Planning of another baby...

Sylvia - posted on 04/13/2010

Honestly? Any situation in which you are ever likely to have two in diapers at once or two in university at once seems like too close to me. If I got to choose, I would want to space my kids about four years apart -- but definitely no less than three. I know a lot of people with kids two years apart or even less, on purpose, and except in cases where they started later in life and are afraid to wait any longer in case they start experiencing fertility problems, I just can't figure out what the rush is. Having a toddler is really, really hard hard. Having a toddler and a newborn at the same time? OMG, I can't imagine how people even get through the day!

Of course, you shouldn't really listen to me about this, since if I am lucky enough to have a second child, my kids will be spaced at least 8 years apart -- definitely not my original plan :D

Kimberly - posted on 03/25/2010

Good Luck, Rhonda--I hope it happens for you soon!

Rhonda - posted on 03/25/2010

well i have 2 children 41/2 and 21/2 and i want another one at the moment but we have been trying for a year now and nothing still friends of ours have had kids in the time that we have been trying and it makes me feel horrible looking at them with there babys and knowing that we may not be able to have another.we r just wingin it now doctors cant explain to us wats wrong all tests are clear so we r just gonna keep trying.

SarahJane - posted on 03/23/2010

Well Kimberly, I think my husband would freak... I mean, daycare for two babies!! Well, he keeps making the comment that in 10 months we will find out if I am preggo! Yes, you're right... we will see. Crossing my fingers that it does not happen this soon!

Kimberly - posted on 03/22/2010

haha sarah...my husband and i are in the same little predicament! funny how they don't want to use condoms, even though I'm not so sure my husband is really thinking about the possible outcome--I know he'd rather wait to have another one. They're like teenage boys! lol In the heat of the moment--they're like, whatever! Bring on the babies!! Condoms have been working out well so far, I've been off the pill since early Dec. I didn't really want to be on hormones anymore. So, we'll see when we get preggo again, I guess---Just a matter if time! :o) (My daughter, Hope is 15 mo.)

SarahJane - posted on 03/21/2010

Well my husband and I just stopped using condoms, and I am nervous because our son is only seven months old. My husband seemed to talk me in and out of stopping using condoms several times. Then after we have had sex at least eight or nine times in the past three days, said "Well if in 10 months we have another little one we know when he/she was conceived." I don't know if he wants another one without saying it or is trying to make light of it. I tried to say, DON'T SAY THAT, but he became upset that I would even question that his sperm would get me preggers. Good LORD! Is he hoping for that?

SarahJane - posted on 03/21/2010

Well my husband and I just stopped using condoms, and I am nervous because our son is only seven months old. My husband seemed to talk me in and out of stopping using condoms several times. Then after we have had sex at least eight or nine times in the past three days, said "Well if in 10 months we have another little one we know when he/she was conceived." I don't know if he wants another one without saying it or is trying to make light of it. I tried to say, DON'T SAY THAT, but he became upset that I would even question that his sperm would get me preggers. Good LORD! Is he hoping for that?

Kimberly - posted on 03/17/2010

What do you consider "so close," Sylvia??

Sylvia - posted on 03/17/2010

Frankly, I don't know why anyone would want to have their kids so close together. Extremely close spacing -- on purpose -- seems to be the trend these days, and I just don't get it: not only will you end up with two kids in diapers and two kids in daycare at the same time, but someday you'll have two kids at university at the same time. Oy vey.

That said, if you want another baby, and you're lucky enough to be able to conceive more or less when you want to without medical intervention, you should thank your lucky stars and go ahead and have one. (Don't forget, you won't necessarily get pregnant right away when you start trying.) You might wait until kid #1 is weaned, though, unless you're planning on tandem nursing :)

Kimberly - posted on 03/17/2010

My biggest thing is childcare, I guess...right now, we depend on family. So, to hand Grandma 2 kids under the age of 3...I dunno...I feel guilty even asking. And health insurance... I'm a worrier, so there's no doubt these are the things on my mind 99% of the time!

Jennifer - posted on 03/17/2010

It depends on if "winging it" could potentially put you and your family into dire straits or simply mean you would have to go without some luxuries you might be able to have now. We are trying for number 2 and had hoped to have a bigger place before but that probably won't happen, so the kids will have to share a room but oh well I shared a room as a kid, maybe it's better. But if having another baby now will make it difficult to put any kind of roof over your head or food on the table than you should figure that out first. Otherwise go for and pass up that cute pair of new sandles this summer. That's my plan!

Keisha - posted on 03/15/2010

I agree with both ladies in that many people wing it but having a little forethought could only help the situation. We are also considering having another child (our 3rd) and it never hurts to think ahead or plan things out...at least as much as you can. Granted there will be many unpredictables, however, the benefit of a "planned pregnancy" is the ability to get as many of your ducks in a row that you can.

Lindy - posted on 03/13/2010

Honestly, I don't think a little planning would hurt. Since you already have a child, you know what expenses are involved, such as child care and increased living expenses.
Now I know that you can't plan for everything, and some things come up unexpectedly, such as the loss of a job, accidents, etc. However, having some sort of plan before you conceive will help decrease any possible financial anxiety you might experience during the pregnancy.
I am a firm believer in "everything works out in the end", but it never hurt to plan.

Teresa - posted on 03/13/2010

if everyone had their "ducks in a row" before having children, many of us would not be here today! All of those things are definately great to consider before conceiving a child, but i wouldn't let it control my future. In my experience, i have 4 children and i probably would have only had 2 if i made sure my "ducks were in a row". Like most things we moms learn how to adjust to everyday life changes. Planned or not planned. YOu will learn how to cope and manage your life, your childrens lives and overall the whole family when issues come up. If you and your husband can communicate well and if you have great family support, i would say wing it. Honestly, the best things in life can come from the unplanned and unexpected. Also, From experience, you may not be guaranteed you will become pregnant when you plan it. Good luck :)