My son his having behavior and anger managment issues

Donyelle - posted on 03/24/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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He is expressing his feelings alot in school and now by fighting, bad language and not respecting the teachers and now its affecting his school work because he spend most of his time in timeout, the principals office etc. I have done everything spankings which I don't like to do, take away basketball which he loves, no tv and video games. Next step find a big brother and some counseling...

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Pip - posted on 10/02/2013

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Hi Donyelle, I agree with Monica. My son was crying and angry all the the time about everything. I had to spend a lot of time talking to him and getting him to open up and tell me why he's been so upset. And I did a lot praising when I noticed he did good things and behaved. I gave him lots of hugs and kisses and told him that mummy and daddy love you so much and that if there is anything he wanted to talk to us about. We are here to listen. He is now turning 7 and he is such a good boy. He talks to us about everything that goes on at school now and is just so much happier. You just have to be very patient. And very calm. If you react they will react. I found that being angry yourself makes the situation worse. Hope things are better for you now. :))

[deleted account]

Hi Donyelle....

I'm not sure how old your son is and I'm sorry to hear you are having this problem.

I think if I were dealing with this situation I would start by getting to the root of his anger...unless of course you already know what is angering him but don't want that to be public... If you are a working mom then I might try asking him if he feels like he's not getting enough of your time and attention and maybe that's why he is taking anger out on others because maybe he doesn't know how to look to you for help. I also don't agree with spankings and hitting but while I DO agree with you taking things away there has to be a full understanding between you and him about a reward system. A reward system that is visible....maybe a chart that the two of you make together and post somewhere in the house and let his teachers know you are doing this also. The reward could be "at the end of the week if he has no offenses, the reward is a night out for ice cream, maybe a visit to an arcade, have a friend over for a sleepover, you and him bake cookies together, or he gets something back that was previously taken away". I think that kids deserve to know what is going on and there is a difference between "I'm taking this away because you were bad" and "i'm taking this away because you were bad and if you can work on behaving better for the next few days we'll talk about it and decide if you have earned this back." Does that make sense? Well, I hope things get better and you find out just what's causing his anger.

Kayla - posted on 03/24/2009

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my son is only one and i feel your pain. i have no idea what to do either, but i feel that maybe trying to spend more time focusing on him and only him for specific blocks of time could curb it. ive been doing that with my son and i see a huge difference in his behavior when i do. talk to him about why he may be so upset, let him know that it is natural to express his feelings and emotions, but he needs to do them with words and not physically....and maybe when he gets upset you should throw him the basketball and tell him to go outside and blow off some steam, that way he has a productive way of venting his emotions if he dosent want to talk about them. it worked for my sons father......

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