Jessica - posted on 04/11/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )
My brother and I were 10 years apart in age, with me being the oldest. As a result, I was more like a second mom and fierce protector than a sister. We didn't really start to get close as siblings until we were both adults. Unfortunately, when I was 28 and my brother 18, just as we began to grow close and become friends, my brother was killed in a motorcycle accident. I always envied my friends the friendship they all seemed to have with their siblings, and regret missing the chance to have that with my brother more than anything. For this reason, I have worked hard to make sure my kids are as close as possible. I've always told them that they should be on each other's "side" no matter what, or who, is involved. I've told them that although it is my responsibility to care for them both, they should also take care of each other, and one should never abandon the other in favor of another person. Of course, they each have their own friends and activities, but when they all get together, if any group of kids tries to exclude one of them, I don't allow the "favored one" to play with them either. Sometimes I wonder, if I might somehow make them too close. In other words, I'm afraid I could make them too dependent on one another. Is that possible? Should I back off? I want them to be close, but I don't want to cause their relationship to be unhealthy. I want them to be comfortable functioning separately, I just want each of them to know that the other will stand up for them, and is there to lean on if needed. What should I do?