maternity leave over

Colleen - posted on 07/15/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

12

14

0

My daughter was born April 10th, and I have had the joy of being home with her since then. I work in a school, so I had the whole summer off, while still getting paid. I go back to work in mid-August. I am having a really hard time thinking about it. I have spent pretty much every hour of every day with my beautiful daughter and now I have to be away from her for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. (I have to drive 45-50 minutes to get to work). For those of you who have already made the transition, please give any advice as to how to make it easier. I feel like I will also not be a good worker, as all I will do all day is wish I were at home.
Thanks.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Ashley - posted on 07/22/2010

10

50

0

Hello there. I also work in a school and will be going back mid-August. I have been having this overwhelming feeling of panic and sadness just thinking that I only have two more weeks off with him. My baby is a year old so I'm not going back from maternity leave, but since being off with him the whole summer I feel like I did when I went back from maternity leave. I can totally sympathize with you. I cried the night before and the whole way to work. It's VERY hard, I won't lie to you. I also felt that I did a horrible job at work in the beginning bc I didn't want to be there. My heart wasn't in it, and all I could think about was what he was doing or the "things I was missing out on". I found that it helped to take lots of pictures of him to work and sit them on my desk. Also, I have videos and pictures of him on my phone, so when I missed him I would watch those. I am lucky in that my mom keeps him, so she texts me throughout the day to let me know how he is doing. She also sends me pictures of him and videos of the cute things he does so I don't miss out as much. Do you have a family member keeping yours? That would be a big help if you do. Also, I can tell you that it DOES get easier. It's not that you miss him less and less, but that you just get more adjusted to it and you know it's something you have to do. I also try to tell myself that most other working moms aren't as lucky as I am to have the extra breaks off (summers, spring break, christmas break, thanksgiving break, fall break). At least I get that extra time with him that most moms don't. Just remember to take it day by day... and remember you are working to give your baby a better life! You are clothing, feeding, and providing for the most important person in your life. YOU are a GREAT mommy!!!!! : ) Best of wishes and luck on your first day back - and remember it's OK to cry! Let those tears flow.... it will only make it worse to hold it in!!!!

Marsha - posted on 07/20/2010

72

6

3

You're situation is almost the same as mine. I too work in a school. My daughter was born at the end of March and I too was off the summer. I did have to work for 4 short weeks (2-5day,2-4day) at the end of the year though. I was with my daughter almost every single minute of my time off as well. I missed her terribly while at school, and talked of her often with my co-workers and students (I work in special education so the students were interested in my pregnancy and daughter.) But I found that I needed some time to have adult interaction and socialization too. Not being with her 24/7 made her VERY excited to see me at the end of the school day. I was fortunate to find a friend of my co-worker(and good friend) who was interested in babysitting. She had a daughter who was 5 months older than my daughter and only had the 2 girls to care for. She was less than a mile from the school where I worked and was cheaper than the NACEY accredited day care center where we were on the waiting list (from 15 weeks pregnant until 15 months old). Start spending short breaks away now, prepare as much school work before hand so you can focus on her while you're home. Make and freeze some meals so that you can focus on her when arriving home too. Good luck!

[deleted account]

I know exactly how you feel , I am returning to work this monday for 10 hours a day , 5 days a week and I am absolutley dreading the thought of leaving my daughter , Sometimes I look at her and still cant believe she is mine and thats 8 months on ! You are certainly not alone in how your feeling , If you like I will keep you updated on how I go so you know ready for your return

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

25 Comments

View replies by

Gene - posted on 07/24/2010

13

2

0

I would suggest a home based business. My daughter and I are looking for people who are serious about working from home to join our team. No inventory. Not a scam. The company is almost 40 years old, has an A+ rating with the BBB and is traded on the New York Stock Exchange.
Take a look and see if this is something you might be interested in. www.greatworkplan.com/genegodwin

Laurel - posted on 07/23/2010

26

40

1

Colleen,

I understand how you feel! I just couldn't bring myself to work out of the home because I felt like nobody would love and care for my children the way I do. That is why I chose to work out of my home.
I help other moms earn a dependable and residual income without selling or investing, there is absolutely no risk involved. We have the BBB Hall of Fame, INC 500 Hall of Fame, and an amazing 25 year track-record of consitent growth. I'd be happy to share the opportunity with you if you are ever open to listening!

Laurel 224-628-4228
www.lovinlifeceo.com/laurelforsberg

Esme - posted on 07/23/2010

55

11

6

I went back to work when my son was 9 months old. It sucked to be honest. BUT , I knew he was in capable hands. That made all the difference and i started to enjoy adult conversations again and getting involved in my job again. If never enjoyable it does get easier.

Virginia - posted on 07/22/2010

32

15

0

I had an April 7th baby and went back to school as a teacher after the summer ended, so I feel your pain. I was still BFing, so I got to feel close to her by pumping at work twice a day and then rushing home to nurse after school. It sucks at first, but then you get into the swing of things as you develop a routine. Good luck to you!

Tanisha - posted on 07/22/2010

8

14

1

I know how you feel. I had my little one oct 2006 and was off until May. I was able to get her in daycare where I worked so I could go see her at lunch and break. I took daily pictures so I can look at them when I started missing her. Then my mom moved in for a while and I would just call her a talk to her on the phone. Now she is three and I still call her at home or daycare....lol. It does get easier when you know they are safe and well taken care of in your absence. But when I really miss her I save vacation and sick time so we can have a me and mama day.

Colleen - posted on 07/22/2010

12

14

0

Thank you everyone for the advice and encouragement. Luckily, my husband will be home with her for 4 of the 5 days, and an aunt will have her the other day. I'm thinking no mascara for the first few weeks of work!

Kristin - posted on 07/21/2010

2

27

0

I had my son April 14th and this is child #2. I thought it would be easier this time bit it's not. I must disagree with some who say start to separate yourself now- I think you should take advantage o every waking moment with them. It is going to be hard either way. I am getting back into the swing of things now but really miss them so much and hate to drop them each morning at daycare- on the flip side it makes my day each time I go to pick them up!!

Kelley - posted on 07/21/2010

2

13

0

I've done this transition three times already! It is going to be difficult for the first couple of days, but you will make it. I called home everytime that I got a free moment to check on them. It will be tough, but you'll get through it. Thankfully I had great people at work who totally understood what I was going through. Hopefully you have the same. Lots of pics help too!

Katie - posted on 07/20/2010

17

22

1

Katie Hampton is right. The look on their faces when you come home is great. At 3 months old, my daughter definately recognized when I came home from the road. It made me feel so good.

Katie - posted on 07/20/2010

265

5

21

My fiance watches our daughter and what helped for me was having him send me pictures/videos of her throughout the day. If your baby is in daycare this might not work but you could always call throughout the day to ask how your baby is doing with the change. I use to work 10 minutes from where I live so I could go home on lunch but now I work an hour away and some days its really hard to leave the house. Just keep thinking of the smile on her face when she sees you walk in the door after not seeing you the whole day. Its priceless :) I hope you both do good with this tough transition!

Katie - posted on 07/19/2010

17

22

1

It's important to trust your day care provider. If you can, try to begin taking her 1 or 2 days a week from here on out. It will give you time to remember what it's like to take care of yourself and do your own thing, plus you'll have a buffer zone incase there are any adjustment issues for the baby as well.
Let your provider know this is hard for you...they can be sympathetic. One of my providers sent me a pic over the phone on occasion, which was a pleasant surprise and brought a smile to my face. If it's close, try to make a date to swing by at lunch time, or during a prep hour, like twice a week.
I travelled out of state for work, so we used Skype and webcams to peek in on her at night.

I feel your dread and sympathize. I cried a lot at first. I don't think it goes away for a while, but you do learn to manage it. Just remember, you are doing it for her. You are setting a good example and providing for her by going back to work. Don't let it color the rest of your time together though...enjoy the day to day.

Catriona - posted on 07/17/2010

5

9

0

i know exactly how you feel, i am due back to work on 14th august. everytime i think of it, my heart breaks, i feel very down and physically sick. i dont want to leave my gorgeous 5 month old baby girl but unfortunately for financial reasons i have to return to work

Jessica - posted on 07/17/2010

10

47

0

this was my first week back to work after 12 weeks of leave. If I could handle 10 screaming kids I'd totally run a daycare!

Jill - posted on 07/17/2010

96

6

2

For me personally, It really helped to have adult conversations again at work. Don't get me wrong, its great to be with the kids but i think its just as important for you to have adult conversations. Looking back now, i see it was also important for my kids to have day care. I have had so many people tell me my 4 yr old seems mature for her age and i completely attribute that to day care where she learned to get along and speak to peers. There are still days that i wish i worked part time but i know that my kids are happy with the daycare arrangement and that's what's most important to me.

Melinda - posted on 07/16/2010

1

18

0

I know how you feel. I go back to work this monday! I will let you know how it goes.

Sugeiy - posted on 07/16/2010

5

8

0

Hello Colleen,

It was extremely difficult for me to return to work, however there were a couple of things that helped me during the transition. One and most important was to leave my baby with someone I trust. My baby started interacting with the nanny 2 weeks before I went back to work.

I don't know if you are breastfeeding, but pumping at work made me feel somehow connected to my baby and that helped a lot too.... it will not be easy to focus at work at the beginning, but TIME will help.... best wishes to you and your baby :)

Kerry - posted on 07/16/2010

21

3

2

I have been in your shoes and it does get better. Have you ever thought about ways to make money from home using your skills? Tutoring, home based business, etc?
I was looking for an opportunity to make some extra money -- Thirty-One Gifts was the opportunity I was looking for. I loved the philosophy behind the company and the people within it!
Thirty One Gifts offers a unique product line, ranging from purses and hand bags to stationary and personalized accessories. Thirty One products are outstanding, unique, and are very-high, if not the highest, quality. The Thirty One Gifts mission is to celebrate, encourage and reward, because of this we put all effort to ensure our products are cleverly designed, gift-able, affordable and of very high quality. Gifts from Thirty One will always bring a smile to the recipients face.
The best part is that I create my own hours. I can work as little or as much as I would like. The income possibilities are endless. There are also fantastic rewards and incentives with this company. The company is so new in the marketplace that no one has really heard of it and the consultants are not saturating the area. Our start- up fee is $99 and they have a promo now to earn $50 cash back!
Check out my website at http://www.mythirtyone.com/perkinson for more information and see the amazing Thirty-One products. Feel free to message me at any time :-)

Monica - posted on 07/16/2010

59

46

12

I had to go back to work after only 6 weeks maternity leave. Yes, it's going to be hard. Yes, you will probably cry. I kept some pictures of DS with me at all times to help me feel close to him. Mostly, though, it just took time. You will learn how to focus only on what is in front of you at that moment - so your baby does not interfere with work productivity and your work does not interfere with family time. Trust that the transition will be harder on you than it is on your little one. Although, sometimes, it can actually feel nice to be out in the world again.

Sharon - posted on 07/16/2010

66

7

9

I went back when my son was 6 months old the first few days I cried every time I left him, it does get easier my son is now 2 1/2 and we're both in a routine. However some days it's still difficult and I find going back after a weeks holiday is always hard. On the plus side after a few weeks at work my new mum brain had improved and I was actually talking in sentences again x

Terri - posted on 07/15/2010

8

13

0

i am quite luck as my partner works in the same place as me on shift patterns so we dont have to use day care, but a few weeks before starting back at work i would leave my partner and son for a couple of hours to get us all use to it. it has made the bond between father and son so much better. good luck with your return to work

Ashley - posted on 07/15/2010

863

2

155

Your right it will be hard at first but after a while it gets easier u get comfortable with your day care and im not sure why but the exity go's done took me 3 months to finally settle down and get used to working i also have a hour commute so i found a day care half way that helps.

Ntombi - posted on 07/15/2010

22

2

5

It is quite a problem to learn to wean yourself off your baby.As you are going to work only mid August try to not spend so much time with your baby. Try to spend half the time you spend with your baby now so that you can give away your power.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms