i miss everything!!

Babymama - posted on 06/06/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Well today is awards day at my daughters school and guess were i am at.....work, work, work. It feels like i miss all the good stuff with her. Like two weeks ago i missed her 1st scored run in her softball game and her first homerun hit in the same dang week! These are just times you dont get to have again and im expecting my second child in aug ( a boy :)) and all i can think about is all the good stuff im going to be missing with not only one child but TWO.(not that my daughter is any less important but that twice as much stuff to be missing out on) I know as a mother it is my responsiblity to make sure my kids are supported and this is why i have worked a full time job cents i was 16 only missing 3 days of work cents i started the work force.....on my days off im usually so tired from the weeks work that all i can do is rest......is it really worth having what lil extra's in life i can come up with to miss all of the big days in my kids life. At this point i think we can live with a lil less to be able to live alil more.....

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For me, missing everything was too big a sacrifice, but everyone is different. I don't make as much as I could in my career because I set my schedule around J's activities, and I don't work June, July, Aug, Sept, or Dec, and I take time off in Oct for his birthday & Nov for Thanksgiving because we travel and it's just too much to plan work around. When I do work, I work only 2 days a week, 3 if I must, while he is at school. This allows me to be home for him after school, and leaves at least 2 days for me to volunteer at school.

Perhaps you could scale down your work schedule to allow more time with your kids, or just work around their schedules. Work late when she doesn't have a game so that you can take time off to go to the game and awards ceremonies. I don't know what kind of work you do, but it seems that if you've only missed 3 days since you started working, you should have some vacation time or personal time built up. You don't always have to use it for actual vacations, you can usually just take a day here and there for family time.

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Katherine - posted on 06/11/2012

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Same thing happened to me! My daughter got Student of the Month and I had to work. I felt SO bad!

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I LOVE being a SAHM ( I consider myself a SAHM June-Sept & a working mom Oct-May). It took a long time for me to find the right balance--I quit working and went back to work 3 times before I finally decided to be a SAHM once and for all. I didn't work again until this past winter when I opened a small studio as more of a hobby than a job (though it became quite demanding very quickly). If you do become a SAHM though, there are a few VERY important things to consider first.

1. Make sure you have an escape route. I know things may be great right now, but men are fickle, and there is no way to know if your marriage will work out long term. Before you quit your job, just put $10-15k of your own salary into a savings account that only you have access to, then DON'T TOUCH IT unless you need to make a getaway. That will be enough to make a deposit on a rental, get utilities set up, and support you until you can get back into the workforce.

2. Keep your professional skills. You never know when you may need to reenter the workforce, or maybe you'll just want to. Keep your skills fresh by volunteering in areas that relate to your field. Volunteer work is great for moms because most places are so desperate for help they will bend over backwards to work around your schedule.

3. Make sure you discuss how money will be dealt with before you stop working. A lot of times the breadwinner will resent the sahp for not contributing financially and this causes a strain in the relationship. Also, many sahp feel they have no right to spend any money on themselves and this leads to depression, stress, and feelings of worthlessness that can become very serious.

Consider those things, and I'm sure you will be happy no matter what you choose :)

Natalie - posted on 06/07/2012

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hi there, of all the posts i was looking at, yours really caught my eye...you need to stop missing everything...period...you will sooo regret it.. You didn't mention how many hours a week you work..and for you to miss a softball game and award day at school, you must work shift work? I know that you are doing the best you can...and work really gets the best of us sometimes...but maybe you could ask the teacher about any special upcoming events at your daughter's school, and keep the date (or at least the hour or two) free...that's what i do, and then i work around it by working a little later or what not....these are precious, precious times, and you do not get them back...sending you hugs and well wishes xx

Babymama - posted on 06/07/2012

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I starting talking to my soon to be husband about me being a sahm lastnite. The saddness i feel everytime i miss things hurts to bad and i couldn't hold it in anymore. I wish i could work around her event but the kind of work i do isn't very flexable. Im hoping in the next month or so i will be able to quit my job and have all the time in the world to spend with my kid(s). Like you said Kelly...missing everything is too big a sacrifice...

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