mom working abroad and leave kids behind

Melanie - posted on 05/19/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )

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i am working abroad and leave my kids back home in my home country

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Amy - posted on 05/20/2012

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The feeling of abandonment, whether it's real or perceived it doesn't matter. My father started working away when I was 14. He came home every other weekend, our relationship suffered signifigantly. Since he was only home on weekends I still never saw him because I was busy with my friends and the stuff I had going on in my life.

My father missed out on school events and other important stuff. My father tried to parent but I didn't listen to him, afterall he was home 4 days a month. Kids don't understand at that age how their parents are making sacrifices for them. Now that I'm an adult and have kids of my own I understand but it took quite awhile to repair that relationship and there was a point that we stopped talking while I was in college.

I understand the financial part to your situation but I would be questioning how much I would be missing out on. I would also talk to my kids before I made such a big decision afterall they are going to be impacted by it.

Amy - posted on 05/19/2012

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Honestly I do think having both parents working abroad will have a negative effect on the kids. If it's a short term situation like Louise described it would be fine but I don't think long term would be a good idea. Do you make more money then your husband? Is it possible that he gives up his job, can you support the kids on your salary?

If it were me personally I wouldn't do it for more then 3 months, if it was going to be longer then that then I would be looking for something in the same country that my kids are in. Just out of curiosity who would be taking care of your kids if both your husband and you are in another country?

Melanie - posted on 05/19/2012

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do you think it has a negative effect on my children if this will become a long term plan (their age is 14,10 & 7) I want to provide a good life for them so I had to leave them but many of my friends says it's not only the material things that matters... give me some advice if I should give up my work and be with them?...my husband is also working abroad but his salary is not enough to support our family :-(

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Lucia - posted on 02/10/2013

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Hi Amy

Thank you so much for your input from a child's perspective. I am a single mother and have been working away from my kid for 1 year now and I feel that this year s the last one I am doing this. I watched an amazing and powerful sermon about the prize of relationships. This made me realize that whiles I feel this job I have will afford my child the best education and many other things money can buy but it's not enough to buy the time she should be spending with me.

I love my job but I love my child more. It's a hard reality but the same God who gave me this job will provide another.

Luba - posted on 05/28/2012

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For the kids to grow up well mannered they need to have the parental care of at least a single parent. Kids will not respect and listen all the directions that they are given by someone else who is not their parent. I think even though education is expensive where you are, if you think you can afford it its better you take them with you and bare with that expenses as long as you will be assured that you are raising your kids well for their future.

Lakota - posted on 05/25/2012

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If you and your husband are both working abroad, why can't you take your kids with you?

Melanie - posted on 05/23/2012

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is it enough to be on their side eventhough i cannot give or buy the things they need?

Melanie - posted on 05/20/2012

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my kids were being taking care of by my relative... I have decided to go back to them for good, but we have to have sacrifice a lot of things like food allowance, dining out etc. Do you think kids would mind that? We have to face the reality that being with them means limited budget :-(

Louise - posted on 05/19/2012

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That must be a terrible strain for you. Sometimes we have to do what we have to do to earn the money to maintain our families. I hope this is a short term thing and you are back with your children shortly.

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