I'm About Ready To Leave!!!!!

Becky - posted on 04/27/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Alright, so my youngest got RSV about a month and half ago which was almost 3 months old. Well, now her and my oldest (5 1/2 years) is sick AGAIN. Not sure if it's the same dam thing or not. BUT, my kids do not go anywhere, they don't have any friends outside of daycare and if they go over to families houses i make sure they aren't sick. This makes me livid, I'm so tired of my babies getting sick.

Last time they got sick I asked alm ost begged my fiancee to help me disinfect the house... can you guess what happened!?!?!?! He didn't help me! I'm afraid to ask him again this time because I'm afraid it's going to be the same dam thing! If it is, I'll leave I can't deal with this! I do SO much for our kids and him, I neglect myself. I can't do it! I wanna walk out!


HELP!

9 Comments

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Ashley - posted on 05/14/2010

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Take care of yourself first. The less stress you feel (the better taken care of you are) the easier it'll be to handle all the sicknesses. There's no reason to be a martyr. A happy mom means happy kids and the reverse is true (at least in my opinion).

Dana - posted on 05/13/2010

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Maybe that is why they are sick, you have not exposed them to basic germs. It is a proven fact. Check into it.. Good Luck, and hope babies feel well soon.

Carma - posted on 05/13/2010

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Just remeber once you leave you can never go back to the way things are. This would only create more problems for you and your kids and your husband.
Having kids and a husban to take care of is hard, I have two kids and two jobs and a husband,it has taken a long time to get the family working as a unit, it does not always go smooth, and there are times i want to run away to but then i remember that i choose to have kids withthis man that i love , and i choose to have those kids and i choose to make life for them , me and him as whole as i can, once you choose to have kids you give up your life in a way , they come first and your needs come second, that is not such a bad thing,. That is life and we choose to have kids and now we give them what we can.
Kids will get sick no matter how clean our house is or where they go, it is part of growing up and life in general and we can not contoll everything. Give yourself a break , dont be so hard on yourself and things will be fine. Let them be kids and let you be you. you can not protect them from all the germs in the world , no one can.

Stacie - posted on 05/11/2010

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sounds like you are completely stressed out you need to take a break why not go for a walk and then when back home a nice bubble bath and then out for a couple of drinks with friends when you get home you will feel a lot more like yourself. as for your fiancee tell him how you are feeling and if he doesnt want to help you out more then it should be him walking not you i wouldnt stick to it so why should you the children have two parents not one

[deleted account]

I feel your pain. My boys have tested my sanity multilple times with sickness. If one gets it the other will always get it too. My husband even catches their illness sometimes and that means I have three "babies" to pamper.
I have learned this...even though my children go straight to daycare and straight home they are exposed to more than meets the eye. Any children in the daycare that have older siblings are exposed to all sorts of things brought home from school. We as parents bring home things from work and think nothing of it because our immune systems can handle it.
The way I've learned to battle this is by constantly washing my hands. (As moms we do most of the handling of the children.) I make an effort to teach my boys to do the same but boys will be boys. I have a one month old too so I teach the older ones to not touch his hands and face. I keep a can of Lysol on hand and spray my doorknobs and appliance handles occasionally. During the winter when sickness peaks for us, I'll run a tub of water with Pinesol, Lysol, or other kind of disinfectant and place all plastic/water resistant toys in for a quick wash. Toss'em on a couple of towels and let dry.
As a working mom their is a lot on your plate, so finding time to tend to you is just as important and vital as feeding your children. Look at it this way. If you were to never sleep and allow your body rest how helpful would you be after about a week? NOT HELPFUL AT ALL. You would be too exhausted, stressed from never stopping, cranky from lack of sleep, etc. The same thing happens when you don't take care of you.

About getting help from your fiance. I take a different approach to my husband. I tell him about the frequency of my children's sickness and ask for his suggestions on how to prevent it. This way he knows I respect his opinion and I get a better reaction from him. Hope this helps.

[deleted account]

Becky ~ Just try to relax. Stressing out is normal when you have sooooo many things on your plate. You sound so angry. Do you think you are going thru post pardum depression as well as everything else you are dealing with? I just started on this network ~ so I am not really familiar with this "blogging" thing ~ I would suggest working on YOU ~ do something nice for yourself and let your fiancee' know that the feelings you are having is not you being "mean" (or a B-I....) but these are real things that are not completely under your control and he needs to be patient and understanding with you. Your children can have their immune systems built up with the right supplement ~ My daughter has an 18 month old and a 4 month old and neither one of them has really been sick ~ ~ Plus ~ maybe what you are using to disinfect the house is actually causing them to be sick because of the chemicals in the products you are using ?? Becky ~ I pray that this helps you in some way ~maybe gives you some thoughts that never crossed your mind... Just hang in there and if your fiancee' will not help and will not be patient and understand what your going thru .... threaten divorce lol LoL ~ I am not sure how you respond back to me on this blog thing ~ Do not even know if I will know how to get back in here ~ email me if you wish to... SoRuDreaming@gmail.com ~ ~ Peace To You, Susan

Sheena - posted on 04/30/2010

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Have a talk with him and demand some help. Let him know you have put yourself second for long enough and your wants are no different then other women. So he is stuck with the want of help no matter where he goes. Pick his day off. You wil probably have to weene him slowly into helping little by little. You wont get a changed man overnight unfortunally. Stay positive!

Jasmine - posted on 04/27/2010

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It sounds like you guys need to have a talk. Do not let whatever the problem is sit and fester any longer than it already is. The end result will not be good. My husband and I are working through some issues now because we didn't communicate with each other. It's not fun or healthy for you to walk around feeling afraid to ask for help.

Joy - posted on 04/27/2010

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You need to take care of yourself too. Your babies need a peaceful, sane, happy mother. If your fiance refuses to help, have a long talk with him and see what the issue is. I don't really have much advice, but good luck and take care.

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