my daughter is openning clip in the car seat please help

Iwona - posted on 01/19/2012 ( 28 moms have responded )

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please help, my daughter opens her car seat belt and then walk on the seats while i am driving. nothing helps, is t anything on the market to keep the car seat clip on. please help

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Kim - posted on 01/21/2012

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Let me tell you what worked for me. Perhaps a bit extreme, but this was NOT a battle I was willing to compromise on.

Our son (now 5), at age 15 months started pulling his arms out of the straps. The first time, I pulled the car carefully over and explained why that was dangerous (for him, me, and others). Told him it was not an option.

Next time he did it, I saw him in the rear view mirror and strategically planned a (safe) rather evasive and sudden "brake." It was as extreme as I could make it. Now, did his head get thrown forward? Yup. That was the point. All it took was a look from me like "I told you so." I didn't have to say a word. Guess what. It worked. NEVER had an issue since then.

He now is extremely conscious about being properly buckled up. He's even reminded me a couple of times to put on my belt! If we are in a hurry o get somewhere and I start pulling out of the garage (not realizing he hasn't actually buckled yet) he lets me know. I'm HAPPY to give him that extra 10 seconds. If I didn't, and told him to get it on while moving, I think it would negate one of my most successfully parenting battles. Lol!



One other suggestion: plan a trip to somewhere she likes to go. When she unbuckled, pull over. Tell her you can get back on the way when she gets back in her seat and buckles up. Not until then. Naturally, this won't work so well when you're on your way to somewhere she doesn't want to go. That's why I decided on the more extreme way.

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Ella - posted on 02/10/2012

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You dont mention the age of the child, if they're old enough to know right from wrong, turn the car around, go home, straight to the tub for a bath and then an early bed time......you should give them something to keep their hands busy, a book, toy....you can pull over to a safe place, say "NO" touch....danger!!! in a soft authoritative tone, no smiling at them and then go back to driving....if it continues, take them back home, say "sorry no happy meal today, you were not being safe today"......good luck....ella

Alfreda - posted on 02/07/2012

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I pulled the car over and refused to move until she put her seat belt back on. It was a quiet street, so I did a sudden stop. Explained that I cannot drive if you do not have your seat belt on because if I crash she will fly out the windshield. Then I turned on the radio and started to sing until she put her seat belt back on again. She cried for a long time before doing it, as she is very stubborn and hates giving in; but eventually she put it back on. Then I started to drive again. I did this the very first time she tried it, and she never did it again. Luckily we were not in a hurry to get somewhere, just on our way home from school.

Tammy - posted on 02/03/2012

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I'm extremely proud of you!! Way to go!! Sometimes things need extreme measure. Thats why they call it, "tough love". It's So Hard for us moms to use a hard teaching method, But it works the FIRST time!! And with a safety issue, thats what we need. Your doing great!! :-)

Mindy - posted on 02/02/2012

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the clip on my daughter's car seat is super hard to clasp shut and open. sometimes I have a hard time getting it to open and close. perhaps its the car seat...

Tanya - posted on 02/01/2012

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try to keep her entertain sing her a song with her or dance in the car or take some toys with you so she can play with them think of something interested that will keep her busy while your drivin in the car and talk to her to see what she tells you...

Katherine - posted on 02/01/2012

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All I can say is stop pull over and make it extremely clear of what can happen if she is not buckled. And dont move until she understands the dangers. If she does again pull over and repeat until she understands that mommy is not ging where until her little girl is safely buckled in her seat. I have not had this problem yet and I have 3 kids. my 7 month old is obviously buckled in along with my 9 and 5 year old. My 5 yr old is a button pusher and am shocked she has not tried this one yet.

good luck and dont give up.

I am blunt with my kids too. I tell my 5 year old who didnt understand why she had to be buckled up is that if we got in an accident with another car or object is she would go flying through our windshield an die. If you dont want to be roadkill then stay buckled up. They see roadkill all the time up here so they know why the animal became road kill.

Ceri - posted on 01/31/2012

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Way to go! Glad you have had sucess.... we just have to keep trying till we find a way to get through to our little ones. Way to take a stand!

Iwona - posted on 01/31/2012

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Ok good news girls . I am on the winning way , I think!

How did I do it?? Planned the place, and prayed she will take her seat belt off. Put the seat belt on ,and warned her if she will take it off i will take her out of the car and leave at home. I sat on my seat ready to go and looked in the mirror-she took a belt off. As promissed I left her in the front garden . Sat in th ecar ready to go. She cried, and was scared i will go without her. I was watching her with corner of my eye, I knew she cant go anywhere, so she was safe. And it worked! every time i put her to car seat I warn her if she will do it again I will leave her there. Good luck xx

Amanda - posted on 01/31/2012

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OMG SO YOUR LITTLE MUNKIE IS DOING THE SAME AS MY LITTE MONKEY... HA HA they are just too clever are'nt they... I too am concerned with the same thing... i have tried to literally hide and twist the actual clip in as far back even under the car chair as I can... sometimes it works but I think my baba's arms are also getting longer as there are times when he too can get them no matter how far I push. i'm trying my best to persist on this issue and make sure the seatbelt is in place at all times whenever we are driving... maybe practice will make perfect? wish us luck xxx

Tammy - posted on 01/26/2012

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Kim and I have the same parenting style. I go for the extreme break method also. I pick my battles with me kids, But some things just are Not to be compromised, and there safety is one of them! This not up for nagotiation! I am not going to waiste my time trying to make them happy here...?. They dont have to like it, they just Have to stay safe!!

Explain to them why they need to stay in their seats for safety reasons, but that is not going to do much help because they have trouble visualizing this concept.

The second time, I do just as Kim suggested, a planned break. The purpose of this method is to teach them and to SHOW them, just how easy an accident can happen. It reinforces your previous message about safety. Yes, you want to break hard enough to get there attention, if there standing up chances are they will fall, be prepared for this and DO NOT apologize when they cry afterwards. They are probably just fine, kids can take a lot of spills... they are probably more shook up then anything? Act as if you are scared, act as if it was the real thing!! Ask them if there ok? And then Tell them to get in there car seat and buckle up so that does not happen again!

MaryEllen - posted on 01/24/2012

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i have gone to the police station and had them explain to her, how important her safety is with a seat belt.

mine is much better now, but now and than i will just say do i have to call our police friend? and than she puts it on.

it sounds scary to them but in stead of me yelling, it does work this way.

Ceri - posted on 01/24/2012

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that is a pretty neat product but it's aftermarket. In the US all car seats come with chest clips. I saw the pictures. Do car seats in New Zealand really come with out them?? that is just scary! I am not sure where the original poster is in the US or not but it sounds like she has a clip. Anything that does not come with your car seat should not be added because it has not been safety tested. I hope they are not saying to take their clip off and replace it.... I guess if I didn't have a clip that would be appealing but as they come with them here that wouldn't be necessary.

Ceri - posted on 01/24/2012

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Yea! (Sorry that she hid under her blanket) :( But we must be vigilant about car seat safety. And in a brutal way, we as parents can be punished for our kids that do not practice proper car seat safety. I remember as a kid when the seat belt laws started to come in to effect my dad told us (we were around 10 I think) if he got pulled over for us not wearing our seat belt and he got a ticket he would take that out of our hide! Kudos to you for sticking to your rule keep up the hard work. (Being a parent is HARD some days I tell you!)

Joy - posted on 01/23/2012

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Or the 'if you don't wear the seatbelt, they will take you away from me' scare tactic worked out great this afternoon. Of course, she also hid herself under the blanket most of the car trip.

Joy - posted on 01/23/2012

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In my case there may also be being too familiar with police/fire fighters. We have close relatives in those professions so I don't know how serious she would take a stern talk by a police/firefighter.



However, the idea to roleplay with dolls might work. Her hero, Dora, also stresses it in some episodes so I'll try stressing it that way. Our big problem right now is that she will take her arms out of the straps when she doesn't want to go. As I won't drive until everyone's buckled in, she gets her 'way' that way. I also pull over as soon as I can if I see in the rearview mirror that she's gotten out of the straps.

Ceri - posted on 01/23/2012

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My son was pretty into fire trucks and police cars at that age. You might be surprised about what kids pick up. Even just having a police officer/fire fighter tell your child “always stay in your car seat buckled up, till the driver comes to open your door and let you out” may work. (Then you remind your child Remember officer ____ said, “You need to stay buckled in your car seat”) I think the most important thing is talking to your kids about safety. We have never had our son (Now 4) wear his heavy coat in the car as that is not safe and a blanket keeps him just as warm as a coat will. Now he WON’T even wear a sweat shirt in the car. He also tells us we forgot to buckle him (It's happened maybe twice?) SCREAMED at us “I need to be safe”! My husband does not let him hold his toys while we buckle him in. (It has always been my hubbies view he shouldn’t have to struggle with toys while buckling him in) He has always told him put the toy down, you need to be safe. Therefore, from an age where he has been old enough to hold/want a toy in the car seat when we buckled him in he put the toy down, and talked about him being safe. I do not mean this in a way that comes off, as anyone in this type of situation is a parent that does not care about car seat safety at all, as I do not know any parent here or see how you are in your car. However, kids do learn by example. Do you as a parent always wear your seat belt? Do you talk about being safe in the car? (Not implied to any certain person just questions to ask one’s self in this type of situation) Maybe talk about why your child needs to stay in a car seat and be buckled. What can happen in a crash? Kids are smarter than people give them credit for. If you think your child is too young to talk to use toy cars or boxes with dolls with no car seat and roll play a crash Show them how the baby doll/toy flies out of the car with no seat belt and gets hurt. If you have an extra car seat put it in your car and buckle a baby doll or stuffed animal in. Let your child do that. Then use the doll/toy as an example of being good and staying in their seat. Then Praise and reward the doll/toy for safe behavior. Kids want to please their parents your child may soon follow suit.

Joy - posted on 01/23/2012

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I don't know about Iwona's daughter, but mine's not quite 2 1/2 years old yet. I don't think a talk with police or fireman will help my daughter because she's too young to understand. Maybe in a year? Of course, in a year she'll probably be in a booster seat instead of a car seat.

Ceri - posted on 01/23/2012

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Not that I have much advise, but I would not recommend adding anything aftermarket as it's not approved and tested for your car seat. Perhaps you can take her to the fire house, or police station and have a police or fireman talk to her about it? That it's the law and mommy can get a ticket? That just would NOT fly at our house. We would be turning around and going RIGHT back home for a time out. That would be TOP punishment. How old is she? good luck!

Michelle - posted on 01/22/2012

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How old? Old enough for consequences? I would set consequence every time it occurred and stick to it. Be it a time out, loss of a favorite toy for a week whatever might work. And ratchet it up each time. If consistent walking on seats should not be as compelling.

Elsa - posted on 01/22/2012

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The first and only time my son did it he was about 2 and I was so scared since I was on the highway I YELLED at him and I think I scared him more that he has never done it again.

Joy - posted on 01/21/2012

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My daughter's getting her arms out of the straps too! As soon as she figures out how she'll also be unbuckling herself. Thanks for posting, Iwona!

Iwona - posted on 01/21/2012

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Kim



Thank you so much, I tried so many tricks didnt work so I think I will try your method.



Thank you very much

Iwona - posted on 01/20/2012

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Thank you Andrea



Yes this will be my next step. I tried everything : treats, stickers for being good, distractions,singing, etc etc etc... even put her on grown ups booster seat ......... OMG it was like walking on the moon ..... 80 m/h on motorway!

Anyway ,Thanks Andrea

Andrea - posted on 01/19/2012

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I tired to search for something that would help, but found nothing that would prevent a clip from unlocking. Have you tried putting something over it? maybe if she doesn't see it she won't try to open it? sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

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