Moms who work, whether at home or out of home

Cheri - posted on 01/30/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Is it just me, or do you find it EXTREMELY frustrating when someone you know is living off the system while continuing to have baby after baby after baby.

I know this person who started out having babies on the Welfare System. She has since had 4 more children while using it, makes NO effort to work, and says she's going to "school" but all her loans go toward trips and other things for the kids and none of the money she gets is ever reported to Department of Health and Human Services. I have explained what she's doing is WRONG and would report her myself, except she's out of state and I have no "physical" proof (which they will ask for something, like a bank statement, etc). I doubt she's lying to me, though, because she does NOT work and I don't see any other way she could possibly support 5 children by herself. She is stealing from us hard-working moms and dads (who pay her way through taxes), stealing from the community of people who really are in need and can't work for whatever reason, and she doesn't care.

Here is a breakdown of her "benefits":
Free housing (and it's a NICE home!)
Free utilities/heat
Some car repairs
Cash assistance
Food Stamps
Free Medical Insurance for herself and kids
Free Prescriptions for herself and kids
Discounted dental services for herself (Free when she's pregnant)
Free dental for the kids
Free school lunches/breakfasts for the kids
Daycare assistance
Free Preschool (Head Start)
Free toys for kids @ Christmas
Free supplies for kids @ school year start

I can't see any reason she'd ever WANT to work seeing as she's been getting these services for almost 8 years!

Knowing that she, and other people, are doing this, how do you feel knowing we have to leave our kids or work around our kids'schedules when they are getting everything handed to them on a silver platter, as well as the benefit of staying home and being with their children?

I know, for me, I am frustrated. I feel like I work my rear end off and we barely make ends meet at all, yet even if I applied, I would be just barely over any income guidlines and not qualify! I just don't know how that is right.

I feel like the welfare system is letting those who truly need it down by not enforcing some stricter rules. I have written to our state congress to see if they can implement a program where all individuals who qualify for welfare do community service as well as all qualified applicants should be able to pass drug tests as long as they need the program. I think these things would eliminate the # of people that would try to pull the wool over the eyes of the states.

What does our working community think?
Thanks!

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Alice - posted on 01/31/2011

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Cheri,
Yes. I totally 10000% agree with you.
My husband works crazy hours as a manager. I work at home full time as a online fitness coach plus do other things like sell jewelry, babysit, tutor, and sell extra produce. We scratch by growing our own fresh veggies, having chickens for eggs and a cow for milk because $100 feed/maintenance for the year = about 200 gallons of milk and 35 pounds of butter (waaaay cheaper than $5 a gallon for milk!) we spend less than $50 per person on food per month, spend less than $50 a year in clothes & shoes (I buy everything resale or get stuff hand-me-down), we never buy anything new except for food lol.
But, since we do have a mortgage and all of our monthly bills are due at the first of the month, we have more than $2000 in the bank at the beginning of the month (hey, we are trying to save for a more dependable car & maybe our first vacation) we don't qualify for anything... nada... zip.
I also know many people who brag (BRAG!!!) about how much food they have to Throw Out! because WIC gives them too much! I say, "please, don't waste it, give it to someone else to use" but of course, they won't share. They brag about free schooling and we are struggling with school loans. They get free housing (and yes, these are nice houses) and we are paying a mortgage. PLUS... we pay their bills!
Yes, I'm a bit irritated. Yes, we have 4 children, but we are also taking care of them ~ ourselves! Yes, it's a struggle, but what of it? Everyone has struggles and overcomes them... it builds character and shows our children that they have to work for what they want. For instance, my 7 year old wanted a puppy. When our dogs (yep, we have two truebreed farm dogs who have had a litter of pups once) had pups, Christina cleaned up after them, fed them, kept them watered, and as they got older, watched over them while they got exercise and taught them to come and sit for almost 11 weeks until all but one was given away. She worked very hard for her puppy and still, 6 months later, is very proud of her dog that she earned... and she tells everyone about working to get to keep her.
So, yes I'm irritated beyond measure (and when someone brags about it I say, "so, you steal my money so you can go drink, smoke, and party and expect me to be happy for you?" - usually they snort and go away) and I think we should have stricter laws so that people can't just live off hardworking taxpayers (better yet, abolish the IRS and welfare would dry up so quick).
I was actually told by a clerk when I inquired about the cost of dental care for my 7 year old that "if you divorced your husband you would get free medical and dental for you and your children, plus you could get housing aid and food stamps. We might be able to help you get a cell phone too" (I have no cell phone, budget says it's a luxury). I laughed, "you're kidding, right?" He sighed, "no, we really would like to help you and this is how we can." "So, I have to break up my home so I can get aid? bummer. Is this what you suggest to all married girls with kids? No wonder the divorce rate is so high." (I know, that's not why, but I was just infuriated that someone would tell me something like that).
Whatever. This is the world we live in. We have to make the most of it. Just remember, your kids are seeing the character, self-respect, and fulfillment that comes from hard work and making whatever you have seem like the best. Come on, at my church if someone comes in with a need it gets filled, right there, on the spot - but we also help that person with the root of the need (beating an addiction, getting a job, etc.) so that the cycle doesn't continue. That is what should be happening so maybe we just need more places that treat the problem instead of the symptoms and can the IRS and welfare so that those corrupt institutions no longer make the fat fatter and steal the bread from the worker's mouths.
*(I do know some people who need that help, but none who really need it actually get it; the system always finds some reason to screen them out... that's where good people step in and give out of what they have, and yep, we give to those who need it.)

Sara - posted on 01/31/2011

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wow .. I am not sure what to say. I do completely agree with you. I am a single mom (no child support) and I work 50-60hrs a week to NOT make ends meet ... my condo is about to be foreclosed on (i bought it before i had my son so i could afford the mortgage then but it is just out of the question now) and I don't quality for any assistance ... I apparently make way too much for a family of 2. Not really sure there is much anyone can do ... there are so many people out there that abuse the system. It is very sad for the ones that really do need the assistance (not even me but others who don't have a job that can't find a job or something) ... just sad.

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