I am stressed! I feel like I don't even have any time to clean house anymore, HELP! I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Debbie - posted on 03/01/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

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Work, Work, Work sometimes it's all I feel like I do.

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Hey, Debbie!

The girls are right about taking some time for YOU.

Hope this helps:

Lots of us are overwhelmed, and we often think "why start? I never have time to get to it all, I am SO BEHIND!!!"

You need to check out www.flylady.net for simple ideas to make the most of the little time you do have.

You are NOT behind! Just start where you are!

Try the 1 minute "boogie" You take a trashbag and run around the house tossing everything you know is trash for 1 minute.

Or set a timer for 5 minutes and clean everything you can in the living room in that 5 minutes. It helps to have the radio set to some good music!



The flylady site has lots of good ideas for making the most of little time, as well as for getting your kids and husband to help you out.

Blake - posted on 03/04/2009

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Being overwhelmed is just part of being a mom! I have tried to reprogram my brain to not sweat the small stuff. I can't clean on a daily basis anymore, except for picking up etc..I keep the kitchen and family room tidy, but the cleaning supplies come out on Saturday only. I deep clean the bathrooms and the kitchen and lightly dust and vacuum. the days of having everything in its place and every room clean will be back when they are in school so hang in there. I also have a circle of friends that I hit up for help since having my second kiddo. I just say "can you come over and fold the laundry or run the vac" Don't be afraid to ask for help! you are not super woman! and when those babies are napping take a hot bath and block out all that you think you have to do!! Don't look at your house as if the camera crew is coming over to film every bit of dust.

Liz - posted on 03/02/2009

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Hey Debbie be glad your not me.... I clean for a living and have to come home and clean the house.I have a 15 year old, my boyfriend and 2 dogs. I get sick of cleaning, so I do one job a day. The dirt isn't going anywhere so why burn yourself out everyday. No one has a perfectly clean house and if they do then they can come to my house and help me. Just being funny. Ya the others are right soak in the tub and think of nothing until you have too.Have fun I'm off to work.

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Jaimie - posted on 03/05/2009

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Hi everyone. There is a new community called "Time saving tips for Super Moms with big lists and small time" I posted my most helpful suggestion. It would be a good community to join so we can all enjoy a little sanity.

Tiffany - posted on 03/04/2009

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This is all really good advice. I try to prepare myself for the next day as much as I can the night before. Getting meals ready, packing a lunch, laying out clothes etc. It seems as soon as I walk in the door from work, I am cleaning something. I am slowly relaxing about everything and not trying to do everything myself. I have a husband who is very hands on. When he offers to cook dinner or fold laundry, I say, ok. You can't do everything in 1 day and you have to take care of yourself along with everyone else. It is hard to get your groove, but you will find it.

Tricia - posted on 03/04/2009

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Also, it's ok to relax your standards.  Laundry needs to be washed, but it doesn't NEED to be folded and put in the dresser drawers.  There needs to be dinner, but it doesn't have to be gourmet.  Who honestly cares when you last washed your floors?  As they say in La LecheLeague: people before things, and you're a person too.

Amanda - posted on 03/04/2009

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I know I can't afford it, but if at all possible, hire a housecleaner once a week for deep cleaning..or something. They can do wonders in a four hour span..

Kathryn - posted on 03/03/2009

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Quoting Debbie:

I am stressed! I feel like I don't even have any time to clean house anymore, HELP! I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Work, Work, Work sometimes it's all I feel like I do.



hi Debbie,



i know exactly how you feel. I wish i could say it will get better, until your children leave home you are going to be doing things for them or with them but the good news is that as they get older, they can take more responsibilities, my son vacuums and takes out the trash, my daughter does dishes and cleans appliances, my husband takes care of everythig outside and i cook and shop and keep everyone organized. i shop for groceries during my lunh hour on mondays because i drive to work on mondays and if you already have a list of what you want, you will be amazed how much shopping you can get done in half an hour. shopping on mondays frees up my weekends so that i can make meals for the week which i label and freeze so i don't have to start cooking everyday after work. the children pop the meal for the day into the oven when they get back from school and by the time my husbad and i get back, supper is ready. since i learned these tips from a wise woman i know, life has changed, i am still busy but not stressed anymore. Hang in there and like you have already been told, do not forget you, as mothers and wives we always tend to put ourselves last but you need some me time to relax too. 

Dazelle - posted on 03/03/2009

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This is part of our job as mothers; somehow we have this inner strength that keeps us going and when we do fell like giving up something inside of us gives us that extra nudge. We must always find time for ourselves. I call mine mommy time and my children know not to bother me during this time unless it is and emergency. I might just sit in the room with my ipod and relax or I watch a really good movie. Always find time for yourself.

Janelle - posted on 03/03/2009

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Hi Debbie, oh how I sympathize with you. I work 40hrs a week, attend school part time and take care of three kids (one is a 5 month special needs baby), whilst being a single mom. My husband and I separated over a year ago and live separately but he is there to help on nights when I attend school. However, the other days can be hectic once we get home.

I know cooking my meals on Sundays really help. I thought about things that I could eliminate doing after work and that was one of the things. This helps me to plan healthy meals for my kids and it is ready in minutes. This frees up my time to spend with my 6 year old doing home work, my 2 year old colors and sometimes the baby is asleep or in my arms. Trust me it is not always like this we have the melt downs on occasion which I realise is the things that stresses me out, I hate the crying. My solution is to try to recognise when a melt down is coming and divert her or just holding my 2 year old for a few minutes till she calms down because I know she just missed me from being away all day. I let the kids pick their clothes out for the next day, if not mommy chooses and I pick the worst outfits on purpose and they have to wear it ( this works better on my 6 year old) This I amd trying to work on getting it done on sundays too. I also insist on an 8pm bedtime, to avoid grumpy kids in the morning and to give me time for myself, to do facebook, school work, exercise, tv or reading a magazine (I cannot even commit to reading a book). As for cleaning, I try to pick up after the kids go to bed too, I put everything in a basket and then put it in it's place...it's not perfect but things are not too messy, I guess as long as my kitchen is clean and there are no dishes in the sink (I HATE IT), I am ok. I don't have much dishes either except for baby bottles and little cups the kids and my lunch bowls for work. I try to rinse everything right away and place it in the dishwasher, I have finally gotten my 6 year old in this routine too. I hope my ideas help, like I said previously there are days when things are crazy, this most of the times when we get out of routine or I am tired and don't do something, then it just gives me more inspiration to keep it up. I have not conquered the laundry part yet, I would do a load after the kids are in bed but I do not like leaving my kids in the apartment alone while I run upstairs, especially my baby (I live in an apartment). This is where my husband comes in to stay with the kids so I can concentrate on that alone. Hope this helps!

User - posted on 03/03/2009

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I completely understand. I work a full time job and am in school and come home to take care of my son, husband, dog and cat. My husband works a lot of hours and helps out when he is home, however I still am the one that has to remind him of what needs to be done. I find that opperating on a schedule is the best and easiest way to get me through the day and although messes have always been a problem for me and stress me out really bad, I've learned that some times you have to look past things. I attempt to get in a good cleaning once a week when my son is napping or watching one of his favorite shows. I make sure the dishes get done every night and if i am tired, then I relax because I need that.



I have come to accept that sometimes my house is just going to be messy. And that's ok. Because so isn't every one else's where everyone is working full time and taking care of a family. Life is demanding. I try not to let the little stuff knock me down. I am happy, my son is happy, my husband is happy (I think the animals are happy) and that's what matters. When we all work together it makes it that much easier. And again that schedule really helps. I don't think i would survive with out it.

Kim - posted on 03/03/2009

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Hi Debbie.  I work 40 hours, have a 17 year old and an 18 month old and am starting online classes for my MBA in the fall.  Housework?  Not quite on the radar:)  My secret has been lowering the standards and expecting my husband to pick up more than his share.  I am primarily responsible for my toddler, so he gets a lot of the housework.  I no longer care if it's perfect at this point...I'm just going for livable.  I know that when  my little one is a little older, she'll not only be able to help, but she'll also be able to stay out of my way when I get things done!  Right now, I do the minimum, keep lists, use all lunch times for errands and shopping if possible, get the kid and husband to help, cook extremely simple meals, and don't sweat the small stuff.  I got some really good advice years ago when I was waitressing...whenever I get up or move from room to room, don't leave empty handed...always pick something up or bring something back to where it belongs.  You don't realize how that small task makes a difference.  My 17 year old's room...I am in denial that it even exists!!!

Liz - posted on 03/03/2009

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Hi Debbie, looks like your getting some great advice. I only do housework if my daughter is busy at basketball or homework or whatever. I've been cleaning for years [ job ] and I find that as long as your house is free of some germs than your doing okay. My friends think I clean everyday and that makes me laugh cause I probably do the least cleaning of all but I am organized so that must make my house look clean. I only sweep and mop my floors once a week, I clean the 2 bathrooms more. [ my daughter cleans her own bathroom then I go in and disinfect it. My 15 yr. old daughter is like most girls her age ,she hates cleaning her room. She does it though. Once every two weeks I go in and we both clean it from top to bottom.She told me that its more fun when I'm there too. But honestly I have a wonderful man in my life that likes housework... he never complains. If I'm sick he does it all.Anyways have a great day.

Anna - posted on 03/03/2009

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Have you tried to clean with the children, to make a game of it. My son (3 years and 7 months) love to play the hoover game. He cleans up the toys after him and his sister (she´s 1 years old) so that I can hoover. After we have clean I play with the children for a bite and the are happy.

Vedrana - posted on 03/03/2009

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Hey Debbie,don`t let the work to take you away from your kids. There is always something to do in house,but since you are cleaning so much I think that it is very clean in yours! I`m working also 40 hours a week but cleaning is for Saturdays! Over the week I clean floors in house about three times! And toys...they are every were! But it is something that I called creative disorder! It is something that is in everybody`s house who has children! And one more thing! Don`t let that they`s youth and childhood pass over you for keeping house perfectly clean!

Dawn - posted on 03/03/2009

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I totally understand what you mean.  I feel like there is always something that I should be doing and often things I'm forgetting. 

Nicole - posted on 03/01/2009

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Welcome to being a working mother. When the kids get older you will feel some relief as they can help out somewhat. I schedule a spa time about every 6 months, coffee with a girlfriend once a week and go hard on Saturdays or even Friday night. Sunday is laundry day--still finishing mine up at 10:30 this evening. I always get everything ready the night before. It saves me time, sleep and stress in the morning. I get the kids clothes picked out, my clothes picked out, lunches ready, outdoor clothing ready, bookbags and anything else that needs to go with us in the morning. Don't worry it will get easier especially when the sleep comes back. I cosleep with my 5 year old if she is sick etc. I have done that since she was little, teething etc. It helped me to get the zzz's I needed to function.

Rachel - posted on 03/01/2009

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Is the time pressure coming from your paid work or the second shift, i.e. the amount of work you're doing with the kids and for the kids when you get home from work?



I am trying to find a housecleaner to work for us maybe a couple of hours a week or even a fortnight.  Honestly the second shift sucks.



I have also prioritised the chores. Some things just aren't going to get done. OTOH, the dishwasher will be emptied each time, the dishes washed once a day, and all the kitchen counter tops cleaned at the end of the day. Ironing isn't a priority. :-)

Brydget - posted on 03/01/2009

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I have to agree with Keli, take some time for you and don't feel guilty. Is there any house work that really is that important that it must get done? If you can't let it slide maybe choose one chore to do, once it is done feel happy that you have accomplished it.

How many hours do you work?

Keli - posted on 03/01/2009

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Ha ha! I feel your pain! Before you even start to tackle this issue - go have a hot bubble bath and close the door to the rest of the family. Sod the housework for a day or two!!

Becky - posted on 03/01/2009

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However, meant to say 98% time i wouldn't change a thing i love being a mum and my kids are pretty good.

Becky - posted on 03/01/2009

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I know how you feel, i am up at 5 every day (after a few breaks in sleep to sort out my two - Jessica is 3 but is having nightmares and also now in a big girls bed keeps falling out despite a bar! Oliver just turned one and is teething which is waking him). I get ready, drop the kids off at the childminders, work until 16:30 pick the kids up, cook dinner, take washing out of machine put second load in! Wash up, hoover, bath kids put them to bed. Cook for me and hubby if he is in later than the first round of cooking! Wash up again. Oh look its 9:30 pm! Sit down for a bit go to bed. And thats without fitting in all the other things like ironing and other general cleaning!



I am lucky my husband is hands on but sometimes (like right now) i just want to run away for a day or two and do nothing or something that is just for me! Can't remember the last time i had my hair done or just had a little pamper! I get lovely treats from my husband but none of them (apart from teh earings i got for valentines day) help my waste line!



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