My 9 yr old is a worrier!

Gail - posted on 07/27/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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my 9 yr old son is worried about everything, from the house catching fire, to his daddy going to work, to having a bladder infection (he had one once), to dying...he usually only brings this up at bedtime with me, and it's not a case of not wanting to go to bed, he had always been great about going to bed, i think he is genuinely worried...is this normal, is it a growth phase, should i be talking to our family doctor about this? i need some help with this!

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Teresa - posted on 08/01/2010

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Hi Gail, your son is really a senstive nine year old, and is anxiety is not that unusual at this age, he is very aware of the world around him and that sometimes things dont always make sense.

His anxiety seems to be linked to when he is going to bed as you know that is the time when most of us (children and adults) are alone and find them seleves thinking all kinds of thoughts....

As I said he sounds a sensitive little boy who is trying to make sense of the world around him, allow him to ask as many questions as he wants to, and find an appropriate answer that he can understand:

for example he said he was once worried about his Daddy going to work, explain that most Daddy's leave home to go to work and as they are grown up they know how to take care of themseleves and in most cases they will be ok but if he is really concerned we can phone daddy at work occasionaly to make sure he got there ok.... His anxietys will in the future grow less as he feels more secure about the adults being safe in his life but always take time to 'check' that he has a time when you can to sit and talk things through with him in away where he can tell you exactly what he is most concerned about..



If this becomes a daily issue where every night he seems anxious and concerned there are counsellors who can help you with your son to feel a little less insecure...

I hope this helps and good luck with your son he sounds a very bright and senstive little boy.

Julie - posted on 07/30/2010

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It could be a phase.
A lot of kids go through this
Try doing some sleepy time tea and toast at bedtime and take few minutes to make bed time a relaxing time do some yoga breaths and program good thoughts
Nine is an age when they start realizing they have a lack of control of their environment face it when they were babies they cried you answered..

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Iva - posted on 07/30/2010

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My soon-to-be-nine year old is a worrier, too. Her anxiety was severe and at the suggestion of her girl scout leader, I took her to a psychologist. She was diagnosed with GAD - Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Basically, where you and I might have concern over a looming thunderstorm, my daughter has extreme anxiety - all of the time.

We were able to learn some techniques to calm her down. Her anxiety is significant, but not severe enough, to warrant medicine. Her teachers at school as well as girl scout leaders and church leaders have been very patient with her.

Has your son always been like this or has it recently come on? If it's just a recent thing, I would say it's a phase. But if it interferes with his schooling or social skills, it might not hurt to have a talk with his doctor.

Good luck!

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