my son will be three on sunday and will NOT potty train. any ideas

Loni - posted on 07/24/2009 ( 38 moms have responded )

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when we sit him on the toilet he just balls, and when he stands in front of it he crosses his legs and balls. i just dont know what to do to reassure him that he is ok, and he can do it.

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[deleted account]

I am glad to see that there are other parents who realize that you have to go with the flow and wait until they are ready.

[deleted account]

I think people believe that kids have to be potty trained at a certain time. Yes I was one of those parents who did that. My daughter was 2 and a half and fully potty trained. She did well then regressed before she was fully potty trained. When I didn't push her to go and got all excited when I had to go, then she wanted to go. When I said ohh, this is so much fun, I don't know, you may be too little to have this much fun, she wanted to go even more. That worked for me.

Valerie - posted on 08/06/2009

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He is not ready yet! Give him more time and try again. My son was the same way. Now what I am going to tell you will convince all of you moms that this woman (me) is crazy. So here goes it. We have the luxury of living in a more rural area and when my son was 3-1/2 he still had no interest. So we allowed him to pee on a tree, (in our back yard) kind of like camping. Once he got the idea we explained that if we were away from home he had to use a toilet. I swear, it only took about two days. Call us crazy, but it worked. Thank goodness our daughter was easy.

Rachel - posted on 08/05/2009

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my daughter was really strange at potty trainning she would wee but would not poo and would poo any were else, i spoke to my midwife who advised try putting a nappy in the potty she he can get used to sitting and dont get mad always be positive, pleant of praise and rewards for doing well, once my little one had got used 2 it within weeks she was completly out of nappies and altho she had a few accidents at night maybe once every few weeks i never tell her off and it saves loads in money - hope this helps x

Adriana - posted on 08/05/2009

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my son had been going thru the motions for a while but would'nt really comit to acctualy doing it on the potty. one night befor bed instead of putting on a diper we told him we were all out and he was going to have to be a big boy and use the potty. he went to bed in traing pants and never wore a diper again.

Caroline - posted on 08/05/2009

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Don't worry about it, my son was 3 & 3 months with no desire at all. As a result I put him in pants and he stood up to pee and never used a potty - at 3 he saw himself as a big boy and the potty was for babies. His nursery were great and agreed with the whole thing so it took a week - number two's were a little more difficult!

Monique - posted on 08/05/2009

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I rewarded my son with a Hot Wheels car every time he produced something on the potty, for a while; then, I began to space out the rewards. He loved earning the prizes. It took a while before he used the potty all the time, but we eventually got there. For my son, he wasn't completely potty trained until just before his fourth birthday. Some simply train later than others, I think, but the incentives did help. Good luck!

Quicana - posted on 08/04/2009

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you could do a silly song and dance.. or when your home dont put a diaper on him.. see how he feels about wetting his self.. or no seruirty of a diaper

Biza - posted on 08/04/2009

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Let the daycare do it! Mine is doing a great job and Nicholas isn't two until Aug. 26. She just started to do it, then I told her great, more work to do . Then on top of that we started feeding the baby, baby food. Anyway at first nick would go for her two, three times a day. I got him home and he would say no to me, but now I try really hard to keep on it and its progressing.

Pauline - posted on 08/01/2009

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Maybe find another boy who is a little older than him to watch in the bathroom, or his dad may be able to show him. My boys did not potty train until after 3 years old, and when they finally did it, it was day and night, not the thing with underwear in the daytime and diapers at night. Also let him pick out his own big boy underpants. We also used cherrios in the toilet and told the boys to sink them. Bribery works, we bought our youngest a "Big Woody" doll from the Toy Story movie. He walked around telling everyone he had a "big woody," and I was horrified. My sons are now 17 and 14, and diapers are long forgotten. Don't worry, he won't start kindergarten in diapers, even if it looks like it now.

Louise - posted on 08/01/2009

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Don't worry about it......... I have two boys and two girls and I've found that boys are lazy in the toilet training department, mine were at nursery before they realized that wearing diapers just isn't cool at school..........

Beth - posted on 07/31/2009

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I didn't start potty training my son until after he was 3, b/c I've heard boys are just not as easy as girls. He did fine once he was ready, but he's 4 and a half now and still has accidents, b/c he doesn't want to quit playing, and he is still in a pull-up when he sleeps. My doctor said there is not much you can do about that, except limit their drinks, and it will happen when it happens, but I know it's hard not to worry. I try not to listen to what everyone else's child is doing, b/c I only need to focus on mine, and every child is different. It's like my mom says, "You don't see any grown-ups not potty trained or walking around with a bottle or a passy." He will get it in time!

Heather - posted on 07/31/2009

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I had my son sit backwards on the toilet like he was straddling a horse. This tips the pee pee down and it won't spray everywhere. Potty training wise, I followed the book Potty Training in a day. It was written in the 70's and it is nothing more then classic conditioning. It totally worked! (Poop took two days) I wanted to give up by his nap but after nap, it just started clicking.

Joni - posted on 07/31/2009

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I have a stubborn, independent little one who knows she is in control of the potty training situation...I have given up with the bribes, the taking away of toys and everything else...because it caused her to regress, and she wouldn't care that she didn't have the items. Now that I have acted like I don't care either way, she is going on here own here and there...asking to wear panties, and other good potty habits. She would actually go all day at daycare for her teacher and not for us...so she could tell we were frustrated...and she has all the control, so there is no use in letting it get to you.



If you child cries when being put on the potty they are not ready...he will have a negative association with going potty and will not want to sit on the toilet, no matter what the size. You can end up making it a traumatic situation for him, so you really have to be careful...this is a huge emotional step for a child, and of they are not ready emotionally...they are not ready.



Also...you cannot compare any 2 children, even if they are siblings. Everyone wants a set of rules, and unfortunately there aren't any...I guess you can say that they don't come with an instruction manual...not that it would help...LOL.

Amber - posted on 07/30/2009

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My son is now 11 years old and I had a hard time with potty training him also. A trick I used was putting fruit loops in the tolitte and having him aim at them. I made it into a game with him and it seemed to work. Also they sell good potty training videos that you can use. At the time I used Bear in the Big Blue House.

Laura - posted on 07/30/2009

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Most of my friends were able to potty train their kids after 3. I started potty training my oldest when she was 2 and she didn't get it until she was 3. I would set up his favorite books and toys in the bathroom to make it more fun. Someone once told me that you can take away his most favorite toy and allow him to play with it only while sitting on the toilet. Don't stress though and give him big praises. They love that. Good luck!

Tracy - posted on 07/30/2009

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When I started potty trainning my son he just turned 1 and I bought him a lil potty that would make real toilet sounds,He enjoyed it very much,he actually had more fun playing with it then going on it. Then about a week or so after he ask to go on the toilet and since then he's been going on the big potty...I still remember the time he went on it it was 10:00 pm, I was really happy and exited and gave him a big hug and told him he was a big boy ..Now he's going to be 4 years old ...that was my way of potty training but not all kids are ready at the same time...

[deleted account]

make going to the potting a game for him you can buy targets he can shoot at or ect you have to let them learn at their own pace and praise them when they try for you . good luck it will come in time

Louise - posted on 07/29/2009

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they say boys take longer to potty train and to just leave them and they will get it thats all i did and he leant fast

Mary Kay - posted on 07/29/2009

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Both of my kids were not potty trained at age 3 and both decided in different ways. My son decided that big brothers don't wear diapers when my daughter was born-he was almost 3 and a half. And that was that. My daughter was over 3 as well....I tried all kinds of suggestions and things with her and it just didn't work. Finally, every morning I would ask her if she wanted a diaper or big girl pants and after a period of time-don't remember how long, she just chose big girl pants one morning and that was it. No problems. I have very independent, strong willed children, so I needed to let them do it on their terms, power struggles do not work in our house! My suggestion is not to worry about it....the kids' preschool teacher who was in her early 60's told me not to worry, she didn't know any kindergarteners that weren't potty trained....they do it in their own time.

Niama - posted on 07/29/2009

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This is always a tough one for any parent. Just be patient every child has their own time frame....my daughter did not do it until 3. Yvonne is absolutley right get videos with real children on them using the potty put the potty in the bathroom and have him go whenever dad goes so that he sees what he should be doing and yes make a big deal every time there is success. It will happen don't give up.

Stacey - posted on 07/29/2009

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Children potty train when they are ready...don't force the issue. I have two children 1 son and 1 daughter. My son trained at 3 1/2 and my daughter at 18 months - go figure. I found the more I pushed my son the more he pushed away. One day I just turned around and he asked to go potty and that was the end of that.

Carla Sue - posted on 07/29/2009

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there is a dvd of Elmo and the Cookie Monster talking about going to the potty. Find it and let him watch it. It is hilarious.

Tiffany - posted on 07/29/2009

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My three year old is the same way. We gave up trying. Thats when he started doing it my him self. Don't worried , when he is ready he'll do it by himself. Remember that is the ONE THING they can control.

Charm - posted on 07/29/2009

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I bribed my kids. My daughter likes jelly beans and M&Ms, so she would get 2-3 M&Ms if she went potty. My son likes cars so he would get a dollar store car if he went. Stickers work too! After a short while only give rewards every other time, then keep cutting back. I have heard that it takes 3 weeks to develop a good habit or break a bad one. Good luck!

Tina - posted on 07/29/2009

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Let it be! My Mom told me not worry it will just happen on it's own and it did for me. I also used to put cherios in the toilet and make it a game. I told him to aim for them.

[deleted account]

With my 3 yr old! I put ceral in the toilet and asked if he could hit it with his pee. I know it sounds gross, but it work. We made a game of it. I also had a bathroom (potty) chart next to it with his favorite sticker and a treat for afterwards. Then if he filled the chart we went to all a dollar. Seems like a lot, but it work for us. Good Luck! ! !

Corrine - posted on 07/29/2009

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Mine didn't like the idea of actually sitting on the toilet so I had his father take him in and show him how the "big boys" go and he was potty trained after that without any issues. I also gave him the choice of the toilet or the potty chair for the "other". I didn't realize what the problem was before that. I knew that physically he was ready, because for the last six months before I started trying to potty train him he woke up every morning with a dry diaper but I took all the training underwear away as well as put up the potty chair for about six months and never mentioned it. I also waited until he was almost 3 before I started.

Leslie - posted on 07/28/2009

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I learned not to stress over it. We made a game out of it and sang this song, lol "pee pee on the pot-ay" LMAO Anyway, we just made everything fun. My son was close to 3 before he was potty trained. Using those pull ups was never an option, I felt they just increased their inability to want to use the potty. My dd took much longer because she was stubborn. It was the same with pacifiers. I didn't worry about it. But did bribe my son and it worked well. My dd never used one.

Carolyn - posted on 07/28/2009

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Well, as freaky as it sounds took him to the bath and sat him where I could see him and he could see me without seeing my private parts. This was comforting. We sang songs and I ran water while we were in there and would always take him 45 minutes after drinking and would sit there for 15-30 minutes. He learned to pee first and then BM followed after. Showed him that it was OK and not scarey seemed to work.

Leigh - posted on 07/27/2009

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You have gotten some great advice! My son also did not figure out the potty thing until after age 3. I remember being quite anxious at the time...but I am happy to report that it "clicked" a few months after his 3rd birthday, and he has been using the toilet ever since. Be patient, he'll get there!

Dawn - posted on 07/27/2009

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Sounds ;ike he is just not quite ready. I let my son put cherios in the toilet and try to pee on them. It was a fun "game" to try and sink them. Also I am a firm beliver in putting regular or "big kids" underwear on them. That way they assosiate that if they pee it makes them wet. I tryed pullups for momths and it only took abot a week with underwear, Good luck!

[deleted account]

I have 3 boys and they definitely were all hard to potty train. I totally agree with their own potty chair. We first put it in the bathroom and didn't make a big deal about the potty chair, so they got used to it. Does it say why he starts crying? Maybe he could tell you why he is crying. There are alot of children books to reinforce potty training also. I also put a few fruit loops or cherrios in the toilet and they could try and hit the targets. If he is going to day care find out what is going on there about potty training. Maybe something is being said or done that has scared him there.

Jill - posted on 07/27/2009

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I never made it a big deal. When we got home from Day Care, I put panties on her for the evening. It definatley makes a mess when she goes in them but everytime she would, we would just go to the potty and I told her this is why we would go on the potty becuase it does not feel good to have wet/dirty panties. She has totally gotten the peeing but we're still working a little on the pooping.

Hazel - posted on 07/25/2009

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try putting a ping pong ball in the toilet it just floats even when you flush he will have great fun trying to wee on the ball

Jhody - posted on 07/25/2009

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Talk to you MD to make sure no physical problems. I used a potty chart in bathroom. I sticker for pee 2 stickers for poop. It worked for my daughter

Maria - posted on 07/25/2009

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you may need to buy him a potty chair that's for his size, our toilets seem overwhelming for them, my son is now successfully potty trained for the last two weeks and he is 3 yrs and3 months, our other two sons were potty trained by the time they were 2 or 2-1/2 yrs old. I think we spoiled this one since he is our last and our schedules didn't help either, we finally took him out of training diapers/pants and simply had him in regular underwear, we let him pick them out, then he was really excited about actively participating in potty training, but the potty chair his size really helps. He, too fears our adult-sized toilet, but we don't mind right now as long as he goes to his potty chair. At daycare he goes to the toilet because they have child size toilets that look identical to our adult-sized toilets, so they are not over-bearing. i hope this helps. Boys do take longer than girls I've been told by my pediatrician. But like Yvonne (in the previous post) said, it really helps when we make a big deal out of it. I even had all of us get in line like we all had to go and take turns going potty for a few times until he got the hang of it.

Yvonne - posted on 07/24/2009

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Go online and purchase a potty training video that has real kids no cartoons. That worked for my son. I also did a silly dance and song to get my son to sit on the toilet. Any time that I got him to go potty I made a very big deal. It was like a celebration! Keep in mind that boys mature slower than girls. Just keep encourageing him. It will happen.

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