My boyfriend wouldn't want us working opposite shifts once our baby arrives

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

Growing up he was used to having both his parents home, at least on evenings and having dinner as a family. I on the other hand, only had my dad home when I came home from school and my Mother worked 2nd shift and didn't come home til 2AM. We'd have family time when both parents were off. Currently my boyfriend and I work 1st shift. I work 7-3, he 6:30-3. His job is a little farther away and it takes me a half hour to get home and him an hour or so. I will be soon going on maternity leave in 4 weeks and once I return to work in 12 weeks(which is without pay, btw vacations are gone) I plan on working 2nd shift, which is 3-11. I haven't told my boss yet of this. I'm considered one of their best workers and they may take it as if they're loosing me but really not. What I mean is I'm one of the fastest workers on 1st shift, there is another, but I'm more depended on. I work at a factory(machine operator) that deals with plastic injection molding. There's two machines that are fast and me and another co worker are the only ones to keep up with them since my boss don't bother putting someone else on and when they tried once and didn't like the results, they just kept me and the other co worker on it.



Anyway I plan on e-mailing my boss a few weeks ahead of time for my request to work 2nd shift once I return to work. I've talked this over with my boyfriend, and it hurts not only just him but myself as well since we won't be seeing each other as much. What I'm trying to do is budget with day care costs, trying to make it part time so we don't have to pay as much. Also I have an 8 year old son so that's double. I have been receiving day care assistance(subsidized, child care works program) for my son, but there's a chance my newborn will be put on the waiting list til funds are available and there's a chance there won't. If my newborn's on the waiting list I'd have to pay a lot of money for daycare til funds go through which could take months. It did for my son. That is the main worry have I continue to work 1st shift and have both kids full time. It's really part time for my son since he's in school, the bus from the daycare takes him, but he's considered full time since he stays at the day care during summer time when school's out.



So after a while I convinced my boyfriend enough, showing him articles of other parents' suggestions and how they're able to work things out even though it could take a toll on the relationship but we have to work as a team and not go broke. Also there's another issue at hand. He's been paying spousal support to his estranged wife whom he's filed divorce months ago and no action has been taken on her behalf yet, so there's another reason why we can't work the same shift and pay full time for the kids.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

3 Comments

View replies by

Aubree Del - posted on 11/02/2012

19

0

1

I think it's a smart idea for you guys to work opposite shifts for a few months. It only makes sense financially and in the long run. I wish you the best of luck!

Bonnie - posted on 11/02/2012

81

0

12

My husband and I work opposite shifts so we don't have to pay for daycare. It is not fun. It does take a toll on your relationship and on yourself. We both often feel like single parents as he is alone with them waking up/dressing/getting breakfast and I am alone during dinnertime/bathtime/bedtime. The bottom line is, you do what you have to do. I am sure your boyfriend will realize this after you have the baby. It is not about what he wants anymore it is just what has to happen. I have recently changed my work schedule a little so that my husband and I at least have weekends off together. This has helped our relationship and sanity greatly. You just have to be in the midset of getting through the work week to get to spend time together on the weekends. I am looking forward to when all my kids are in school we will try to start working similar hours. I also find that vacations together are also extremely important. We try to take at least one vacation per year (usually 2) together whether we go away or just stay home.

My mom was a SAHM when I was growing up and would LOVE to stay home with my babies. I don't understand how families can make it financially on 1 salary these days. Your boyfriend needs to rememebr that these are different times than when we grew up.

Katherine - posted on 09/09/2012

65,420

232

4849

Well IMO you have to do what you have to do to avoid daycare! It's so expensive. If you go that route you are almost paying to work. Plus if he's paying support.....you can't afford to be a SAHM.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms