for kids. You can tell them that Jesus is in heaven waiting for Nonna and she's never has to hurt or get sick again once she goes to heaven to be with Him. They can see her again, when they go to see Jesus too. It may be possible, depending on your situation for the kids to see her now before she goes, and I would encourage this if you're able. They can go tell her they love her and that they will miss her when she's gone. I know that my grandma always adored when her great-grandkids came to visit her. At her death bed, my youngest daughter was 7 and explained Grandma's death to my cousin's son (whose a year younger) when her great-grandma passed away last March. They both attended the funeral and the graveside memorial. They seemed to accept what was happening and while it's sad for us who are still here not to be able to see her anymore, she's in a place where she gets to be happy forever and never hurt again and they can see her when they go to be with Jesus no matter when that might be.

Melissa - posted on 11/01/2009

i am very sorry to hear about your granmother being ill. i think the best way to tell a child is to tell them that angels will be coming to see their nonna very soon, and that they are going to take her back to heaven to live with them so that she wont be sick anymore.(if you are a believer). and assure them that nonna will always be there watching over them and that she loves them and whenever they ask about her and where she is just remind them that she lives with god now. children are tough and they tend to take death wayyyyyyyyyy better then adults do as long as you reassure them that everything is ok. thats what we did when my great grandmother died because my neice was i think 3 at the time and she understood and never got upset about it. and it would be best to tell them now so that they get used to the idea and that way when she does pass on you can just tell them that she has gone to live in heaven and they will already be expecting the change....i hope that helps :)

Kimberly - posted on 11/01/2009

First of all, I am sorry for your upcoming loss. I just went through this with my family. My oldest is 4, but she's pretty advanced for her age. I told her the truth. Her Nonny (great grandma) was very sick, that she had Shingles and complications and that her body was wearing out. I told her as soon as I felt that she may not make it to give her little mind time to process it and ask questions. When Nonny was moved to Hospice I talked to my daughter again about it. I told her that Nonny was dying and that it's ok because Nonny is tired and old, she was sick, and she missed being with her husband. When she dies she is not sick any more and can be with those she loved the most. We took my daughter to Hospice and I explained to her that Nonny is not dead yet, but more like she's asleep. Nonny can hear everything you say and she may even react a little to it and that if there's anything she wanted to say to Nonny, now's the time, it's her last chance. Once Nonny passed I told her that Nonny had died and my daughter was ok with it because she "had already told her goodbye". At the services my daughter was very saddened, but I told her it's ok to be sad and ok to cry even, but that we want to remember Nonny and all the fun we were able to have with her while she was alive and not remember how sick she was at the end. To think that she is up in Heaven with God and her lost loved ones and she's not tired and sick any more. That seems to have done the trick for her, but each child is different and of course religious beliefs vary, but I think that if you can find some form of comfort in your beliefs that is definitely the way to go since that is what will be reiterated to them at the services.