I have a supervisor who is way older than me and has no kids...Is driving me crazy!!

Brenda - posted on 12/16/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I dont know what is the deal with her but see just seems to doesnt like me at all, since I started working there, I just have been feeling like I am been pick on, for some people is good to be pick on cause it helps them to grow themseves, to me it just makes me feel dumb and doubt myself.. To add, this lady has no kids, I dont like to bring daughter issues to work (cause it supposed to have nothing to do with my professional life) but she always does, everytime she makes comments about me been a mom, that to me are disrespectful, I know I am a young mother, but I am proud of it. She always having negative feed back about my work, there was couple of staff meetings I had to miss because of daughter and couple of times I had to be late or leave early because of daycare, I understand that its better to dont have to do this things but hey is life, I just wish she could understand instead of making it a problem, at the end my dutties and task for the day always get done at work. Any ideas to solve this..Should I stand up to her? or Talk to the bussines owner?

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Kathy - posted on 12/21/2010

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I'd talk to her first, explain to her that you have no choice if your daughters sick that she needs you. My boss understands cause he has kids, but he doesn't seem to fully understand that daycare won't take them when they are sick, probably because his wife stayed home with their kids (lucky her huh!!). Maybe ask her to ease up, don't look at what you miss because of your kids but look at how you do when you are there. Jobs, no matter how much you love them come and go, your daughter is for the rest of your life and is far more important. If that doesn't work then I would talk to the owner. I've always believed its better to follow the chain of command up the ladder to get results than just start at the top and possibly deal with negative repercussions from your direct supervisor.

Brenda - posted on 12/19/2010

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Well I do take feedback well all the time, as matter of fact I am a very patient person, and I had deal with difficult people before, My job is always done, I have a list I print out every day and do it all, we had a little conversation with the boss (who is a lovely mother! lol who understands) and she started to say her job is not been done, when I asked her, "tell me exactly what is not been done, cause maybe I am really missing something on my list" she answer: THE TRASH IS NOT BEEN TAKE OUT, AND THE SHREDDED IS NOT BEEN EMPTY!!! my oss and I looked at each other and I dont know if we were thinking the same thing, but I said it, it is riddiculous, I have forgotten to take the trash out once and I left it an hurry because of the Snow Storm I had to get home... She said: You see she always justifying! LMAO, this lady has problems, I dont think is me, I honestly dont. And daycare and kids, IT IS LIFE! by the way if I were to own my own Bussines, I would have enough money to pay someone to either pick up daughter or watch after her fro couple of hours while I fix whatever i need to, but I dont, I only work 3 days at this place, the other 2 another girl works there, sometimes I feel she confuses the mistakes and is just easier to blame whoever is infront of her..but at the end, Her comments and approachments are disrispectful, Some people are great at supervising others are just not..

Amy - posted on 12/18/2010

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I didn't see anything about snide remarks all I saw was that she has made a comment about her being a mom, I don't know what was exactly said but it wouldn't be classified as harassment based on what she's said. I doubt she's the only parent that works for the company but based on what I read it's having a negative impact on her job performance she's missing work, coming in late, and she has been given feedback about her work. We don't always hear what we want when it comes to our job performance she needs to use the feedback to perform better in her job.

Tah - posted on 12/18/2010

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@amy, i get what you are saying..i also don't think it's right for her to make snide remarks etc, to her. what do you suggest she do about the harrassment?

Amy - posted on 12/18/2010

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You should use the negative feedback about your work to your advantage and make whatever changes she is suggesting. Every boss/employer is going to give feedback and it's not always positive what you do with that feedback is important! Take what she is saying and change what she wants changed, if you are unsure of her expectations ask for a meeting where you can get clarification about what she's looking for. She has a job to do and as a manager myself it's not always easy but when you have a business to run and if you want to keep people employed there are times when you have to give feedback that people don't agree with.
As a mom I know how difficult daycare can be but I can also tell you that when you run a business or a department customers and other employees expect you to be there for your job. I have kids but I expect other employees to have their daycare issues worked out and show up for work when they are scheduled to be there. Is it always possible no, but there are still consequences when you can't get to work on time because your babysitter was late and when it happens frequently that is a problem when you have customers. Look at it from her perspective she has deadlines to meet and she's relying on you to pull your weight and if you're the only one on the team who is struggling other team members may be going to her and asking her to address these problems (it's possible). Her having kids or not having kids has nothing to do with it, because like I said I have kids and unless there is an extreme situation I have a plan and a back-up plan. If daycare continues to be a problem maybe see if you can get a flex schedule where you have an hour time frame to get to work in the morning and you stay till your work is done. Otherwise my only other suggestion is find a job that doesn't depend on you being there or is more flexible with your needs.

Brenda - posted on 12/17/2010

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I am thinkin even writign down what I am gonna tell her, cause I dont want to offend her, I mean I dont know the truth behine why she doenst have children you know, but I do need to stop this..stress is not something I handle well.

Tah - posted on 12/17/2010

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you can have a talk with her in private and just explain that you love your job, and you know that she doesn't have any children and can't really understand what it's like to have some things that are out of your control like sick children, but you appreciate her being understanding and not making you feel any worse about missing staff meeting then you already do...Reverse it on her, she knows what she is doing and maybe this will let her know that you know also and she needs to be more professional. Maybe she wanted children and was unable and is upset, maybe she has pre-conceived notions about young mothers, but if it continues, go to the business owner.

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