I am going through a divorce and would like to know how to explain that to a child of 6 yrs old?

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Stacey - posted on 03/04/2009

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As a child of divorce myself, the worst thing that you can do is argue with your ex infront of a child. I was 13 when my parents divorced and even then I thought it was my fault because I still did not understand why. I heard my name in their arguments etc so I thought that it was because of me. I tried to over compinsate and try to make things perfect so they would stay together.



As an adult I know now it has/had nothing to do with me.



Even a 6 year old knows that there is something wrong even if you do not think that they do. My cousin is in the middle of a divorce and she has a 7 year old and a 4 year old. the older one is starting to act out and play both mom and dad against the middle. they are very intuitive even if they cannot explain to you what they are feeling and thinking. They feel the tension and see the looks.



Kill him with kindness if at all possible even if it is just a front infront of your kids. This should hopefully help the situation. Also, talk to your family members and his if possible and ask them...no matter what your personal feeling are towards me or him, please do not say or watch what you say infront of the kids. we are still their parents and it is not fair to them to have family bash the other one.

[deleted account]

hi i had a 4 yr old and a 6 yr old it was a very messy divorce but i didnt slag him off in frount of the boys and if he start 2 argue with me i would walk away if the boys were there , i told the boys that me and daddy still love u ,we just cant live together anymore and that it was not there fault , i told them that daddy loves them every nite ,be stong and if he wants to talk about daddy just be positive and dont get upset as your child may think that he/she has upset u hope this helps and if u want 2 chat get in touch good luck and stay strong

Janique - posted on 03/04/2009

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Thank you so much for your words, I will try my best to explain the situation as easily as I can to make it easy for my son. You take care and was nice to chat to you.



Regards



Janique

Krystyne - posted on 03/03/2009

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Use simple/easy to understand words and be honest in your explanation.  Reassure the child that they are wonderful and that he/she is very special to both mommy and daddy.  Try to stay calm and non-emotional when bringing up changes in living arrangements.  The child will take there cue from you as to whether they should be upset etc.  Focus on the positive aspects of the changes that are to come.  It would be best for the child if you and your husband can be civil toward eachother in hopes of keeping your childs relationship with both parents intact.

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