I need some good advice/opinions on some schedule issues I am having with my sitter

Heather - posted on 07/25/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My baby's sitter is a very nice person, and my baby is in no way in danger or anything that serious. My only problem is that she will not adhere to my baby's sleeping schedule. It is a pretty big deal to my husband and I because we both work full time jobs and there are many times that my daughter will come home WIDE AWAKE until midnight or later, because my sitter has had her napping for 4 or 5 of the 8 hours that my baby is there. Yes, I have discussed this with her more than once, to the point where I think I even upset her, but I am having a hard time understanding what is going on over there. Now, we have been sending Rowan to her aunt's house all summer (she is a teacher so has the summer off) and she has never once napped for more that 2 hours over there, at home, or in my mom's care. So I don't get how she could possibly be so tired at the sitter's house. She actually has had to get up earlier to go to her aunt's so you'd think she would need more sleep, but no, still no more than 2 hours. The sitter will "keep my baby awake" for a few days after I talk to her, then it's like we never had the conversation. She goes right back to having her sleep half the day until I have to talk to her again. I suspect that she let's her cry although when I asked she told me no that never happens. Also I work in a pretty small office of 35 people, where both her dad and her soon-to-be husband both work. This makes me feel a little awkward when I have to adress her constantly about the sleep issue. They have never said anything to me, but I have always gotten along with them, and now I feel like there may be tension, since I think I really ticked her off the last time I spoke with her on this. I may be imagining the tension at work, but is it time to look for a different sitter or should I continue with the sleep struggle? After all, I know this person better than anyone else I'd have to hire...

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Sarah - posted on 07/27/2009

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A new sitter may be the best thing, and coming up with an excuse to avoid offending your co-workers shouldn't be too hard. For this sitter, an unannounced visit in the middle of the day might answer some of your questions. You could plan it around when nap time should be over and see for yourself what's going on in the house. It's never easy with a sitter but you are the parent's and that needs to be respected.

Cidalia - posted on 07/27/2009

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It sounds a little odd that she would be so tired at the sitter's house when she never naps longer than 2 hours elsewhere. Could it be because she finally gets to bed so late at night and then you have to wake her early to take her to the sitter? Still, you mentioned that her getting up earlier to go to her aunt's house didn't result in a nap longer than two hours. I'd hate to think that she's letting her cry or even worse, I've heard of sitters (rare, but it has happened) who gave children medication like Benadryl to make them sleep. Either way, something's not right. Just the fact that the sitter can't respect your instructions means it's time for baby to go to another sitter.

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I had a really hard time with my first sitter. I started looking for another sitter and was lucky enough to find a great one, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I know it's awkward, and really uncomfortable but she is paid to take care of your child and she should do as you wish. I learned from my mistake with my first sitter to be very direct from the beginning. I hope you get this problem solved, I feel for you. Good Luck!

Tracey - posted on 07/25/2009

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When my son was younger I had a few issues with my childminder and ended up putting him into a nursery and it was the best thing I had ever done as the they put them down for a nap for about 1hr a day and the noise and companionship from the other children kept him awake as he ws scared he was missing out. I dont know if this will help as if you move her would it upset her and the people at work. I hope you sort this out soon.

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Andrea - posted on 08/21/2009

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Sorry about that! I guess I shoul've kept reading on! haha I'm new at this facebook thing! I'm glad it worked out well for you!

Andrea - posted on 08/21/2009

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As an experienced nanny for 10 years and now a new mother of a 4 month old who sees a sitter when I work, I'd say do what makes you feel more at ease. She's YOUR daughter, and if your sitter can't follow your directions, then go with another sitter. Don't be scared about the tension, because she is employed by you to watch your child. If she can't do the job right, even after multiple times of speaking with her, then let her go! You can do it, and have faith you will find a new sitter who suits you and your family best!

Heather - posted on 08/21/2009

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Quick update - yes it was a little awkward at work at first, but I am over it and I couldn't be happier with my new sitter! My baby adores her already and she is crazy about my little one! I have seen more facebook posts from the old sitter, still bragging about her 40 minute workouts she is getting while watching those other kids. I even heard she got another 2 year old! What a relief it is to know that I don't have to be worried or frustrated about what my baby is doing during all of her "me time"!

Heather - posted on 08/09/2009

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Thanks to all of you for your advice. I guess I just felt like I needed more people to reinforce what I already thought, that my sitter was not working out. I just hired a lady who has been running an in home daycare for 24 years, she is my neighbor and she takes her job seriously. She teaches her prescool aged kids and has many activity stations for the babies. She even has photos hanging on her walls of 'her kids' she has been watching for years. She keeps all kids on the parents' schedules and is pretty much dedicated to nothing but these kids and babies. No internet, no workouts, no "me time" while she is being paid. I do feel guilty about pulling my baby out of the other sitter's care, I really do like her as a person. Also I am a little worried about it being awkward for me at work tomorrow, but bottom line is that I feel more confident about my baby's caregiver.

Sarah - posted on 07/27/2009

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A new sitter might be the best answer and you could always come up with an excuse so as not to offend your co-workers. But for this sitter, if it's possible an unannounced visit in the middle of the day could answer some of your questions. Try around nap time or when it should be over to see that status of the household. Maybe she's just not good at balancing everything that's going on in the house.

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