My two year old daughter hates daycare

Chrissy - posted on 10/22/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Normally I'm a stay at home mum, as I only work part time during school holidays and now I've just started working one day a week as well, as that's the only available time at daycare I can get until there are more vacancies. But for two months now my daughter has cried, screamed, whined and pleaded for me not to leave her there, every time I take her to day care. She cant speak much but she points to the door to say she wants to leave, clings to me, says "please" and "ta" so i wont leave her there amongst her tears and screams, and also says "dad" or "nana" because she would rather me take her and leave her with them, but "dad" works during the day and although "nana" babysits at times she has health problems and cant always cope for long periods, and i don't feel right asking her to do it regularly, that's why i put my daughter in day care. The carers at daycare have told me she is almost always upset there and once I had to go back and get her 10 minutes after I dropped her there because she had made herself sick from crying. I thought she would have improved by now and now I don't know if she will, it upsets me to leave her and I feel guilty but I'm doing this to try to make some extra money to live. I feel like I want to pull her out, but I don't know if she will eventually get used to it and get better or if it's not worth making her upset for just a few hours a day. I'm also recently separated so being a single mum I could really do with the extra money to support the kids. Any advice would be helpful.

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6 Comments

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Lindsey - posted on 11/04/2011

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If your daugher is unhappy with daycare then you do need to pull her from that daycare and put her in another one. Being as my mom has been working in daycare for more than 25 years, she tells me if the child is not happy it is most likely the teachers there are not treating her good. I know my sister had a problem with her daughter in a classroom while she was working at that same daycare and the teacher there was very ugly to my neice. She ended up going to another class where she was then happy and loved being there. Definitly take her out and try another daycare until she is happy going. It does take a week or two before she will get used to it but it shouldn't take longer than that. If it does it's not the daycare for her. Just remember it should only take a few minutes after you drop her off for her to stop crying. Also the faster the good-bye or in my case see you later the better and faster way for her to get used to it. Also make sure you talk to her about her teachers on the way to drop her off. May ease the tension with her. Make sure the teacher is willing to take her out of your arms and give her some TLC. But once again remember the 1-2 week rule, if she is still crying after that period, something is wrong. Once a week will also take a toll on her. If she went everyday a week then she would get used to it faster and understand mom is coming back. Once a week though usually will not help her be ok with daycare.

Sarah - posted on 11/02/2011

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I know how it breaks your heart to leave your little girl crying for you, but you are doing the right thing. I agree with Amy. From everything I've read toddlers are creatures of habit and they function well with strict routines. So if she goes to daycare more than once a week it should be better. I don't know anything about the daycare, but it's odd that after 10 to 15 minutes they can't get her to stop crying. Usually with my daughter (and most children) she can be distracted with a favorite toy or someone plays with her and she's fine after that. Occasionally she asks for me and if they show her pictures of me (on Facebook), she's fine. I hope it gets better.

Loni - posted on 11/01/2011

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Sounds to me like your family has a great support system and that you are a great parent. Your child is used to getting the one on one treatment from everyone and them gushing over them which is only natural and always great, But childeren also benefit from being outside of them home. although people may treat them different then they are used to being treated its not all bad. They need the life experience to prepare them for change and for the future. They learn how to share and respect other. And as long as you trust the people that ur leaving them with i think only good thing come with it. just trust and learn to let go and them comfort them and make it fun for them when they tell you what they have learned when they get home. I have a 1yr old and i use his "teachers" names alot so he feels more comfortable about them when we come and go from daycare.

Mez - posted on 10/31/2011

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Try and organise a playdate with some other children from the centre so she can get to know them and have some friends. You may find a friend from this too.

Amy - posted on 10/24/2011

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I would look for another day care but you may find that the reason she's having such a hard time adjusting is because she's only going one day. In her head she's being dropped off with strangers every 6 days, the other kids there probably go more often so they have adjusted to the routine and know how things work. To your daughter her routine is completely turned upside down 1day a week.

Lisa - posted on 10/24/2011

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I think you should try another day care. We had to pull my son out of one where he was unhappy - it really may be that you need to find a smaller scale place

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