it's th hardest thng a mom kan eva do

Michelle - posted on 11/15/2009

Sounds like your on the right track, you give her yourself at the end of the day, your teaching her that grown ups have responsibilty. You make the time you have with her special and she's not missing anything. In fact she need to socalize with others and if she's in day care she's getting that. If you could stay home with her all day what would you do with her? Children that experince day care do far better in school. What is your guilt all about? Your giving her a rold model, you do know the chances that she is going to grow up and meet prince charming that support her and the children while she stays home with them is pretty slim. These days have 1 income is hard enough it usally takes two. I don't feel guilty at all, my child is being cared for by people that are trained for it, and he's going to see a responsible person in action. We talk about the day at meal time, we do games and homework, and he's in sports that I cart him too, I would actually feel guilty if I had no job and stayed home. Stop feeling guilty, be proud of yourself that you provide for you child and you manage to come home from a day at work and spend every moment from then on to bed time with her. Do you know how many parents come home tired and kind of half way pay attetion to their children. It sounds to me like you have a balance going on, and guilt is such a useless emotion, serves no purpose.

Norma - posted on 11/15/2009

My husband died when my younghest was 5 months old and when i returned to work I felt an imense sence of gulit and I missed then terribly and was scared that I was going to miss out on so much and I had to trust others to look after them. I stoped and worked out how much i needed to work inorder to keep us in the way of life that I wanted I managed to reduce down from full time work to part time ok i cant go partying but my boys have all they need and the time im away from them I remind my self they are becomeing more independant for it and they dont appear to be any worse off for it. And I love when I go to collect them and they come running so happy to see me. And they cant wait to tell me about there day and they even want to no all about my day as well. So stick with it you will get through it and keep talking to people on how you feel it will help.

Melissa - posted on 11/15/2009

It is normal to feel this way we all do as a mother. I just made sure that when a got home I spend time with them for at least a half hour to a hour and done nothing else but spend time them. You do the same as they get older. I have one eight year old boy and eleven years old girl. I take a day and month with one on one time with each of them. We do something together and talk and walk and ect. You will do this the rest of there lifes. It don't go way. My dad said "You think of them even when they move out of the house.

Alison - posted on 11/13/2009

Remember, that it is not your job as a mother to provide everything for your child. You cannot give what you do not have. Your mother may have been home with you, but I am sure she was not perfect.



All your child really needs is love and shelter, and you are providing that! Don't give up!

Amy - posted on 11/13/2009

it is hard to not be with your baby as they are growing up. I think it depends on who is watching your child. I didn't feel TOO bad because my husband stays at home with our son, but I always felt like I was missing so much. There were times when I would feed my son before leaving for work, then when I got home he would already be in bed for the night!

The thing that made me feel better about it is at about 4 months babies get a better feel for time, and so he finally realized how long I was gone, so he would wake me up in the middle of the night just to look at me. I know that he missed me, and it's SO hard not being home with them.

Just wait till they start walking or crawling and when they see you get home and they just run/crawl towards you giggling! It's a nice feeling knowing you were missed!

The best suggestion I have is to make sure you know who is watching your baby, if your baby is in daycare, spend some time getting to know who is watching your child, it will help you feel better about who is taking care of them. As for missing them, it's only natural, as they miss you too!

It does get better with time :)

Christine - posted on 11/13/2009

THANX ALOT GUYZ UR ADVICE IS VERI HELPFUL

Angelique - posted on 11/12/2009

Thats a normal feeling. I was back at work n week after they came, but your head is on right, you just need to keep telling yourself that its for her. See my husband is in the cumfort zone in work, so he doesnt feel that he needs to look for something else so he can provide for hi family. According to him its the 21st cent and its not the man job to privide anymore. Luckly I only work until 1, but I felt the same. And to be honest I just tell myself that they look forward to see me when I get home. My twin boys are 10 months old and they getting use to the fact that mommy is not home until 1.

It hurts pretty badly, but at the end of the day, if i see something nice for them I know I can buy it for them, I know that I can give them food and a warm bed at night and thats more important.

Remember the little ones know more than we think they do and we should never that that for granted. I love me 2 boys to the end of the earth and I will work even harded to give them a good life, and besides when I get home from work its me and my boys and that bond it better than life itself. And know that you are setting a good example for her, she has someone to look up to, someone that she can oneday say, my mother worked hard and raised me and I want to do that for my children.

Danielle - posted on 11/12/2009

Christine this is a normal feeling. In fact as a daycare provider I find that new moms experience more seperation anxiety than the children. You must remind yourself that you are a great mother and blessed to have a job and be able to provide for your daughter. Do you trust the person you are leaving your daughter with? If so than relax. Check in on her during your breaks and if you know you have left her in good hands than do not worry. Make the most of your time together in the evenings and weekends and know that this is going to be a normal process for your child. One day she will be the one leaving you all day (to go to school) and she will have a much easier time adjusting since she has already learned that it is ok to be away from you and that you will be reunited later. You will also notice how quickly she develops from being around other children.