my son is 4 years old, very kind nature, hits his 1.6 year old sis. need to know how to handle him?

Nadine - posted on 07/05/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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he is sentimental, she is very "center of attracion" kind, both are very smart, I AM VERY NERVOUS. sometimes can't control my temper. we all know he is JEALOUS, i need to know the best way to deal with this, apart from explaining (happened million times), how to remember "anger management" too. I NEED TIPS HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!

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Amanda - posted on 07/07/2009

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Try the 1,2,3 Magic Book---best thing to work with any type of unwanted behavior. As long as you are consistent it really works!

Karen - posted on 07/07/2009

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all kids are the meanist with siblings. when my girls hit I act fast. I seperate them first. then I put one or both in time out. Being firm but not yelling does the trick usually. then when they calm down they have to say sorry and give eachother a kiss. If it is only the older one hitting it is important for him to see you comfort the little one even if he's jealous because the more you do it the more that behavoir is reinforced. it is okay to give him a hug atfer he makes up with sis. If you are consistant this takes less time each fight. now my girls start saying I'm sorry before I put them on the couch. but i still make them sit for a couple mins. Also alot of times when my kids hit it is because someting is wrong like they're hungry or tired or even just bored. try asking him if he's hungry. Hope this helps.

Carol - posted on 07/07/2009

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My son used to do this to his sister. I think you are right in your assumption it is jealousy, he has been the centre of your attentions and all of a sudden he has to share them and his way of telling you that at his young age is by making himself the centre of attention again by bashing his little sister because in doing so it is going to get 100 per cent of your attention. You have to remember you are the adult here and you need to lead by example and he needs to see that you can calmy but firmly tell him not to do that and how in doing it he is hurting his little sister and that makes mummy unhappy. You have to have some kind of time out whereby if he does hit her then you must say if you are going to hit her then you are going to have time out on the bottom step of the stairs for five minutes, or on a chair, he will then associate that in doing so it creates a negative result. Whilst he is on time out don't speak or interact with him, if he moves from where you put him you put him back and you say if you choose to move again you will sit there for more time. Also encourage him to do things for the little one, like helping you with feeding, changing the nappy, dressing, by helping you he will feel important and get lots of attention and praise for helping you with the little one. Just really bring out the positives but when he is hitting then also make sure the negatives are also understood and he will soon get the hang of it as you say kids are smart and they learn quicker than we realise.

Tracy - posted on 07/07/2009

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Check out the website www.disciplinemommy.com. Best $8 i have ever spent, totally works!

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