My fiance and his visiting

Ashly - posted on 11/06/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

12

0

0

My fiance has a 7 year old son with his ex girlfriend and he goes and picks him up and drops his son off when he actually gets him, and it bothers me cause my fiance an i agreed that i would got with him for pick up and drop off because she slapped him before and the agreement happened for a little while but lately he's been going to pick up his son randomly like i dont even know we have him and he goes by himself, when im at work should i be worried? or am i overreacting?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Gina - posted on 11/13/2012

23

0

0

it kind of sounds as if you do not trust him with her? She isnt going anywhere so the more you get use to that the better you will be. Now if she is "hitting" him then they should meet in public not necessarily with you. My boyfriends ex made a false accusation to the police and they meet in public with cameras so she cant do that again. good luck and calm down.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

9 Comments

View replies by

Leanne - posted on 12/19/2012

17

0

3

i am in both positions I am a mother so I have to deal with my ex for my son usually pick up and drop off are done just between us but neither of us have a problem with either of our significant others being there BUT his gf he has now has a problem with me and him being alone together which is annoying because me and my ex have come along way since we split we used to hate eachother and make each others life difficult now that we get along fairly well she has a problem with it which makes things difficult ... on the other hand my bf has kids with his ex and he drops off and picks up his kids usually by himself but I can go along at any time his ex loves me we get along so I have no worries about them being alone together they have gone to dr appointments for kids together I expect them to for something important but if my ex came with me for something like that his gf would flip out I think its mainly because she doesn't trust him he cheated on me with her so she knows how easily it can be done so if you trust your man you have no worries

Kiara - posted on 12/12/2012

67

17

0

Stay out of it. You aren't going to make the situation any better by being there every time. He's not working with your schedule probably because it seems to be random when he gets to pick his son up. If you are having trust issues, maybe its more about you and him not him and his ex.

Mommy - posted on 11/15/2012

328

18

2

Yeah, and I don't mean to sound judgmental, bc I was very insecure at first with my husband and his ex and all the texts she insists on sending him. But I had to learn to let it go and realize she is his Ex, and I am his wife, and I need to trust him.

Ashly - posted on 11/15/2012

12

0

0

thanks lol its good to hear these cause i need help sometimes this is my first time with a blended family and i want to protect it and sometimes i get a little ralled up lolz thanks to everyone

Ashly - posted on 11/15/2012

12

0

0

very true i think i do it cause he does it and i guess im alittle insecure ill admit it haha

Mommy - posted on 11/13/2012

328

18

2

It sounds like you are a little insecure about his relationship with his ex. Actually, if he insists on going with you, I would have to say the same thing for him.

My husband has a daughter from a prior marriage, and as much as a can't stand that he has to interact with that troll of a woman (see how highly I think of her lol) there is no reason for me to escort him there. I know he can handle himself if she starts fighting with him (which she does almost all the time) and I trust he is making the best decisions and thinking about myself and our children.

Now, I will tell you that I have made some "requests" I expect my husband to honor, which is no going in the house and hanging out. Not that I have any concern about him being around her, but I feel it is inappropriate, and he agrees. You have to realize he is going to interact with her for the next 11 years or so, so there will be many times when he sees her without you being there.

Ashly - posted on 11/08/2012

12

0

0

ok i understand that and thats what frusterates me to is that he wanted the same thing with my ex as well to be there.

[deleted account]

From your post, it sounds like you are overreacting. Your fiance doesn't need you to protect him in case his ex smacks him. He's a grown man, and you do not need to stand up for him, he can stand up for himself. In fact, having you along may actually increase the drama. It is his son, and his ex, there really is no need for you to be there, so I would leave it alone.



That said, if it bothers you that you had an agreement that you would both go, and he started to pick the kid up alone without talking to you about it, you could bring it up. Just say something along the lines of "I thought we agreed we'd both go to pick up Son, and I notice you are going without me lately. Is everything okay?" Listen to his answer, and try not to oppose him--remember, no reason for you to go along anyway--but let him know that he can (and should have) let you know that he wanted to change the arrangement.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms