I just had triplets and really don't wanna go back to work

Sahara - posted on 12/07/2012

I know this is unrealistic for me to say but I say don't go! No one

Can't do a better job than you I wouldn't go back until when YOU'RE ready!!!... Now the problem is how is you're husband gonna take the idea? And can your family manage a 1 paycheck?

Angie - posted on 12/03/2012

You're not being unreasonable at all. As a mother of a 2 yr old and twins on the way, I work part-time and love that I have been able to be home with her watching her grow. We were able to swing me working only part-time. As a mom who was able to be home (if only part-time), I hope you come to an answer you can be happy with. Congratulations on your babies and I will pray for their quick and safe welcome home soon!

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Tash - posted on 12/20/2010

Kristi - CONGRATS to u!! I too agree with most of the ladies here.....I say don't go back! You'll miss lots by not being home. Find something you can do from home to bring in some income. I am soon gonna leave work, as I've started my home-based business.



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Nikki - posted on 12/14/2010

it sounds like you have your hands full congrats on the triplets http://www.risingchild.com/group/viewdis... is a discussion about parents going back to work after maternity leave. Their fears and concerns about it and what they do about it.

Deborah - posted on 12/13/2010

That's a hard one honey, anyway you slice the cake... I wanna say be strong and think positive, but I know that's too ahrd to do right now... so I'll just say this... other people have done it before you... don't think about it at all, just live in the moment, and don't think about it, just do what you know you HAVE to do as a responsible parent and be happy they are at home and not at daycare trus tme.

Hailey - posted on 12/13/2010

Follow your heart, you cant regret your choise if you follow your heart :) and it normally always knows best

Cherie - posted on 12/13/2010

I understand what you are going through and I feel the same way at times. However, your situation is definitely special. I only have 1 child, but what I have found that has been amazing for our family is a home based business. I work out at the gym in the mornings while she is at the gym childcare. Home for nap & lunch. The rest of the day I can meet friends/business partners for coffee appointments, errands, & play dates. I can e-mail, make calls, & do webinars during her naps (twice a day). You make your own hours, when & how long to work.You can really make a full time income working 5-10 hours a week & spend so much time with your child, while socializing at a childcare & with other moms with children. I love my life & wouldn't change a thing. Although, this is what works for me. You may have to try a few things to see what works for you & your family. I hope you find this helpful & that you find the balance you are looking for! : )

Carly - posted on 11/25/2010

I think you are being totally reasonable because you're following your heart. If you can afford to be home with your kids and decide that's what you want to do, be true to that. How productive do you think you're going to be at work thinking about being home with your kids.
Good luck with your decision.

Carly
www.balance-the-mother-load.com

Philippa - posted on 11/25/2010

First of all congratulations! I had a premmie baby at 28 weeks 2 years ago and she spent 17 weeks in NICU due to complications and had two operations. I decided to take the maximum maternity leave and because of my early departuture of work this was extended by seven weeks. This meant that I was paid up until three weeks before my return (which was over the Christmas period and my work was not open then anyway) . I felt guilty to begin with because I wanted to go back to work straight away as I felt useless and was unable to take care of my baby. I completely understand your feelings as I wanted to stay at home but due to financial constraints I was unabel to. She was allowed home when she was four months old and I stayed at home until she was eleven months when I went back to work three days a week. I think you should think about possibly extending your maternity leave if that is possible and maybe going back part time if you want to. I am now in full time work and believe that my daughter benefits from spending time at nursery for three days and my parents have her for two days. Her dad and I can then spend two days with her which I think works for us. You have many options - personally I would prefer to be part time as I feel I benefit from it as well due to the fact that I do not have friends with young children and mothers of full term babies will never fully understand your strugggles and need to be with them.

Teresa-Ann - posted on 11/03/2010

I had triplets too in March 2003. Do you not get a maternity leave? I would quit your job if you can afford to be home with the girls then I definately would. You are unreasonable at all. You will just go to work each day with regrets and wondering how they are and probably not be focused on your work. Sit down talk to your husband and see if you can finacially stay home. Maybe see if you can go to part time or work the opposite shift then your husband so one of you are always with the babies. They grow up way to fast to and before you know it they will be walking. Just my thoughts, Teresa. threelittlegirlz@hotmail.com

Deborah - posted on 11/01/2010

Dear Kristi, children are a blessing from God and can not be exchanged for anything. In this situation i will advise you to follow your heart and stay at home for your babies. By you sacrificing your job to sit at home and look after your babies, God will make provision for you and the entire family. Even new opportunities will come to you. It may not be easy but that's why you are a mother. Mothers always go an extra mile. I wish you well.

Lyndsay - posted on 11/01/2010

I think you are absolutely right in feeling this way, especially since you haven't had the opportunity to really bond with your triplets. I don't blame you at all and I think you should stay home if you can.

Alison - posted on 11/01/2010

If you truly can afford it...stay home..it breaks my heart to leave my little one every morning...

Abo - posted on 11/01/2010

Congrats and speedy recovery 4 your gals - praying for them. I agree, staying at home is the best decision - but you need to plan ahead:)

Adrian - posted on 10/31/2010

i went back to work after i had my daughter, after two months, i quit. it is hard, but i think in the long run, it will be all worth it. but your situation is a whole lot different. if i was you, i would not work until at least 2 months after they got out of the NCIU. i would not be able to bear being apart from them.
ultimately, it's a decision you need to make with your mother, and husband. and it's not unreasonable, it's a mothers instinct.

Lindsay - posted on 10/31/2010

Its not unreasonable, the question is can you afford to? If it puts alot of stress on your household financially then its best to put then into someone elses care. You should also think how wonderful of an experience it is for the grandparents to have the opportunity to develop that bond. My mom has been helping us out with babysitting my son since he was a tiny infant. They are so close and it makes me so happy, because my mom does not have that with my brothers children. You will not have less of a bond with your children if you go back to work. My son and I are extremly close and I am a full time student and work.

Noemi - posted on 10/30/2010

I think it is completely unreasonable to go back to work with three little Bubs either still at hospital or just come home. They need Mom. Don't be fooled by economic rhetoric; it serves the interest of the money machines, not the truth. Follow your heart - therein lies your truth. x

Bobbi - posted on 10/30/2010

Of course you wan tot stay and raise your precious babies! That's why you had them! Send your mom home and tell your boss adios! They're only little for a little while and your whole paycheck will be gone on dressy clothes, commuting, fancy lunches out and no-doz......and kleenex!

Lisa - posted on 10/29/2010

Yes. If you can handle it financially STAY AT HOME! It was the best decision we made. It was hard. I sold my car. We take my husband to work(2 hrs away) and go shopping or run errands several times a week. You can do it, but it takes planning, communication and patience. The things I thought I could never live with out are off my radar. I would much rather have my three little ones all day long than a paycheck or a promotion and job satisfaction. You can never ever get those moments back. If you find that you must work it is not your fault. Don't let guilt enter your mind because in the end you are doing the very best for your children. We had to make that decision last year and I went through a bit of depression not working. I felt like I lost my identity and my voice. This passed. If you like working take on a 2-3 day/wk part-time job. Or if your mom is living with you a night- time job. There are many out there. They may not be cream of the crop positions, but you will figure it out. I went from marketing manager to 3am Bakery employee. Home by 9am. Do some soul searching, but don't panick. You have time and they are not going to grow up overnight. Hope this helps. Good luck!

LaNetta - posted on 10/29/2010

No, you are not being unreasonable. In all sense of the word you are a mommy. You really have not had the time to bond with your babies especially since they are still in the hospital. If finances are a concern, you might be able to look into some of the work-at-home opportunities that are available so that you can stay home with your babies and still be able to make ends meet. You might even want to check with your current employer because a lot of employers now are letting their employees telecommunicate to get work done in order to cut back on expenses with overhead cost of operating a large building. Or check with a local medical facility that might be outsourcing transcription work, billing, or appointment scheduling, just to name a few. Talk with your spouse about how this would impact the family/household without income from you. Talk about budgets, clipping coupons, money saving techniques that you probably have already done since there are three more additions to the family rather than one. God bless you on your decisions. Have fun with those babies.

Angie - posted on 10/28/2010

You're not being unreasonable. It's great that your Mom is moving in because with 3 newborns, you'll need the extra help! Discuss your financial situation w/husband and if you can stop working (even for a few years), it would be great. Working PT @ home or outside of the home might be financially beneficial. It would also offer you a chance to be in the "adult world" for several hours a week. Check w/your current employer, maybe they can offer you something PT at home. Do they offer long term family medical leave (12 mo). Some larger companies offer that. There are several options, so checking into those asap would be beneficial to you in your decision making. I totally understand you wanting to be home to raise your sweet babies. Good luck to you & God Bless your family. Angie

Nisreen - posted on 10/28/2010

hi kristy
i have 6 months triplits , i went back to work 70 days after birth, i have baby sitter + house keeper to help, but don't forgot that 4 babies needs more than mom at home??/

Renee - posted on 10/27/2010

I feel for you! When my oldest sone was born, I had to go back to work full time in order to pay the bills. When he was a year old I started a home based business to make some extra money. When his sister was born a year later, she had a severe heart defect and passed away at 4 days old. After that, I knew in my heart that life is too short to miss a moment...I went full force with my Mary Kay career and by the time my third child was born a year later, was able to stay home and replace my master degree level career with one in Mary Kay, making my own schedule and LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!! I now have 3 boys and being home with them is the greatest blessing in the world, but the girl time I get in my business keeps me sane! Anyway, you SHOULD stay home with those precious babies....if you would like to hear any more or take a look at my website, feel ree to contact me! My website is www.marykay.com/rburdette. Good luck with your decision! FOLLOW YOUR HEART!

Mallory - posted on 10/27/2010

I think that if you can afford it and you talk to your husband about it then go for it! I only have one child and am in school (college) and I would LOVE to be able to be a stay at home mom. I think it would be great! But unfortunately we are unable to afford it so I still work full-time and go to school part-time. Good luck!!

Emilia - posted on 10/27/2010

You are not being unreasonable my dear, If ur hubby's job is good enuf to sustain the family, stay home with ur triplets and take care of them, nobody can do it better than a mum does. You are not talkin about just 1, its 3 we have here....

Renee - posted on 10/26/2010

I too agree that you should stay home, Your mind will always be thinking of home and what you are missing and your job will suffer. Find a way to make it work. I am working from home and really don't want to go back to working outside the home. I have more time to do the things I want to do. My youngest is now 16 but she has and still does love having her mom waiting for her to get home from school. I work for a very reputable health & wellness company that has been around for 25 yrs, no selling, no inventory, no catalogs or home parties. No pressure to join me, just an option if you are interested. You will see every smile, laugh, new step and not have to miss out on anything. All the best to you and your family. You know what is in your heart and what is best for your family. Hugs, Renee

Sandra - posted on 10/25/2010

Every mother should have the right to stay home with her new baby or babies I should say. Every child should have the right to have mom there when they say there first word and take their first step. If you would like to stay home with your babies I have the perfect home business for you. It's all about "girl time and making new friends" Drop me a line if you are interested and I'll show you how you can make a lot of money on your own time. 2sistazz@gmail.com. Good luck with you brand new baby girls and their big sister. You are blessed. Not to mention a house full of "PMS" Your husband is in for a ride. LOL
Sandra Silvestri

Andrea - posted on 10/23/2010

Why not work from home? I work with AmeriPlan, a home-based company out of Plano TX. Check into it, what do you have to loose?

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I am one of the many work at home Moms in this company and if we can do it, honey you can too.

Jennifer - posted on 10/23/2010

I completely understand - expecting in Jan. and already I am dreading going back to work and I can get up to 12 months off.

You gotta do what you feel is right for you babies. Hopefully DH is understanding and supportive.

Best of luck! Wishing you many days at home with your precious little ones.

VALERIE - posted on 10/22/2010

You are not being unreasonable. If you can afford to stay home and you have the extra help then GO FOR IT! I always wonder if in the long run I will regret working and I'm so afraid of missing any of those special first moments. You have to weigh out your options to see if the positives will out weigh the negatives and already they do. First of all, not everyone has the opportunity to have twins, let alone triplets. That is very special in itself. I think the facts stand alone that those babies need you just as much if not more than you need them. They were born early, So, you need to monitor their development. This is a window of opportunity to raise your babies, bond with them and create those special memories that can only happen now before they grow up. In a few years when they aren't so delicate and they are more stable then sure go to work if you desire. Another factor to consider is that if you cannot financially afford to be a stay-at-home mom, can you afford the price tag for childcare multiplied by 3? Sometimes with just childcare alone, you can find yourself working to pay for childcare or another way to put it is you're paying to have the ability to stay away. I hope you establish that bond and you feel comfortable with your decision. You have my support!

Ruth - posted on 10/22/2010

al children need treit mum & I think with 3 babies you will have a full 24 hr job at home & if you count the cost of child care you may be better of staying at home the first five years of a childs life is soooo important & to miss the first smile first word OR first anything is heart breaking IF you can cut back think hard & long you need your babies as much as they need you & in the end it will be worth the scrimping & doing without fancies & holidayr ect for 5 short years

Denise - posted on 10/22/2010

My personal opinion is stay home with your babies if there is any way possible. That is what I did and it has been the best decision. I tried for one year to go back to work with my second boy between the age of 1 and 2 and I couldn't stand it. Especially when he called the day care provider Mommy one time. YOu miss out on so much. You are definitley not being unreasonable. Best wishes on your decision.

Cynthia - posted on 10/22/2010

I also had triplets that spent 4 weeks in the NICU. I also did not want to go back to work and worried and stressed over it. Staying home financially wasn't an option so we compromised and I went back to work 2 days a week. This was the best decision we made. Raising 3 babies is very stressful and hard on you (lack of sleep, lack of alone time). I ended up looking forward to going to work those two days. Even though I LOVED being home with my babies these two days was a chance for me to rejuvinate myself mentally and have adult social interaction. This left me in a better mood for the family because I felt fulfilled in keeping up with my career while I never felt left out of my childrens lives. Plus the extra money came in handy for the 2-3 superpacks of diapers a week and the 53 jars of baby food a week. So I say cut your time back to 1-2 days a week if you can-you will need that time for you.

Trisha - posted on 10/21/2010

Congrats on the babies. I am sure it is very hard to have them in the NICU and not at home. I feel for you. I went through the same thing when it was time to go back to work. It wasnt that I did not want to work it was the leaving the baby part. I dont think you are whiny. It is normal to feel that way. I think that you should just talk with your husband and do what is best for your family. If you can make the finances work then you should stay home with the babies if that what you want to do. Or even see if you can look into getting a job that will allow you to work from home. I ended staying home and then tried to go back when the kids were a little bit older but we had some bad experiances with daycare and I ended up just being a full time at home mommy. I did open a home daycare for a few years to help bring in a little extra money and now my kids are teens and my husband opened his own business so I run his office from home. It is the best of both worlds. I can be here for the kids and still work. Just go with your gut feeling and you will make the right choice that works for your family. Good Luck and I hope you get your babies home soon.

Michelle - posted on 10/21/2010

I agree with what others have said about trying to stay home. Talk it out with your husband and see if there is a way to do it. Especially with three preemies. Good luck with whatever you do!

Annette - posted on 10/21/2010

I totally agree with Francesca and Kirsti: if it's possible from a financial point of view, then stay at home. Do the maths with your partner, if things get tight, decide what you can spare and just stay at home. It will be best for you and the kids. I had twins when my firstborn was close to 2 years old, and it was hard enough. I cannot imagine having triplets and going back to work so soon. I stayed at home after both births, but I worked a little bit for my employer, on a kind of 10 hrs a week background support model. When they were 6 months old, I returned to 40 or 50% with a few mornings in the office. Everybody finds their own way. If your brain says the money is sufficient, do, what your heart tells you to do!!!

Alice - posted on 10/21/2010

Kristi,
No, it is not unresonable! I think you should look at your finances closely and see just how much would be saved if you stayed home. Some lifestyle adjustments may have to be made (less eating out, less "want" purchases, etc) or you may find a work-at-home job to transition to as some of those are pt and some ft (basically, you get what you put into it) but even a little will help if you can find something you like. I stay at home and love it! It wars really tight when only my husband was working... we had a family of 4 & lived on less than 33K a year (no govt assistance, either :) Now that I have a FT home job, money is less tight, but I still stay frugal. We also did the whole switch-shift both working thing for a little over 17 months... but we were just as strapped for cash that way as with me home (working brings in expenses besides just daycare), so when I found the home job I returned home.
If you don't want to leave your babies (what mom really does?) then you can find a way! :) Talk with your husband and tell him how you really feel; hopefully he will be supportive of you wanting to stay home. Maybe you can agree to at least stay home for the first year. Sometimes that's a starting point :)
I hope you get to work something out and stay home... it sounds like that's really what you want to do. Good luck!
~Hope this helps

Jennifer - posted on 10/21/2010

I say don't go back. You will miss so much by not being home. Find something you can do from home to bring in income. You will be a lot happier staying home!!!

Kelly - posted on 10/21/2010

Being home with babies is a once and a lifetime investment. If it is at all possible for you to be home, this is the time to make that happen! It is very difficult to make the financial change, but if you are investing in the lives of your children (just like any other investment) it takes time and care to see the payoff in the end. Sometimes we have to give up a lot (even money) to turn a long term investment into something for us down the road. I hate to compare investing money to investing in the raising of our children, but the bottom line is money and career. Your career can be picked up later (possibly school age), but you will not be able to recapture those years. You already know this that is why you are feeling the way you are. We went through the same dilemma many years ago, and honestly I did not think we could make it without my paycheck, but we actually had more money to play with when I stopped working. We moved into a better neighborhood and paid 500.00 more for rent each month, but we never had a financial set back. However, both of us were on the same track, so there was no guilt or pressure for one of us to try to help the other to adjust to the change once I came home.

Alison - posted on 10/20/2010

If you are asking the question, I assume that means it is a viable option in which case: YES! YES! YES! Quit your job! You will surely not regret it. I think it is next to ridiculous to try to work a full-time job with preemie triplets at home. Take 1-5 years, depending on what is doable for your family.

Kristi - posted on 10/20/2010

My husband is all for me staying home, but with the way the economy is right now, we are not sure we can afford it. I have been off since April and things have been waaayyyyy tight. I get STD (short term disability) but that is up in a few weeks and I'm not sure we can do it. I looked at some work at home stuff, but you never know what is a scam and what isn't. I just never have been without a job since I was 16 and maybe I'm just afraid of that.

Kara - posted on 10/20/2010

You are NOT being unreasonable, irrational...etc. You will need to sit down with your husband and family to discuss how you can stay at home. It is possible, but adjustments have been made. I'm going to "assume" you live in the United States; I'm from Canada and am fortunate to have the luxury of taking up a year off from work. First, 17 weeks (maternity leave) were paid by my employer (up to 95% of my salary) and then my parental leave (35 weeks) were paid by EI (employment insurance). I was paid 55% of my salary ~ it was tight, but we made it work. I wish you all the best!

Ashley - posted on 10/19/2010

I think i would want to stay home especially with three babys. Could u find a way to make some money at home so u could stay home if u cant afford not to work or if your husband makes anough though with three new babies u guys can probably use the extra income. In Canada we get a year at home i cant Imagen not having that year, depending on your job is there any way u could do some of it at home. But i would talk to your man and really explain that u want to stay home they need u. I hope u get to i no after the year of maternity was up i really feel i have missed so much like u im regretting it but i simply have no choice as of yet. Best wishes

Francesca - posted on 10/19/2010

I think it's perfectly reasonable to sit down with your husband and think through the finances and how everything would work if you weren't bringing home a paycheck. I think it needs to be a joint decision, but it's not an unreasonable wish.