husband golfs all day and I come home to kids, cooking and homework. Would it be different if he was the one working and I was the stay at home parent?

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June - posted on 08/26/2016

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oh yeah, i also agree with Eager Beaver... that's frustrating... when my husband comes home he comes like he's a hero I want him to feel like. Why would a man not do it for his working woman? You either need to talk with him about this and change this or maybe even demanding it!

Jodi - posted on 08/24/2016

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My husband and I both work. My husband, on his days off (he sometimes has days off on days I am working) may play a round of golf, but he STILL manages to get home to pick our daughter up from school and organise dinner and do a bit of housework or laundry. It is perfectly possible to do both. You need to talk to your husband about it so that he understands how this frustrates you. Don't try to talk him out of the golf, but work with him toward finding a balance.

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June - posted on 08/29/2016

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so he's basically not doing anything.... now the question.. why would you need such a man?

Ann - posted on 08/26/2016

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Thanks June. He does not see it that way. I work close to home and sometimes come home for lunch to throw a load of laundry in or what ever else needs to be done. He is usually sitting watching TV while my kids are on video games or playing with friends. The work he does in the house is about the same as what I do and I work full time. He goes to bed and I make sure the kids get ready for bed. I have tried to talk to him and he just tells be I am a slob and do not have the right to ask him to do anything,

Ev - posted on 08/24/2016

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Ann, I agree with the part that dads do not do things the way mothers' do. I take exception to the rest of it though. A lot of dads work and still help care for their kids and a lot of dads stay at home and not only care for the kids but also take care of the house too.

Eager - posted on 08/22/2016

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That’s definitely a frustrating situation that you’re going through, Ann, and I am so sorry to hear that. Communication is very important in a marriage and so I encourage you to talk to your husband about his behavior. May be it can help! Also, try seeking marriage counseling. I really hope and pray that you will quickly find a solution for this. Sending hugs your way!

Ann - posted on 08/22/2016

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Just because one person works and the other stays at home, there should not be a boss. There should be shared decision. I do think it is hard for working women to give up parenting styles and expectation when they dad stays at home. Dad's are not going to do everything the way mom would have done it. They are two different people. The dad's are not usually in the Ped's office reading parenting magazines, the moms are. So when we are tuned into the latest news on child development, the dad is not.

My apologies to those dads who are reading parenting books and magazines.

Ann - posted on 08/22/2016

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No, I am not the boss. My husband stays home with the kids while I am at work (during the Summer) When the kids are at school he does what he wants during the day. If he wants to golf 3-4 times a week he does. That means I come home to a house that is not cleaned, a dinner that is not cooked and caring to the kids. My point is, that if a dad came home from work and had to do what I do, a guy would not be OK with it and society would not be OK with it.

June - posted on 08/22/2016

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oh yeah... the roles surely changes... there's a friend of mine whose mother is working and father is parenting (and this has been like that for their entire life). My friend now is having a hard time because she's trying to do it all like her mother does (to be like the boss) but her boyfriend doesn't accept this.. well, they have a hard time now... What I am trying to say is that most likely... you are going to be the "boss" but in a family where the female is the boss then problems started to arise...

Ann - posted on 08/21/2016

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I am the one that works and he is the stay at home parent; because, he is retired. This was his idea.

June - posted on 08/19/2016

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Can't understand... is he the one who is working and you staying with the kids or vice versa? whatever the case, it surely would be different!

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