Is anyone else overwhelmed?

Sally - posted on 02/02/2013

your not alone im right there with you,although my children are older.I was pulled out of work i worked as a aid before that a housekeeper i have copd and r.arthritis recently i had a nervous breakdown.i have been hospitalized three times for copd was told i have one lung left the other has asthma and bronchitis in it and barely function.My mother in law had a heart attack and my sister in 38 had a stroke and can barley talk now.I now live by the weather when i come in from the cold and have to go to doctors,my body goes numb and then once im in side the pain starts and stay and its so painful ill cry and cry,when you think life is to much write me.It is going to take along time for me to get over my breakdown if you ever want to write here is my email .yellowrosesally@yahoo.com

Amanda - posted on 04/24/2012

I am feeling the exact same way. I have a 4 yr old and a 16 mo. old and am 35 weeks pregnant. I feel extremely overwhelmed most of the time, but I know somehow I'll get through it just as I have in the past. We'll have our good days and our bad. Try to focus on the good. My house is trashed most of the time. I'm lucky if the dishes get done on a daily basis. I'd like to think that those with a seemingly perfect clean home just have a housekeeper, because otherwise I would lose it trying to figure out their secret. My husband helps when he can but he works three jobs and comes home very late. Thank goodness he is a strong support system, or things could be a lot tougher.

Alexandria - posted on 10/12/2011

Thanks!
Things have become slightly better as i am a bit more organized now .... still overwhelmed but not as much as before. I am now just over 32 weeks pregnany and starting to get nervous about adding another child into this crazy lifestyle that we are living but i am sure it will all be fine. What i have been doing the last few weekends is trying to declutter the house - have been disposing of anything that we dont need or that hasnt been used in years. This is making alot of space and making things alot easier to keep clean and organized. I really like the suggestion about the laundry hampers as that has been a HUGE help. Also i have just learnt to expect the fact that because i have children no one should expect that my house be spotless at all times. I generally try to keep the house clean but cant promise it will be tidy. I have 2 boys and they like to play and have their toys out so that is the way it is going to be. If my freinds and family are not ok with it then they are not welcome to come over to my house. I am NOT super woman and i CANT do everything. Even thou there sure are days when i wish i could. Thanks again for all the kind suggestions and words of encouragement, they sure have been appreciated.

Betsy - posted on 10/11/2011

You and all of the ladies posting here are my heros. I'm 29 weeks pregnant with my first child and I work a full time job with an hour commute. And I often find myself overwhelmed lately because I'm exhausted and every part of my body just seems to ache. I never really got that second trimester break from fatique that so many talk about. I've wanted this baby a long time so I don't like to admit when I'm feeling overwhelmed and I dont' like to complain. Some days when I get home from work all I can do is sit in a chair, hug my spouse and cry. I realize its just because I'm so tired that emotionally I have no other way to process the whole experience. I can't even imagine having children, being pregnant and working full-time. My personal opinion is that even if you can't get it all done your doing an amazing job. Cut yourself some slack and remember that making a baby is hard work even if you can't always see the action taking place.

Nana - posted on 06/22/2011

Hire a maid for once/week - it'll save your sanity. Green clean methods are offered everywhere now. Good luck!

Karen - posted on 06/22/2011

that is good that you are able to take friday off of work..and that will not cut into your time with your son..good luck :)

Alexandria - posted on 06/22/2011

My eldest son is 5 and is a great help, but through the week he is so tired from a long day at daycare that he just wants to sit and cuddle before bed (which is great, but doesnt help me get the house work done). I have decided to take Friday off of work just so that i can have a chance to get some things done, so at least i should feel a bit better after friday!

Karen - posted on 06/22/2011

that's wonderful news..that your girls are able to pitch in and make some money at the same time.

Dawn - posted on 06/22/2011

yes i have had the same feeling. i was working full time plus haveing 2 kids, my oldest is adhd and odd. my hubby works full time plus that in a week. im now at home full time and still way behind in cleaning lol. but the kids are happier. have started a chart for the girls so that they can help out around the house and get an allowence for helping clean. so far its starting to work. they get $10 every 2 weeks. (for them thats alot lol ) to spend or save.

Karen - posted on 06/22/2011

The way i look at it..your home will be there long after your kids have grown and moved on..lol
You get just one chance to watch your children grow..and spending time with them is much more important than a perfect clean house..doing one thing a day to get acomplished is good.if you have neices/nephew who want to make some extra money helping around..cleaning is always an option, that will take off the burden from you..and give them a sense of responsibility..i was always told don't sweat the small stuff, good luck.. :}

Aunie - posted on 06/21/2011

I only have two children and I feel overwhelmed when everyday things pile up, ie.,laundry, dishes... So I started an 'at-home' business so that I could supplement our income. And with potential of becoming an income replacement. I only put in 5+ hours per week (including weekends). That is just talking to friends and family at work or while I'm home. I feel that if I can replace my income at work with this opportunity, then I will stay home with my kids instead of working in an office. The commute alone feels like I am taking so much time away from my family. So my motivation is to be with them as often as possible. Don't stress! You're not alone. :)

Alexandria - posted on 06/21/2011

Thanks ladies for all your kind comments and thoughts. I am glad to know that i am not alone.
A cleaning service is not really an option for me at this time as i live out in the country and the nearest towns are very small and everyone knows everyone. People "talk" alot and i would not want everyone to know what kind of shape my house is in. I do have sisters that dont live too far away and my parents are close so they try to lend a hand when they can. It seems like even on weekends i dont have enough time to catch up and it is just driving me nuts. I do what i can but right now i just dont think i am putting enough effort in so i will just have to smarten up a little bit and try to get more done. Lately i have just been going to bed early because i am SO tired, but hopefully i will get more energy back soon.
Tonight my son has his last soccer game and then a swimming party after - so it is going to be nuts. I dont even have time to get home after work before going back to town for the soccer game. So i have just packed everything into the car with us this morning and will just head to the game after work. I will be glad when soccer season is over lol.
Anyways i am supposed to be working so i better get at it, thanks again!!!

Constance - posted on 06/20/2011

I have this stress as well. I don't work outside of the house but I have 8 children to keep up with, WFH full time, full time student, homeschool 2 of them not to mention all the homework after school. All three meals, laundry, and doctor's appointments. I have at least four visit per week with just one child. For my daughter's health I have to keep the house completely clean. Even with the kids now beening old enough I have a cleaninservice come in once a week to do the deep cleaning. The walls and baseboards mainly. But it is stressful because my husband works in another state so he doesn't get to come home except for every couple of monthes unless he is out of the country then it can be longer.

You have 2 kids and preggers with #3 of course you are exhausted. I would look into a cleaning service a couple o times a week. You can have them clean specific areas that you are having a difficult time keeping up with. If you can't do that then just breath and do what you can. Having a house that is some what messy isn't a major deal. You not getting overly stressed out is the most important thing right now. Not if you we able to vaccuum the rug.

Sasha - posted on 06/20/2011

Girl I get overwhelmed with and I only have 1 child. She's 18months old. The only way I can get chores done around my house is the 2hr nap she takes during the day and after she goes to bed at night. You must feel incredibly frusterated your 5year old probably doesn't nap anymore does he? With getting my chores done when my daughter is sleeping doesn't give me any ME time. And I think that's what we all need. At least one day a week get a little ME time in and do what we want to do. A hobby perhaps?(Mine's scrapbooking) or get some pampering, get your hair and nails done. Whatever you like to do. At least once a week should be a day (or just a couple hours) for you!

Jennifer - posted on 06/20/2011

OK...in addition to all the other great advice...(you can't get it all, learn how to "not see" what needs to be done, etc)...here's a few little tricks I do. Buy LOTS of Clorox wipes and keep them handy. While I sit and rest on the toilet, I clean anything in reach with them...wash the shower walls while you're still in there (with mild detergent, of course.) and wipe down as much as the bathroom when you get out in the morning and the walls and foor are still steamy. Get TWO pop-up hanpers per kid...one for dirty, one for clean. Sometimes it OK to not put them away in the drawer, but fold them as you take them out fo the dryer! (thats a must.) Only have out as many dishes as you really need for each person of the household, and have them start washing their own dish and spoon, etc. (yess, even the 3 yr old can wash a bowl) I also use one Sunday a month to make a big pot of salad or Chili or some favorite casserole to heat up most of the week so more time can be spent together eating it than preparing it.



Hope that helps...



~ from a Mom who worked full time, had two kids, and went to college for her Master's at nights and weekends!

Dena - posted on 06/19/2011

You are not alone, I work fulltime and have 2 children. My husband works nights at a bar/nightclub and I work in retail. My daughters are going to be 10 and 9 this August, so I do remember the OMG!!! I can't get ANYTHING done around here feeling. First of all, give yourself a break, so what if you're not on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens-as long as Clean House or Hoarders is not knocking on your door-you are fine. I have recently taken 2 steps back in my career to spend more time at home-my older daughter started struggling in school-when I was working 45-50 hours a week and coming home to homework, dinner and showertime-this was my strategy: get some baskets/cubbys-one for everyone-have the kids decorate or choose thier favorite color-and play "pick up the stuff" games for about 10 minutes each night. At age 3 and 4 my daughters fell in love with swiffer dusters so come dusting time all I had to do was the tops of ledges and other things they could not reach. I made a "chore chart" for myself and TRIED to get one each night (sometimes I didn't get to it-oh well!) In my perfect world one load of laundry would get washed/dried/folded and put away every night-but in my REAL world sometimes it takes 2 nights. My husband does help out alot-but there is always SO MUCH to get done. Sometimes I still feel overwhelmed-but I have learned to understand that I am human not machine-and you need to forgive yourself that too! Most importantly-take at least 10 minutes a night to read to or with your children. It makes you and them feel so much better! Good luck and remember: when you are feeling overwhelmed, there are a bunch of us out there feeling the same!

Gennie - posted on 06/18/2011

I often feel overwhelmed. My kids are 16 and almost 20 years old. I just believe the most important way you can spend your time is paying attention to your kids. They will move out sooner than you realize. Do what little you have to do to keep your house tolerable. Don't try to be superwoman, your kids don't care about that. They care about whether you really listen to them, look at them when they ask you to, and make them feel loved and important. Everything doesn't get done when you have kids at home. Anyone who says otherwise is not truthful. You have every reason to feel tired. Just don't spend this precious time in ways you will look back and regret, you can't get back the time to spend with your kids.

Shelagh - posted on 06/17/2011

I would say to every woman that is feeling overwhelmed - do one thing and one thing only. Check out the cost of a cleaner. Don't say you can't afford one until you've checked it out. It's amazing how much housework someone can get done in a couple of hours when they're not having to look after kids at the same time. Back in the day, when my husband and I were both working full time, driving over an hour each way to work, and we had 5 school age kids between us, a cleaner was the only thing between me and a nervous breakdown. It was pure heaven to come home on a Thursday evening and find the floors clean, the surfaces dusted, and the ironing done. I still did the washing, and I insisted on the kids cleaning their own rooms anyway. Don't say you can't afford it - it's one of the few parts of your life that you can delegate, so delegate it.

Karen - posted on 06/16/2011

Sometimes everything can't get done. What matters most is that you are spending that time with your children. As far as the house, I just do what I feel like doing, when I feel like doing it. There are usually at least 1 day where I get the energy and the umph to clean per week. Sometimes not. But that's when I try to get as much done as I can since I'm wanting to do it. Then I don't worry much about what didn't get done knowing that eventually i will get it caught up. Sometimes the kids want to help me. We will put some fun music on and plan to have the house clean to surprise Daddy when he gets home. Lol. We clean together until they get bored.

Kensya - posted on 06/16/2011

Heck yeah! I have 3 year old twins. My husband works law enforcement, in fact he just got home from a 12.5 hour shift and is laying in bed sleep leaving me to care for our children bathe them etc. Oh did I mention that I've been up since 5am and I work fulll time as well 8-5 on the job! My kitchen in the only clean room in my house mainly b/c I haven't had time to cook in it this week. I'm burnt out and have been for 3 years now! Some days are better than others but today just isn't one of them :(

Amanda - posted on 06/16/2011

you are definetly not alone. i only have one child but i work long days and i try to spend the precious hour or two i have on weeknights with daughter playing with her. i eat dinner after she goes to bed so while she is eating i tidy the kitchen throw a load of laundry thru the washer and do the night befores dishes. then right after she goes to bed i get everything ready for the next day so its less for me to do in the morning and then i head to bed. major cleans i save for the weekends.
i will say this. life is messy and kids are definetly messy, and if your house doesnt look like children live there, then there is something wrong (in my opinion). its their house too. i think a home should be lived in. just do the best that you can and if you need help dont be afraid to ask for it from fam or friends. and if your kids are old enough get them to help you clean with what they are able to. make it a fun game for them and you to play together.

Tiffany - posted on 06/16/2011

you are not alone. I have a 2 year old and 5 mo old (and my husband wants to get pregnant again soon EEK) but my husband works very long days to where he gets home at night, eats the dinner i made, and then goes to bed. SO he doesnt help with house work and barely helps with the kids. I no longer work full time, but I still have to do all the running for his business and get the stuff for the house and kids, make the meals and working on potty training. So no you are not alone.
(by the way my house is trashed :( I have three days to get it clean before my son gets baptized eek!)

If you have any one at all that you can lean on i would recommend that you do it from time to time. That is the only way i stay sane.

Gina - posted on 06/16/2011

well the fact that you have 2 kids and you are pregnant i can see why you may be exhausted... every mothers house is not deffintly clean all the time...do it when you can, im pretty sure ur children would rather be spending time with you rather than watching you clean.. and if it is bugging you maybe when you get a day off get the grandparents to watch them for a few hours so you can get caught up..you need time to yourself aswell...Good luck