I have to go back to work on Friday for financial and insurance reasons.......

Shauna - posted on 09/30/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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So I'm wondering-how did you other moms deal with this transition? How did the baby deal with it?

How did it change your relationship with your kids?

Did they suffer at all from not having you around all day?

My husband will be at home with her during the day, but I still feel sad inside that I can't be there (also there's that feeling that my husband kind of resents me for having to stay home with her, even though it's really our only option).

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Christina - posted on 10/03/2009

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My son is 21/2 months I went back to work 3 weeks ago and YES this was extremely hard. I also had to go back for financial reasons. Its very tough for women these days. For the two months I was home with him he was a very content baby but I noticed all last week he was very colicky and needed constant attention. I asked my pediatrician and he said he probably misses me. That broke my heart. But I guess we have to deal with it. He is with my sister all day and she has a 3 month old girl so I know he is being loved and cared for. I hope this was helful.

Melanie - posted on 10/03/2009

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Hi Shauna,



Where we live (Dubai), like lots of British teachers here, I get an apartment as part of my package, so although I've been lucky enough to have had 6 months off with my LO, I had to go back to work at the start of term in September. My husband and I agreed for various reasons not to hire a nanny (it can get complicated here if you do), found a nursery that had an excellent reputation, and, I'm really happy to say that we haven't looked back since. At first, it was a bit strange, and I'm the only person who's using this option at the moment, out of about a dozen friends from work who suddenly all had babies at the same time, but now we're all into a routine, and it seems to be working really well. I had a few wobbly moments in the weeks before we started, and cried about it quite a lot when I was pregnant (!) though, so you're not alone.



Although I know nursery isn't an option for everyone, I think the point here is that if your child is happy, loved and well cared-for - and when I pick her up, I can see that she's very well looked-after, as she's so smiley, and the nannies and teachers at the nursery comment on how happy she is all day - then there's nothing to suggest that you're doing the wrong thing. Babies adapt really fast, and they'll let you know if they're not happy. As far as we're concerned, my baby girl gets much more quality time from me, as I'm so pleased to spend the afternoon and evening with her after not seeing her all day, and just about all else goes on the back burner! As for her development, she gets so much positive stimulation with her nursery time (including lots of structured play, music, swimming and painting) that she's becoming a very exciting little girl.



Don't know if this is helpful, as I realise the situation is different; my husband takes her to nursery in the morning, which made it easier in my head at the beginning, as I never experienced leaving her with strangers (who, after a month, certainly aren't strangers anymore, for any of us), so leaving her with her dad SHOULD make it easier for you, I suppose.



Best of luck, hope it goes well.

Joy - posted on 10/03/2009

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Well i went back to work on Thur, 01 Oct and my baby is only 2 months old....i also went back for the same reason as yours, but Im went back one month earlier though.

I sent my baby to the daymother one week prior to my return to work so the 2 could get acquainted with one another....

well I missed her like crazy during the day and can't wait 2 see her....Kids adapt quickly, so don't beat yourself up for having to be a working mom....

Jen - posted on 10/03/2009

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Knowing that your husband is home with the kids, he will take care of them. So less worry of them not getting take care of. Nice feeling is when you come home and seeing the kids. Giving you hugs and kisses. For the first few weeks, the kids will ask of you. But they will get use to that and as they grow older, they will understand that moms need to go to work just like dads to make ends meet.

Kate - posted on 10/01/2009

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I am in the same boat as you Shauna. I work and my husband is home with our 2 year old now. Our 5 year old just started Kindergarten. I stayed home for about 3 years, then we both worked for about a year and now my husband is home with the girls. It works out very good for us. I don't think that the amount of time you spend with your children is as important as the quality of time you spend with them.

Nolwazi - posted on 10/01/2009

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that is the most hardest thing any mom has to go through. Tenda was 3months old when i had to go back to work. i was a single parent at the time so i had to leave him with my folks. i got to see him month ends and weekends off. Parting was always a tearful affair for both of us and worse still when he got older as he began understanding that mommy is leaving now.

dont beat yourself up about it. they are stronger than what we think so long as we help them understand the transition. the feelings are normal - the guilt, the anguish, the anxiety of having to leave your precious bundle in the care of someone else. in time it gets easier, just mind that you do not over compensate absences with gifts and leniency - if that makes sense.

i must admint - Tenda was really spoilt. when i came home i always had something in tow. it made me feel good. Love your bambino but dont spoil them.

In essence - it gets better with time :-). providing for your family is as an important act of love as your time spent with them

Gail - posted on 09/30/2009

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It wis extremly hard but i had to go back early for financial reasons aswell, Brandon was only 3mths old when i went back to work - argh!!!!

It was emotionally hard i was happy at work but sad at missing him. I've been working 7wks now and i also love the smiles and excitment i see in his face.



It is hard but i do beleive it does get easier (sometimes tho i can just have a "I miss him day")

Sharon - posted on 09/30/2009

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It was the hardest thing I ever di , Ollie was 6 months old and i vried for days. Ollie was a little unsettled for about 5 seconds . We did toy with my other half staying at home but instead the nannies have him. 18 months down the line he loves seeing them and i get hugs and kisses as soon as he sees me. Still don't like it but it's best for him and me.

Sharon - posted on 09/30/2009

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It was the hardest thing I ever di , Ollie was 6 months old and i vried for days. Ollie was a little unsettled for about 5 seconds . We did toy with my other half staying at home but instead the nannies have him. 18 months down the line he loves seeing them and i get hugs and kisses as soon as he sees me. Still don't like it but it's best for him and me.

Sharon - posted on 09/30/2009

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It was the hardest thing I ever di , Ollie was 6 months old and i vried for days. Ollie was a little unsettled for about 5 seconds . We did toy with my other half staying at home but instead the nannies have him. 18 months down the line he loves seeing them and i get hugs and kisses as soon as he sees me. Still don't like it but it's best for him and me.

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