I really don't want to go back to work and leave my babies...
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Alexi - posted on 03/19/2010
I have 2 daughters, 5 and 2, and have wished since they were born that I was able to keep them home with me. I work from home for a company that will not allow me to keep them with me while I work. I have tried to tell myself over the years that it was a good thing for them to be in childcare (and they are smart as whips), but I do miss the time I have lost with them.
If you are having these feelings, start saving and paying off bills like crazy so you can put your family in a position where you can stay home. We were not so smart with some financial decisions and are in better shape, but not the shape we need to be for me to have the youngest home (since the oldest is now in school).
I recently started a WFH business that has chipped away at our debt (almost debt free except our mortgage!), and I am finally well on my way to saying goodbye to my corporate position.
Sally - posted on 07/30/2013
First sit down and do a detailed budget. Can you live without your salary? Some women find that after they add up the daycare, travel, wardrobe, cleaning, lunches, etc. it's actually costing them money to go to work. Many find that if they're willing to give up a few luxuries (eat out less often, make your latte at home instead of buying it, do your own hair or nails, etc.), they can afford to stay home with their kids.
If you do have to work, can you do at least part of it from home or maybe even switch to a work from home job?
If you have to leave her, make sure it is with someone you trust and that you can check in frequently. Is there a good daycare close enough to your job that you could visit her on your lunch? I agree with Alexi about paying off bills and saving so you can be home with her later.
Christine - posted on 07/23/2013
My baby is three and a half months ! I finacialley need to work ! Had a c section and tryed to go back when he was two and half months old had problems due to surgery ! Was on bed rest for seven months ! Really hard for me to get into swing of working ! I don't want to leave my son ! I don't want to miss everything ! The only person I don't mind leaving him with is his dad ! Don't know how to overcome this !
Jennifer - posted on 02/23/2010
If only the United States would adopt more civil and progressive maturnity leave policies that all other civilized countries in the world foster. We have some of the worst policies here in the States. The age at which we are required to leave our newborns with a caretaker is simply horrifying and goes against every maternal instinct. Here are is a link to maternity leave times from across the globe.
Melissa - posted on 02/22/2010
I went back to work when my daughter was 6 weeks old. It was hard, i'm not going to lie to you. I felt guilty taking less time off than most of my friends had, and it was scary handing over such a tiny baby. But she actually did really well. 6-week-old babies are very adaptable. Now my daughter is a 16-month-old who loves her daycare and has lots of little friends and good relationships with the caregivers who've known her since 6 weeks. Some of the babies who came in much older seemed to have a harder time with the transition. I like to think that she'll have an easy transition to preschool and kindergarden too, because she's always gone to school. She's also developing a bit faster in some skills because she has slightly older kids modeling the behaviors.
On a practical note, I learned that if I packed the diaper bag and made up her bottles (and fridged them) the night before, it helped us get out of the house more quickly in the mornings. Good luck - you'll be fine!
Christina - posted on 02/21/2010
hun if you have any advice pass it along. my little one turned 6 weeks 2days ago and i went back to work yesterday. when i got home i almost cried cuz i missed her so much. i have missed out on my other 2 growing up because of work and dont want to miss out again since this is my last one. so if you figure it out or anyone knows of a way to work and stay home im all ears
Sandra - posted on 02/21/2010
Have you ever thought of switching careers? Direct selling is a great way to earn unlimited income and work the hours you want so you can be home with your kids. If you want to know more let me know. Email me at email@example.com
Stephanie - posted on 02/21/2010
I can say this is one of the hardest things I have done so far. My baby is almost 9 months old and I have been back at work for 6 months now. I know my baby is in good hands and safe while I'm at work, and I'm glad she is getting that special time to bond with her dad, grandma and uncles. But every day is still a struggle for me. I leave the house by 6:30am and I don't get home until almost 5 pm. Somedays my baby is with her grandma for almost 12 hours and I only get 3 hours to spend with her. How do you get through this? Unfortunately being a stay at home mom right now is not financially an option so I know I must work, but ladies, how do you handle this??? What are your solutions??
Katherine - posted on 02/21/2010
Good luck with returning, I don't think I could have done it at 6 weeks. I feel very grateful that I live in the UK & we have much more generous maternity leave. I can take 12 months off, the last 3 months are unpaid, but for the first 9 months you'll get some pay (may not be very much but it's better than nothing!). My daughters are 22 months & 3.5 months and I am already worried about going back to work when my youngest is almost 1.
Anna - posted on 02/19/2010
Good luck with returning. I found the first week the hardest and cried all the way to work the first day. It will get easier. But as some of the other posts said, if there are options for you to delay your return or consider other options, it may be worth thinking through your choices.
I offer coaching for Mums returning to work if you think that might help you.
Good luck, Anna
PS If you're still breast-feeding, make sure you cut down well in advance and take breast pads to work!
Bonnie - posted on 02/19/2010
Under FMLA you are legally allowed to take 12 weeks of leave...maybe you could consider extending your leave to longer since you don't feel ready now. I completely understand - when my son was born I was certainly not ready at 6 weeks, but by the time he was 10 weeks I was ready to go back to work! I didn't have any trouble dropping him off at daycare because I found a good one and knew he was in good hands. Picking him up from daycare is a real treat - he's always so excited to see me!
Belle - posted on 02/19/2010
well it's really hard to leave a baby specially if its a 6 week old only. I feel the same way too when i return to work and leave my baby with my mom and sister. They will be the one who taking care of my baby when i am in work, considering that it was my first baby. But my mind is at peace because i know that my baby is safe w/ my family. But even though i still have to call every hour to check my baby but when i am home i will give my time to my baby for him to feel my love. And i always talk to my baby telling him that mommy needs to work because i wanted to give him a better future i want to earn money and save for his future and his needs. Talking to your baby will help you not to feel guilty. That was my opinion
Cassandra - posted on 02/18/2010
Take it gradually maybe go back part time and then work into going full time. Try to have a family member take care of your little one that you can call and check in on them whenever you want. My husband used to bring the baby to me on breaks (we worked opposite shifts to avoid daycare) and I would breastfeed or just sit and hold him. Also making sure that you have a picture of your child on your desk or in your wallet to remember why you are working helps.
My son was viciously attacked when I left him with my sister in law and she decided to drop him off randomly with a neighbor so she could go to dinner. I fear everyday that I leave, but I know that he's safe with my husband and that I can always call and talk to him. Another peace of mind is my father lives in town and will randomly stop by just to play with the boys and always calls to tell me how much fun they are having. After many bad experiences the only thing I can really say is it will take a lot of time and you won't be 100% sure ever, but making a good life for your child is always worth it.
I don't regret working. On my desk is a picture of my family and on my wall are all of my kiddos handprints. I still call home 3 times a day to check on them and sometimes will even call the school where my son is to make sure that he's ok. And as a parent you have that right. As a parent you do what you have to do but remember if a job isn't flexible enough to let you leave early if you need to then it isn't worth it.
Paula - posted on 02/18/2010
I know how you feel Danielle... I have taken over a year out with my son and am due back to work soon... not looking forward to it at all. The thought of two major upheavals... the first being having to leave your previous child to the care of someone other than you, and the second being getting your head back around your job role... and getting back into it properly while feeling torn at leaving your baby. I am dreading my 1st day. With this in mind I like the idea of starting childcare a little while before so both me and my son can get used to it. That way when I return to work the process will be easier for both. Good luck x
Debra - posted on 02/18/2010
I can't say that I know how you feel be cause I never experienced having to leave my child and go to work, but I can imagine how I would have felt because of the four children that I have, which are now adults. I couldn't stand the thoughts of leaving my children . That is why My husband and I made the decision for me to stay home. With the cost of child care and what I was making it made more sense for me to stay home. He was not making a lot of money but enough to get us the necessities that we needed. I thank God for seeing us through that part of our lives. While I was a stay at home mom, I was always trying to find something for me to do at home to help supplement the income. I spent all kind of money, answered all kind of ads, for earn money from home, which all turned out to be no good, money wasted. So I gave up on that idea, until seven years ago a friend of mine told me about this great company that she had found where she shop online for her household and personal care products with an eco friendly company with safer products. Have you ever thought about being a stay at home mom and earn income? They give all their new customers $100.00 in free products..just for trying things out. Where you can participate in the revenue sharing program and get your products free each month. To me that just made sense. You are going to buy the products anyway, so I partnered up with my friend and now I am enjoying the benefits of shopping online or phone for my detergent, cleaners, personal care products,skin care products from a well known model. Plus you earn extra Loyalty shopping dollars when you shop that can be used for other products. Everything is a 100% satisfaction guaranteed. Do you know of another company that will pay you for buying the things that we use in your everyday life? I don't know of one. My home is now chemical free, I learned that many of the cleaners and personal care products contained ingredients that are linked to cancer, asthma, ADD. reproductive behavior and much more. Scientist say that the things we have under our sinks are like a loaded guns to a child. Did you know that baby shampoo contain formaldehyde, which has been linked to cancer. Our company only advertise by word of mouth. I would love to share this information with you and anyone who is looking for eco friendly products and can get them free. Just drop me a note and I will send you the Info. if interested
P.S When the time come for you to go to work I am sure everything will work out for you and it will be hard, we just have to PRAY a little more.
Gloria - posted on 02/17/2010
I understand... and how well I remember being totally overcome with tears. That first day is the roughest... and as long as you know that they are in the best of hands then the struggle become easier. So load your pockets with kleenex... you're gonna need them.
I agree with Eva - knowing your precious little one is in great hands makes all the difference in the world. I would also suggest maybe starting a week or two early if possible and drop your little one off like two days during the week for a half or whole day whatever you need. This might help both of you get used to the change. My only other suggestion would be to make sure you tell your little one goodbye and then leave. Don't linger ... lingering only makes it harder and as long as they are in good hands you will be okay. Good luck!
Eva - posted on 02/17/2010
I know how you feel; I was able to stay home with my baby for 12 weeks and still felt that it was way TOO EARLY to return to work. I have been back to work now for a month and a half and struggle with it everyday. The only relief I have is to know that my baby is in great hands during the day....
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