potty training

Heather - posted on 01/21/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My son will be three next month and he absolutely REFUSES to train!! I'll ask him to go potty and he screams "NO!!!"On the occasion when I can get him to sit on the potty, he doesn't do anything. He knows when he needs to go tho, because one day I had just changed his diaper, and as he started to laugh, I hear "pssssssssss" .. schmuck! After he goes he tells me "Change bum!" , or "tuta!" (our word for potty) how do I get him to tell me when he needs to go and actually sit there when he needs to? He is in daycare all day m-f, and i have spoken with them about trying to start training him there too, but i feel like we're getting nowhere with this fast. HELP!!!!!

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Amanda - posted on 02/06/2012

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My son is the same way he knows what a toilet is for he pees in it when he wants to he finally pooped in it once last week I was excited but he refuses to tell me everytime he needs to go I tried putting pull ups on him he kicked & screamed said no diaper I have a 3 month old baby as well I think thats part of it as well why he won't go

Candi - posted on 02/03/2012

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An important developmental step for every child is potty training. Most children begin using the toilet as toddlers, usually between 18 months and 3 years old. (Note: It usually takes a little longer to potty train boys than girls. Boys, on average, can be successfully potty trained in 12 weeks. Girls, on average, can be successfully potty trained in 10 weeks.)



Signs that your child may be ready to start potty training include:



Staying dry for at least two hours at a time.

Having regular bowel movements.

Being able to follow instructions.

Being uncomfortable with dirty diapers and asking for them to be changed.

Asking to use the potty or saying that they need to urinate or have a bowel movement.

Showing interest in the toilet and/or wearing “big kid” underpants.

When you begin potty training:



Dress your child appropriately for potty training. Garments with elasticized waists, Velcro, and snaps are usually easy for your child to take off and put on.

Choose a potty seat that your child can easily use on their own.

Your child may want to personalize his/her potty: by letting him/her write his/her name on the little potty, a sense of ownership can develop. Your child may be more likely to use a potty if s/he feels it is uniquely his/hers.

Assure your child that s/he will not fall in the potty (many children have fears of falling in a toilet while sitting on it).

Encourage your child to use the potty at regular intervals - or whenever s/he show signs that s/he needs to go.

Use proper terms (urinating and defecating) as well as the terms your child may be more comfortable with (peeing and pooping). Make sure that you define your terms so that your child becomes adept at using the terms him-/herself.

Start with the basics. Both boys and girls should be shown how to potty from a seated position first. Once boys master urinating from a seated position, they can “graduate” to learning how to urinate while standing. The reason boys should learn to urinate while seated first is that bowel movements and urination often occur in the same bathroom visit . . . additionally, the delay in learning to urinate while standing minimizes the likelihood of your son making messes while enthralled with the spray he can create by urinating.

Teach your child to wipe properly. Show him/her how to remove toilet paper from the roll, wipe, and throw the used toilet paper in the toilet. Instruct girls to wipe from front to back, which helps avoid urinary tract infections. (Note: your child may need help to wipe effectively, especially after a bowel movement, until about age 4 or 5.)

Be supportive and use rewards, such as stickers, when your child is successful on the potty.

Use praise, applause, special songs, reading a special book in the bathroom, or whatever else resonates with your child.

Avoid pressure: your child will likely have accidents during the process. Don’t punish him or her for any setbacks.

Be sure that your babysitter understands your approach to potty training and is consistent with rewards, praise, etc.

Let your child pick out new ‘big kid” underpants with his/her favorite characters (Dora, Thomas the Train, etc.) on them.

Use potty-themed books and videos to reinforce key messages.

Don’t begin toilet training during a stressful time (e.g., moving, new baby, starting a new preschool, etc.)

Recognize that your child has control of his/her bodily functions, and you can’t get him/her to “go” on the potty until s/he is ready. Don’t turn this into a power struggle because it’s one that you won’t win. If your child seems to develop a resistance to potty training, don’t continue the potty training. You can resume potty training when you child again expresses an interest in learning to use the potty.

When your child has completed a visit to the potty, show your child how to flush the potty. Some children experience fear of the flushing mechanism: they fear that they themselves may be flushed away. You may need to flush the potty for your child for a period of time, until your child observes no harm resulting from each flush. At that time, your child should naturally develop a desire to try his/her own hand at flushing the potty. Once the potty is flushed, show your child how to wash his/her hands.

Calmly and patiently teaching your child how to use his/her potty can be a trust-building, bonding experience for both of you. Let the potty begin!

Nicole - posted on 01/31/2012

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OK just FYI your rate will go down in daycare if he is potty trained (just a little motivator)....have you tried going to the potty with him, this may sound a little off, but for him to watch either you or his dad go, he will start to understand. Also, when you have to use the bathroom, maybe you should start saying out loud, mommy has to potty and actually let him hear/see you go. Kids are sponges and everything they see us do, they start to do them as well. Also, you may just have to bit the bullet and bring the potty in the family room and let him sit there until he goes(regardless) how long it may take...



Hope this helps, a mom of a 10 yr old.

Stephanie - posted on 01/31/2012

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Hi, I have a 3 year old daughter who was stubborn about potty training. She was finally potty trained at 2 years and 9 months but this was after several months of working on it. She finally said to me that she no longer wanted to wear pullups because her best friend (who is a month older than her) wears underwear. Within a week, she was fully trained! The moral of the story is that they will be potty trained when they are ready to be trained. From talking to my mom friends with boys, they do take longer and some people don't even start potty training their sons until after their 3rd birthday. Most importantly, relax! He'll be fine! I used to stress over it all the time and the kids can see the stress in your face and then they stress about it. The calmer you are, the calmer he'll be and one day it will just fall into place. Good luck to you and your son!!

Faye - posted on 01/31/2012

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If you buy/use pullups now, STOP! and use regular undies.



We bought 4 different packages of undies for our son. Mickey, Pooh Bear, 101 Dalmations and dinosurs.



(While considered a bit wrong by some) we told him that the dogs and dinosurs would bite him and Mickey and Pooh would be dissappointed if he pottied them. It worked like a charm within 5 weeks we had no more daytime accidents.



The sitter boasted how she would have him trained within 3 weeks. He was just stubborn enough that it took her and I 5 weeks. One thing I tried was to set a timer for every 15 minutes, when the timer went off he had to at least try. Once he had mastered the 15 minutes (about 2 weeks) then I changed the timer to 30 minutes for about 2 weeks. I had it up to 45 minutes when he told me "don't set it again mommy, I can go on my own now." I reset the timer anyway and he went at about 42 minutes on his own in the potty chair. I never did reset the timer after that.



If it is still made is the question but back in 1988 when I babysat twin boys, their parents had a plastic mini ladder with a hole in the center, it sat over the toilet for potty training. It folded up so it could sit against the wall when not in use. Maybe your son is afraid of falling in the toilet.

Candi - posted on 01/24/2012

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An important developmental step for every child is potty training. Most children begin using the toilet as toddlers, usually between 18 months and 3 years old. (Note: It usually takes a little longer to potty train boys than girls. Boys, on average, can be successfully potty trained in 12 weeks. Girls, on average, can be successfully potty trained in 10 weeks.)



Signs that your child may be ready to start potty training include:



Staying dry for at least two hours at a time.

Having regular bowel movements.

Being able to follow instructions.

Being uncomfortable with dirty diapers and asking for them to be changed.

Asking to use the potty or saying that they need to urinate or have a bowel movement.

Showing interest in the toilet and/or wearing “big kid” underpants.

When you begin potty training:



Dress your child appropriately for potty training. Garments with elasticized waists, Velcro, and snaps are usually easy for your child to take off and put on.

Choose a potty seat that your child can easily use on their own.

Your child may want to personalize his/her potty: by letting him/her write his/her name on the little potty, a sense of ownership can develop. Your child may be more likely to use a potty if s/he feels it is uniquely his/hers.

Assure your child that s/he will not fall in the potty (many children have fears of falling in a toilet while sitting on it).

Encourage your child to use the potty at regular intervals - or whenever s/he show signs that s/he needs to go.

Use proper terms (urinating and defecating) as well as the terms your child may be more comfortable with (peeing and pooping). Make sure that you define your terms so that your child becomes adept at using the terms him-/herself.

Start with the basics. Both boys and girls should be shown how to potty from a seated position first. Once boys master urinating from a seated position, they can “graduate” to learning how to urinate while standing. The reason boys should learn... http://tinyurl.com/ybyxqhu

Christina - posted on 01/24/2012

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my son was 3 yrs 8 mths before he was fully trained...don't worry, it does take longer with boys but they grow in maturity really fast at that age, one day they're not interested, the next, they've got it down! My son started wearing pullups since 3yrs old. The daycare he was attending would have regular times for potty and all the kids would line up to visit the potty and try. My son wasn't too interested, but did try when asked to. On weekends, I would do the same, put him in the potty after breakfast, lunch, mid-afternoons, etc. Finally, one day he noticed an itch around his hip area. I told him the pullups were giving him a rash, but if he wore regular underwear the rash would go away. He said nothing, but within a week he told me he didn't need pullups anymore! Never had an accident since. They all get it on their own time....just relax.

Susana - posted on 01/23/2012

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Hi Heather,

I have a daughter, and I hear that boys are more difficult to train, but... After several moths of getting nowhere, we dropped the pullups completely and put her in underwear during the day. After a week of wetting herself, she was trained -- only had two or three accidents total after that (and this was 2 years ago). We did A LOT of laundry that week, but it was worth it. It was actually her daycare teachers who suggested this -- they told me to bring in several changes of clothes and they would change her if she wet herself. So talk to your daycare teachers and see if they'll do this. Good luck!

Suzie - posted on 01/22/2012

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my daughter was three and i took away her pullups and made her clean her self

Anita - posted on 01/21/2012

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Hello Heather, my son is 27months. He isn't consistent with communicating when he needs to go. A couple of months ago he was so excited and would go regularly, but stopped. This behavior made me curious so I did some research. Basically most of the info. stated that I need to be consistent. Set aside a few potty times at the same time everyday. Even if he doesn't go potty. Still insist he sit on the potty. It will become a habit. Make sure you find a reward for everytime he does go potty, or in your case for everytime he sits onthe potty. I hope this is helpful.

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