Mom feels like she's losing her mind

Francesca - posted on 04/30/2013

Get the help and find a good therapist that you can talk to. There is no shame in feeling the way you do. Life is filled with stress and challenges. don't give up keep trying new meds intill you find the right ones. Try meditation and changing your diet. You are not alone.

Amy - posted on 04/06/2012

Sam this post is pretty old you may want to open up a new one, you will probably get a better response.

Sam - posted on 04/06/2012

Hello I'm new to this group I have a 7 week old baby girl I have also been diagnosed with post natal depression I am on medication at the min but it doesn't seem to work with my horrible thoughts and all I think about is that I want to wake up of a morning feeling happy but I really am struggling some days it doesn't feel that I have a beautiful baby girl and it us horrible has anybody else felt like this x

Joy - posted on 06/22/2010

Hey Hannah!You're not alone.I've gone through the same thing and you might be surprised coz until now I'm still having nightmares about my son being hurt and I was unable to help and he's already 9 years old!I've been having the same sentiments as well regarding anti-depressant pills and I'm glad I came through your message coz I myself am needing some advices as well. Hope someone out there will help us figure this out.

Amiee - posted on 06/18/2010

First I'm sorry for what you are going through I know you would rather be enjoying time with your son but just because he is a year old dosen't mean it cant be PPD. You should go see your doctor and let him know how you are feeling and he could reccommend a good psychiatrist and you should go see them there may other things you can do besides meds you never know. Plus you deserve to be happy and I'm sure your family would rather have you happy as well.

Mary - posted on 06/17/2010

Make an appointment with a therapist in your area. They are usually connected with a psychiatrist but can help you to find other ways to deal with the depression/anxiety. And they can refer you to the doc if needed. I am a mom of a 6 and 3 year old and a clinical social worker. I have many adult female clients who are depressed/anxious and are not on meds. My 3 top recommendations are good nutrition, good sleep and 30 minutes of exercise a day ( a walk with the stolller in the park is perfect). Other possibilities are journaling, music, art...anything that relaxes you.
Since it started after the pregnancy, it can be PPD even though it has been a year. Untreat depression and anxiety does not go away.
Call the number on the back of your insurance card for the names of therapists that they accept. Or ask your PCP or OB if they would recommend anyone.

Alexandra - posted on 06/17/2010

Hi Hannah,
I hope you have been able to talk to a qualified doctor by now. Some people here have suggested you may have the "baby blues". This is a common occurence in women post-partum but it is something that is mostly related to a dramatic change in hormones very soon after birth. It also does not last too long if it is only the "baby blues". Also all mothers experience exhaustion, anxiety, sadness and some longing for their old life but NOT to the extent that it affects their life everyday and affects their relating to their child. If you are still experiencing these feelings of sadness, hopelessness and anxiety fairly consistently after 2 weeks then it is more serious than the blues or the normal ups and downs of being a new mom. By all means check with your family doctor to see if your birth control is causing some mood issues, but it is unusual for birth control to have such a severe effect as you describe. I do still recommend that you see a psychiatrist - not a psychologist or a counsellor. Post-partum depression is a biochemical disorder, meaning the chemicals in the organ of your brain are not responding correctly. If it is a serious enough case that cannot be fully solved with other treatments (talk therapy, better sleep, "you" time, excercise etc.) you will need medication. Anti-depressants are NOT addictive and once you no longer need them you can gradually wean off them (under a doctor's supervision). They will not make you happy or high, just allow you to feel hopeful and slightly more in control and decrease the crippling anxiety. Some women here have told stories of recovering from PPD without medication after 6 months. Depressions definitely can resolve themselves on their own but why would you ever put yourself and your baby through 6 months (or more) of upset and stress when you could start feeling better in as little as 3 weeks with a full compliment of treatments. It's not fair to you and especially not fair to your baby. Your depression will definitley affect your child and your ability to bond with them. Medication is safe and effective when given by a qualified doctor (i.e. a psychiatrist not a family doctor - they don't have the specialist training)
Please don't hesitate to contact me if you need to talk (or vent) more. : )

Vanessa - posted on 06/17/2010

Hope you are doing better. I think just being a mom sometimes makes you lose your mind. Not sure if there is a cure, but just hang in there. There's no guilt in taking a time out for you. I cry a lot. I pray a lot. The smile on my son's face keeps me going. Just do the best you can.

Allyn - posted on 06/16/2010

i say stop taking the med.. Look into herbal medicine like st. johns wort or several others. Exercise and change your diet. It works. the problem is that doctors now a days just give a pill out for anything.

Erika - posted on 06/16/2010

Welcome to being a mom! I have felt like that plenty of times. Take the day off, eat a huge pizza and don;t clean the house. A lot of times it is from trying to do so much you just get overwhemed. Take a breather, that is what I do!!!

Shayla - posted on 06/16/2010

OMG it is PPD. PPD can happen for a long time after you deliver so a year is not that long. I dont know if it could be the hormones in the Mirena, but please call your doctor. Its not you. I'm glad you reached out. Take care.

Amanda - posted on 06/16/2010

It might be best to talk to a doctor - they may be able to get a handle on why you are feeling like this a year after your son is born. I know you dont want drugs to be the first option, but there might be other alternatives to try, and if they dont' work, then you might have to try pills. I would look at it like this: you need to feel better to be a better mommy to your son. Thats what counts - is your son and being able to take care of him the best way you can. Good luck!

Stacey - posted on 06/16/2010

I have been where you are--TALK to a doctor--they may say TAKE this pill--but they may not..but either way--most docs KNOW how to treat these feelings...and if you do have to take meds--it wont be a forever type of thing...lots of meds can be started and then stopped after a while....JUST do not ignore your feelings, HON!!! and you did what most people have a hard time with and that is ASKING for advice--
peace to you...
stac

Melissa - posted on 06/16/2010

You don't have to go to a Psychiatrist, but go see a counselor/pyschOLOGIST who aren't able to prescribe drugs. I know exactly what you mean about not wanting drugs to help deal with the issues. You have to find the root cause. Also having a group of women who are going through the same thing can help to aleaviate the fears and the sadness. It takes a village isn't just a good book, it's the truth. Us women need soooo much support from other women and that in and of itself is therapy!

SarahJane - posted on 06/14/2010

As a mental health professional, I would recommend starting with your medical doctor. It could be an underlying medical condition. If your doctor recommends, then I would seek out a mental health professional.

Desiree - posted on 06/14/2010

well now that u took the step into talking to your doctor you should at least start feeling better about talking more. Don't forget thought that you can always use the meds last you can talk to a syc then if it don't work the meds are always there.
Well thanks for coming out with your feelings and shareing them with us. God bless and be strong that goes out to all of us single parents who are trying to make ends meet.

Ceejcee11 - posted on 06/14/2010

Dear New Mom, My name is Cindy and all of your feelings are quite normal. You should seek some counceling. I did. It doesn't mean your crazy. I raised four kids and know where your coming from. You need to sort out your feelings and when things get overwhelming, step away and collect yourself. I suffer from panic attacks and have to take medicine sometimes. I try to do my breathing techniques adviced by my psychlogist instead of taking meds. But sometimes it's unavoidable. We want so much to be such a good parent, but sometimes we need to reallize we are human and make some mistakes. Put it in gods hands and look up and give it to him. thats what keeps me sane. I was so afraid of even letting my kids go outside. Kids need to live a little and we can't shelter them all their lives. Good luck and keep in touch.

Cynthia - posted on 06/13/2010

Please go see your Dr that treated you during your pregnancy. It may just be a simple inbalance that can be correct very easily. It doesn't always take drugs to fix things like this. You can't wait to get this handled...it will only hurt you and your son in the long run if you don't get the depression handled now. I hope this helps.

Suzanne - posted on 06/13/2010

It took over a year for me to get diagnosed with PPD - I say see a Dr, find a support group and see a counsellor. Wish you all the best. Also with the pills - there is nothing wrong with taking them -- it's a medical condition that needs to be treated. Pills and counselling are a great combination. All the best

Desiree - posted on 06/13/2010

girl if anything you should see a doctor if you really feel like nothing can help. the thing is do your best at what you think will help and if it doesn't work out then you have no other choice. See a doctor and talk about the things you're feeling there's always a reson and Drugs should be the last thing on your mind and list. So tell the Doctor. Other then seeing the Docs, talking to others about these kinds of things isn't being selfish or griddy. It's part of being human you feel and want to reach out. It's just takes your judgment. It's good to talk!

Ollayah - posted on 06/12/2010

Sounds like you have the 'baby blues'...I had the similar symptoms as you around the same time (which was why I didnt think I had it, but my doc said mothers can have it anywhere from right after birth to 1 or 1 1/2 yrs after birth). They gave me anitdepressant pills- the other option was to speak to pshychiatrist (which I personally dont like counselors) so I chose the pills...but I didnt take them..I just had a real close friend that I talked to about everything and anything..that really helped for me.

Kathy - posted on 06/12/2010

You are brave for talking about this issue b/c not a lot of people do. Going to your doctor is a good step b/c then you can make an informed decision about the right course of treatment for youself.

I have been on lexapro for a number of years for anxiety. I would be a crying, freaked-out mess without it from all my worrying. The doctor switched me to zoloft for a while b/c I was breastfeeding, but I chose to go back to lexapro when I stopped. It has made a world of a difference!

My anxiety seems to get better at times and then get worse at times. After I had my little boy, it got worse for a while. I was also having bad dreams and even acting things out in my sleep. I was constantly worrying that my son was in danger and I would try to rescue him. I would actually be 'rescuing' my pillows in bed b/c I thought the pillows were him!

Good luck to you! Keep us posted.:)

Rebecca - posted on 06/12/2010

PPD can absolutely strike after a year, with no symptoms before. But, you seem to have been going through this for quite some time. My best friend didn't have any PPD until she stopped breast feeding and then it hit her. I had it with both of my children. It was worse with the first b/c I wasn't prepared. I didn't take any drugs. I did see and PPD therapist. It really helped to see someone who specializes in it. I made sure I got some "me" time, and I got help around the house. For me, that was the magic combo. The support, sleep and therapy did the trick. But, don't wait, seek help now.

Vicki - posted on 06/11/2010

Hi Hannah,
You have some great replies here. Perhaps write down those ideas you can best relate to, and take with you to your review with the doctor to discuss. Depending on the degree of your depression, sometimes removing the basic pathology of depressive symptoms first before commencing counselling is the way to go. Also be aware that there is no shortage of so called 'counsellors' who potentially do more harm than good, so choose a reputable and qualified one. Cheers!

Bridgette - posted on 06/11/2010

PPD last for a while so I have been told. My sister had it after her first child and she solved the problem with giving him to me for the first 6 years of his life.. I feel that you aren't going to do that so... It really could be the birth contorl method that you choose. I would start there first. You have your fie\rst child and of course you are worried about doing a good job and these dreams of him being hurt and you not able to get to him, it's normal. First child, you do this.. As far as the depression, I would start with the birth control cause birth control can cause depression. Good luck and congrads!!!

Suzette - posted on 06/11/2010

If this is your first baby, it could be an overwhelming feeling to have such a little one you are fully responsible for. And that could be the cause of this, but still i would go to your doctor and talk to them about how you are feeling. Working fulltime and having a baby can be stressful. I know i've been there, you don't get much sleep, and that wears you down. But still to be on the safe side, go to the doctor.

Desiree - posted on 06/11/2010

ok first of all ppd can come at anytime either during the infint stage of your child or alittle later. i'm not saying this cause i'm a doctor, but because i went through it to. See a doctor or a syc, but also try working out on your free time. don't stay cooped up in the house or make you self to bussy at work or else you'll be over wailmed. Take it slow day by day and deep breaths every time you feel the anxiety coming along. And reapet to your self i'm living life for my child he needs me and with out me theres nothing. make a goal or objective. But you should always ask for help being a single mother never feel that you shouldn't every one needs it now a days. Be happy take a tripe with you kid don't worry about the house for one day and just relax...

Raquel - posted on 06/11/2010

You can email me directly for a list of resources for women who are seeking to heal from PPD without medications. Remember, I'm not saying to avoid medications at all costs, just to explore other options first. Many of the other options will not work if you're on drugs. info@consciouswoman.org (www.consciouswoman.org).

Brittany - posted on 06/11/2010

I went through the same thing with my daughter. I had her in January and didnt get treated until early November. That was my biggest mistake, waiting so long to admit there was a real problem. I went to two diffeerent physicians and they both told me I had postpartum depression. Months later I went to a psychiatrist. Talking about it doesnt help, honestly it's only going to get better with medication. It's not like youll be on it forever. Set a time limit for how long you are willing to take medication and make it very well known you want to be on the lowest dosage possible. I promise it helps. I was terrified to have to be on "depression meds", but this is a different kind of depression and remember its not your fault. It's hard to swallow, but you need help and you arent the only one our there with problem its more popular than made out to be. Just do your research on the subject and medication. Just don't let i get to the point where you could hurt yourself or your child.

Michelle - posted on 06/11/2010

I felt a similar way after my first child.
Doctor put me on antidepressants... After my second child, and after some research, I decided to make some adjustments of my own.
I feel comfortable sharing this - get out of the house; regularly. Walks, talks with other adults, and excercise, excercise, excercise, even if it's just a walk around the block (20 min. ?) or even a gentle stretching... There is truth to the fact of serotonin, (hormonal chemicals) being released and generating a calm, more adaptable mood. Take whatever you need to - that's good for you - to sleep well. Sleep deprivation was a real sabotager. I take melatonin, but not all people can tolerate it. Eat well... basically, take care of you. A better/best YOU will help you - your child - all relationships and your perspective on life. You can do it! You are worth the effort and so is your child:) Don't give up, be patient with yourself. And, (I'll end here) learn from and about yourself. What do you need? What helps you most?

Byrd - posted on 06/11/2010

I agree that it's good to explore all options, but that means not ruling out medication as one of them. I also think that, of you do start taking a medication, you should definitely pursue therapy as part of the treatment, too, rather than solely taking meds. Both together are much more effective for the treatment of depression than meds on their own.

Raquel - posted on 06/11/2010

I also had severe PPD and PTSD. I not only got through it without the meds - through therapy, NSA, EMDR, diet, and Somatic Work - but I went on to THRIVE through the new awareness I gained. EXPLORE ALL OPTIONS!

Byrd - posted on 06/11/2010

Hi Hannah. You can definitely suffer from PPD for over a year after giving birth. As someone who knows a great deal on the subject of mental health and suffered from SEVERE PPD, I would say you must get to a doctor--preferably a mental health professional--and let him/her help you in the way he/she thinks is best. I can understand not being happy about the idea of medication, but when PPD is left untreated, it can become deadly. Like you, I had nightmares about horrible things happening to my baby, etc. I was treated with medication, which may or may not be the best option for you, and it saved my life. Try not to think of taking medication as a bad thing. If you're sick, you need medication, and mental health disturbances are illnesses just like any other. You don't have to take it forever. Whatever you do, I hope you will get help as soon as you're able. I wish you all the best.

Raquel - posted on 06/11/2010

Remember, there are many, many different ways of seeking help. Medication is not the only way, and don't let anyone convince you that you're doomed if you explore other options first. Keep an open mind! There is A LOT out there, if you just open your eyes and look around!

Angela - posted on 06/11/2010

Please seek help from a doctor. A family doctor will be just fine. My mother went mostly my whole childhood ignoring her symptoms of mental illness and had her first nervous break down when during my teen years. It was heart wrecking. She continues today to have problems. I have distant memories from when I was under the age of 7 of her doing mommy things with me. I have memories before then of her being a wonderful mom, but childhood was hell during the years she did not seek help. Yes, most likely they will prescribe you medication. Medication is okay and can be a good solution. I wish my mother had recieved help when she first realized something was wrong. She waited six years for the first medical intervention and it was too late. Mild to Moderate depression can be treated with medication. The medication does not have to be taken for your lifetime--just a period of time till you and your doctor agree that it is time to taper off the medicine.

Please (PLEASE) go talk to your doctor and be accepting of what he offers as a solution.

Just - posted on 06/11/2010

Hi Hannah,

I do take Lexapro not for PPD but anxiety and stress at work. The only effect is has is that I'm alot calmer and can focus on the work I have to do without going bolistic when someone asks me a question.

I only have a few months to go before the doctor takes me off them as they should only be short term process. Like someone else on here said it's like a diabetic taking insulin...I don't like the thought of taking a "chill pill" but it's seriously helping and I am grateful.

Forget the stigma of the old days...I'm glad you did begin talking about it...it makes you a better person to raise the issues you have and want to do something about them...My hat goes off to you.

Trust all goes well with you and your family

Julie

Raquel - posted on 06/11/2010

Vicki: You make a big assumption by saying that "most people are happy to take medicine prescribed for any other ailment in any other organ in their body." Most of the people I know explore other options before taking drugs for anything. Besides, there are some anti-depressants that permanently alter the neurology of the brain - and you can't just stop taking those drugs. Thinking twice about taking drugs for the brain - and exploring other options first - makes perfect sense to me!

Vicki - posted on 06/11/2010

Just on this.. why IS it that most people are happy to take medicine prescribed for any other ailment in any other organ in their body, but not for the brain?? To me it defies logic.

Raquel - posted on 06/10/2010

I had the same experience after my first. It was a horrible birth and it took me a long time to come to terms with it. I don't know what your experience was, but keep in mind that birth trauma and drugs during birth interfere with a delicate hormonal process, and in many women (certainly not all), depression and feelings of powerlessness can result. I recommend finding a therapist who can relate to your particular issues, and who will try things like Somatic Experiencing, EMDR and/or Emotional Freedom Techniques before trying to drug you up.

Sonya - posted on 06/10/2010

Hi Hanna. I hope you have met with your physician by now and although I am a little late on my reply I still would like to say that I understand how you feel. I had symptoms start, like yours, after another event in my life and although I too don't like medications, did take a medication for 1 year. I am now off and do not regret taking it at all. It helped me tremendously. I would like to forwarn you during the first week or 2 of taking it you may feel strange but this will pass! Remember, there is no reason you should continue to feel this way especially when there are medications to help. For me the natural things I tried first didn't work! I send you my best. As far as who to see after your primary doc, a counsellor should be a good place to start; less $$ and can still be very helpful.

Melissa - posted on 06/10/2010

Go to your Dr and see what he says, but you'll probably be referred to a psychiatrist/psychologist. If you see the psychologist they don't prescribe medication. Even after a year you can still be at risk for PPD but sometimes just talking to someone who's impartial can help tremendously without taking any medications. But this is NOT something that you want to ignore.

Angela - posted on 06/10/2010

I doubt that what you're experiencing is PPD, however it could be caused from exhaustion. Do you take time for yourself? Eat as well as you used to? Are you happy with the way your life is going, or did something happen that sent your "plan" off track? Birth control can cause havoc with your hormones and cause alot of those symptoms. It probably would not cause severe changes, but if you're already tired and overworked as Moms of toddlers are then it could be the straw that broke the camels back. I would suggest going to your doctor, telling them all your symptoms, but make it clear that you do not want anti-depressants. Ask if they can refer you to a counsellor if that is what you think will help you. First thing I would try is making 20 minutes for yourself every day, whether it be to have a bath, take a walk, read a book or whatever. Then I would change my birth control pills and see if that helps. Keep a diary of when you feel the most anxiety and record what is causing it, what you ate, what happened just before, anything you can think of. Possibly you can look back through it and find a trigger. Your hormones are completely different now that you've had a child and the key is to figure out who the new you is. Good luck!

Erica - posted on 06/10/2010

I would go see my personal physician before seeing a psych doc.

Tonya - posted on 06/10/2010

Hannah,

Sometimes it is ok to take a pill. It sounds like what you have going on is out of your control and is possible brought on by hormones and the unrealistic pressures we put on ourselves to be the perfect mother and wife. If you take medication to get you through this difficult time and it helps you focus on your child and helps you be more productive then your situation that is currently out of your control will get under control and you will not need the medication anymore. You sound like a very level-headed person and a very strong person and sometimes it is difficult to admit you may not be able to handle something like this on your own.

I suggest seeing a family physician, they have the resources to get you where you need to be. You admitting you are at the end of your rope says you need help asap and you are not alone, I think most moms have been there at some point but there is no need to suffer and no need to have your little one suffer either because even though you are providing and are there a child can pick up on depression and it does have an affect.

I wish you the best of luck and please know there is no shame. There is only shame in being responsible and taking control of your health.

Nancy - posted on 06/10/2010

I had exactly the same problem. I knew I was depressed, so figured I could deal with it, since I was aware of the problem. I was also against taking medication (although I know many who swear by it). For me it turned out to be a side effect from the DepoProvera shot. I found an online support group, found alternative birth control and the issues went away. Thinking it was post-partum depression for so long without seeing a doctor caused a lot of pain. There really could be another reason.

Brenda - posted on 06/10/2010

I have experienced bouts of depression over many years and the one thing you have to be aware of is "pill pushers"...they are at every hospital and ruling them out are very difficult. My advice to you is to do some research...get opinions about the professional you are going to see...look up the side effects...drowsiness being in my opinion the worst...we sometimes find it hard enough as is without that being added...but then you really have to try a medication to see if it works for you...and be sure to give it time....takes 4-6 wks for some meds...and never feel that you shouldn't ask for help...it's the only way you are going to get it....I wish you the best of luck...enjoy you baby!!!

Aleshia - posted on 06/10/2010

I went through the same thing after having my son who is 3 now and you shouldn't wait depression is very derious and can get out of control if you don't handle it right away. You could be suffering from post partum depression which is ver common. You should speak to your Doctor to see what other options besides medication you have. You end up taken it out on your family and that's not healthy for you or family. My advice talk to someone it helps!!

Lisa - posted on 06/09/2010

I highly admire you for speaking out and sharing your feelings, that takes alot of courage to do. Society has taught us to hide and suffer in silence for the sake of saving face....Visit your doctor and allow him or her to help you get your life back. Don't ever be ashamed to ask for help for yourself in any situation. If you should ever want to talk further I'm here for you, My calling in life is I'm a Live Coach and enjoy helping individuals out of tough spots. This is normal and there is plenty of help available. Be Free to be YOU,
Lisa

Shona - posted on 06/09/2010

I know how you feel, I had the same feelings right after having my daughter. All the doctors I talked to were trying to prescribe me something, but I'm just not a fan of medications at all and I've never been the kind of person to ask for help or discuss my feelings. I had the same kind of dreams and if I wasn't with her I would worry the whole time. I even had an anxiety attack once when she went to her grandmother's overnight. I stayed up the whole night thinking that something may be happening to her and I wouldn't be there to protect her.

I've heard that PPD could last a few years after giving birth so I wouldn't rule this out. You really should talk to your doctor about alternatives to medication. I was able to shake it after about 6 months without any meds.

Jenny - posted on 06/09/2010

Sounds like you need some YOU time!! having a kid is a seriously life altering event, especially if you no longer work, or have a limited social support system. Kids by nature are so very trying on your sanity especially in the areas of getting regular functional work done around the house, and forget about productivity with a little one tagging along!!!
I have 3 at home with me, I swear my vocabulary has shrunk, I've learnt to give up on the house looking pristine, its enough to get three meals and clean clothes! every day brings new challenges. But if it's possible to get some you time - get to the gym or some activity you enjoy, or part time work, there is not enough said about the value gained from actually getting recognized for your efforts (unfortunatley kids don't naturally get skilled at this, and too often partners also take it for granted) all a cocktail for losing your mind! Exercise really does help the happy hormones flow, also getting as good a sleep as possible. and get out to the park and meet some likelifed parents to share with. If that fails to bring relief then I might consider asking a doctor for advice.